


find me again

by voltory



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-05-19 22:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 48,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14882441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voltory/pseuds/voltory
Summary: "Where's Lance, Pidge?" Keith asks as soon as the doctor is out of the room, annoyed, his head pounding slightly again."About that," Pidge mumbles and Keith looks up at her, his brows furrowing together when he sees she's looking at Shiro instead, her eyes squinted shut slightly. "There's something you need to know.""Keith," Shiro starts, his hand back on Keith's shoulders, lips turned down into a pitiful frown. "A lot of things have changed these past three years.""Okay," Keith says, shaking his head. "What's your point? I know things probably changed quite a bit.""Well, you see Lance," Shiro says, pursing his lips together. "You and Lance...""You guys broke up," Pidge blurts out finally, making Keith snap his head in her direction, his heart rate picking up again. "You broke up a while ago, like... a bit over two years ago."





	1. part 1

**Author's Note:**

> i welcome you to another one of my favorite tropes. memory loss.

The first thing Keith registers as he wakes up is the annoying background music of some video game, the television humming softly in the background with the news on, and a slurping sound from a cup that's already empty and just full of ice. He groans softly and he hears a snap, the music from the game cutting, a soft thud as the cup is set down, and then he feels hands against his cheeks, cool to the touch. He lets out a soft sigh, opening his eyes slowly, squinting in the bright light as he glances back and forth between the two people in front of him.

"I'll go get the nurse," Shiro says, the cool hands leaving his cheeks, the sound of steps rushing out of the room following.

"Keith, you okay?" Pidge's voice asks him and Keith turns to look at Pidge, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"What happened?" he asks, his vision clearing, looking around what's definitely a hospital room, lifting his right arm to find an IV attached to him. "What's going on, Pidge?"

"You were in an accident," Pidge says, sighing and slumping back down on her seat next to Keith's bed. "It was... pretty bad. I... I'm not sure if Shiro wants me telling you about it right away but basically a driver knocked you and your bike off the road. He was distracted, I think."

"Oh," Keith mumbles, suddenly feeling a pulsing pain on his head. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah," Pidge says, her voice annoyed, grumpy. "Does anything hurt? You have a few injuries but I don't know, I'm afraid there might some underlying symptoms the doctors couldn't spot because you were knocked out."

"How long?" Keith asks, swallowing once, licking his dry lips. "Do we have any water?"

"Almost three days," Pidge says, the sound of a cup filling then the press of a straw against his lips snapping Keith awake again. "Try to stay conscious until the doctor can come check on you, Keith."

"Sure," Keith mumbles once he's done sucking greedily at the water, opening his eyes again despite the fact that it makes his headache worse. "Where's Lance?"

"Huh?" Pidge asks, dropping her hand to Keith's arm to squeeze it lightly.

"Is he okay?" Keith asks, letting out a ragged breath through his nose. "I hate making him worry. He's never going to let me live this down."

"Um," Pidge laughs softly, a nervous hint to her voice. "Lance is... um... hey Keith."

"Mhm?" Keith hums, turning his head to look at Pidge.

"How old are you?" she asks, her face straight.

"Pfft," Keith snorts, shaking his head. "If you forgot my birthday just say so. It's not for a while, y'know?"

"Just answer the question you big dummy," Pidge mutters, reaching for Keith's hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Twenty," Keith huffs, rolling his eyes, his nose scrunching at the now obvious worry in Pidge's gaze. "What?"

"I'll be back," Pidge mutters, dropping Keith's hand and walking to the door.

"Can you call Lance, please?" Keith calls after her, reaching up with the hand free of his IV to rub at his face.

"Ahh!" Pidge shouts back, shutting the door behind her.

When the doctor comes into the room they prop Keith's bed up to make him sit upright, Shiro keeping a steady hand against his chest which Keith is grateful for because he bruised a few ribs it seems. That explains why it hurts to breath and stretch. One of his legs is wrapped in a cast as well and he can see some nasty scratches where his skin definitely dragged against the asphalt but other than that Keith seems like he got pretty lucky. The doctor confirms this as he begins his examination, asking him his full name, his birth date, if he's allergic to anything. Then it gets a bit weird.

"I have a series of questions that would like you to answer to the best of your ability," the doctor says, looking down at a chart.

"Uh, okay," Keith agrees, glancing at Shiro with a raised eyebrow. Shiro doesn't say anything, just rests a hand against his shoulder encouragingly.

"Age?"

"Twenty."

"Name of our current president."

Keith laughs slightly, scratching at his chin as he tries to think of the last name he saw on the news. He was never the type to pay too much attention but eventually he comes up with a name, answering the rest of the doctors question. What year is it? A slight frown at his answer. What _month_ is it.

Keith is about to voice his concerns about why he's being asked all of this when he finally sees Shiro's and Pidge's face set in a worried pinch. Pidge purses her lips together, brushing back her hair and Keith finally notices that it's a bit longer than usual. Last he saw her she had just gotten a fresh haircut back to the bob she preferred. There's no way it grew back that quickly. He looks at Shiro then and glances at his arms and shoulders, finding muscles that Shiro definitely didn't have last week and there's no way he developed them that quickly either.

He feels a slight rise of panic, his heartbeat monitor alerting them and he shakes his head, glancing up at the doctor with his eyebrows furrowed. He thinks he already knows what's going on but he needs to hear it first.

"It looks like you have some memory loss," the doctor says, pursing his lips together. "How much time would you say is missing based on his answers?"

"Uh," Shiro mumbles, eyeing the heart monitor as it continues to skyrocket as Keith starts to breath heavily. "Almost three years, I'd say."

"Yeah," Pidge huffs, nodding and glancing at Keith with a pitiful gaze, it makes Keith's blood boil.

"Are my memories going to come back?" Keith finally asks, looking down at his lap.

"It's hard to say," the doctor replies, his pen tapping against Keith's chart. "There's not much we can do for you when it comes to this. Long-term memory is a bit tricky sometimes but returning to your usual routine should help. Also learning small clusters of information about what you're missing, and a lot of rest. And don't force yourself you might induce headaches."

Shiro squeezes Keith's shoulder lightly, making Keith huff, his shoulders sag but he nods, barely even listening as the doctor continues to drone on. Most of the instructions are for Shiro and Pidge anyway, letting them know the ways they can help Keith because he's basically useless if he doesn't know what the hell is going on. He curls his hands around the sheet over his lap and chews on his lip, wishing he had his phone so he could call Lance. Lance would probably know just the right thing to do to trigger his memories back.

"Where's Lance, Pidge?" Keith asks as soon as the doctor is out of the room, annoyed, his head pounding slightly again.

"About that," Pidge mumbles and Keith looks up at her, his brows furrowing together when he sees she's looking at Shiro instead, her eyes squinted shut slightly. "There's something you need to know."

"Keith," Shiro starts, his hand back on Keith's shoulders, lips turned down into a pitiful frown. "A lot of things have changed these past three years."

"Okay," Keith says, shaking his head. "What's your point? I know things probably changed quite a bit."

"Well, you see Lance," Shiro says, pursing his lips together. "You and Lance..."

"You guys broke up," Pidge blurts out finally, making Keith snap his head in her direction, his heart rate picking up again. "You broke up a while ago, like... a bit over two years ago."

"Huh?" Keith asks dumbly, his hands shaking slightly because there's no way. That can't be true, she has to be lying. Lance and Keith _barely_ started dating. They were barely on their sixth month and things were going _great_. Keith was going to plan a huge date and give Lance some expensive gift he had been saving up money for. And they were going to make out, and maybe finally sleep together, who knows. They had been talking about it lately. Lance had been really shy... really sweet.

Keith was going to tell him he _loved_ him.

"Uh..." Keith tries to continue, swallowing thickly, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes and he hates it, doesn't want to cry in front of his friends. "I... uh... how long um... how long did our relationship last?"

"Almost eleven months, I think," Pidge mumbles, covering Keith's hand with her own.

"Why did we break up?" Keith asks, his voice wobbly, the tears betraying him as they pool over his eyes, all he has to do is blink now.

"I don't actually know that," Pidge sighs. Shiro hums back in agreement. "You both didn't really share your reasons. It was kind of shocking to all of us."

"Are we still friends?" Keith asks, blinking, the tears dragging down his cheeks as he looks up at Pidge.

"No," Pidge sighs, squeezing his hand. "You're not. I don't think you two have talked since... well since it happened. I'm sorry, Keith."

###

"Honey, I'm home!" Lance shouts, closing the door behind him and stumbling slightly around as he hops on one foot to take off his shoes, throwing both of them near a corner for tomorrow morning.

"Hey, dude," Hunk calls out, passing by him, a nervous smile on his lips.

"What's up?" Lance asks, grinning as he finally stands upright, ruffling a hand through his hair. "Why do you look like you just ate an entire cheesecake and regret it?"

"Hey, not cool," Hunk huffs, laughing slightly before he trails off uncomfortably, scratching at his arm. "There's something I have to tell you but... I think maybe you should sit down?"

"Ugh, come on, Hunk," Lance whines, walking past his friend and into the kitchen, opening the cabinets to grab a bowl, snatching the cereal from the top of the fridge and grabbing his milk. "Can it wait til after my munchies? I didn't get to eat lunch today, work was wack."

"I mean, no I don't think it can," Hunk says, following Lance to their small table, sitting across from him and grabbing Lance's spoon before he has a time to dig in. "Dude, just listen to me for a second, okay?"

"Okay," Lance huffs, snatching the spoon back from Hunk, holding it near the bowl. "But make it quick, I hate soggy cereal."

"Pidge texted me earlier with some news," Hunk says, and Lance motions with the spoon for him to continue. "She said she was sorry for not telling me sooner but... uh, Keith got in a traffic accident."

"Uh," Lance blinks quickly a few times, letting the spoon touch the table.

"And he was... okay," Hunk shrugs, biting his lip as he pulls out his phone, scrolling through it. "I mean, he broke a leg, and has some bad scratches, and apparently he hit his head pretty hard but for the most part he came out okay."

"How... hold on," Lance says, pushing away the bowl, his heart hammering against his chest. "How did it happen?"

"A distracted driver knocked him off the road," Hunk says. "He was on his bike."

" _Shit_ ," Lance says, standing up, looking back at Hunk before he starts pacing the room nervously.

"He was knocked out for a few days but he finally woke up a few hours ago and," Hunk continues, still eyeing Lance nervously. "And everything looked okay until they started asking him questions."

"Get to the point," Lance says, crossing his arms.

"He has some memory loss," Hunk says, fiddling with his phone, tossing it back and forth between his big hands. "And..."

"And?" Lance asks, still worried but relieved at the same time that at least he's okay.

"And he thinks you two are still... together," Hunk finishes, his voice becoming smaller after every word. "Just... Pidge just wanted to give you the heads-up in case you two somehow see each other even though it hasn't happened since your split."

"He thinks we're still together?" Lance asks, rubbing at his face, an annoying habit he picked up from Keith. He just rubbed all the germs in his hand against his precious skin. "Like... dating?"

"Yeah," Hunk says, letting out a long sigh.

"Okay, okay," Lance nods, grabbing the spoon again from the table as he sits down, pulling his cereal close and sighing at how it definitely is soggy now. "I mean, nothing has changed really. We don't even live that close to each other or go to the same places, dude. It's going to be fine, I mean... it's not like my problem, or... whatever."

"Right," Hunk nods. "It was just in case you two happened to somehow meet. You know."

"Right," Lance mutters, nodding before he finally pops the spoon into his mouth, nodding. "Right, right, yeah. Uh, it's cool. I'll, y'know, be nice if I do see him somehow. Doubt it, but I mean, I definitely won't, you know... interact."

"Okay, buddy," Hunk says with a nod, smiling at Lance encouragingly before he walks back to his room.

"What the hell," Lance whispers softly, his feet tapping against the foot of the table nervously.

He hadn't thought about Keith in a long time. Almost a year and a half. It took him embarrassingly long to get over that mullet-head, but he had finally gotten to a place where when he remembered Keith he only remembered the good times. Back before things went sour, before their fights went from playful bickering to heartless attacks at each other's deepest insecurities. He was no stranger to reminiscing, specially when he was drunk, scrolling through his online cloud full of photos from his past.

He sniffs once as he pulls out his phone from his pocket, opening the app and scrolling down to the year he and Keith had _finally_ gotten together to the relief and teasing of all their friends. The first two months or so were mostly pictures of Keith with a blank expression, looking at the camera and leaning close to Lance but nothing more than that despite Lance's pleas for him to at least smile a little bit.

After that the pictures become sweeter. Keith with his arm around Lance, their cheeks pressed together as Lance grins and Keith gives a soft smile to the camera, definitely staring at Lance on the screen. His heart thumps slightly on his chest and he feels those butterflies flapping around in his stomach. He knows Keith loved him, at least. There's a few photos of them kissing that he quickly flips through, not ready to look at any of those closer. He always ends up crying just a bit.

He has photos of Keith lounging in his bed, a laptop on his chest, expression bored while he looked for a movie for the two of them watch. Keith at restaurants staring down at his food, Keith with ice cream at a fair, snoozing at the library while he waited for Lance to finish studying, sweaty after a workout at the gym, in jiujitsu competitions focusing for his next match, his grin as he finds Lance in the crowd after wining a round.

"Mmm," Lance hums softly, tossing away the rest of his soggy cereal, his appetite gone. "This is so weird."

As he lays on his bed that night after washing off his face mask he stares up at his ceiling, keeping his phone clutched against his chest, wondering if he's supposed to do anything. If he should send Keith a get-well-soon card or maybe just send a text to Shiro asking him to pass on the message or just a reassuring text. He settles instead for texting Pidge a thanks for the heads up and that he hopes Keith makes a speedy recovery. He gets back a text after a few minutes thanking him for the good wishes, an flurry of emojis after it, and we should hang out soon.

 _Is he out of the hospital yet?_ Lance asks, unable to hold back.

 **we're just waiting on his release papers** Pidge replies almost instantly. **he's doing good btw, in case ur curious. he has a killer headache tho.**

_that's to be expected, i guess??_

**ya. how are u feeling? is this like super weird? it's weird for us, i mean he's acting u kno... different.**

_i don't rly know, i mean i don't have to see him, so... but i can imagine, dude._

**mm. shiro is freaking out about how we're going to help keith ease back into his routine, we literally don't know that much. he's been kind of really private.**

_oh._

**sorry, lance. i know you probably don't really care about any of this. i'm just venting. it's been a hard couple of days. we thought he wasn't going to wake up.**

_it's cool. just i just... hope he you know recovers quick and gets back his memories._

**me too.**

He rolls over on his side, letting out a quiet sigh as he stares hard at his phone, the screen becoming blurry, trying to think of something to say back but unsure the conversation will go anywhere.

**he keeps asking about you. like what you're up to these days, if you finished your degree... is it okay to tell him?**

_it's fine._

He's overcome with the sudden urge to see Keith. Wants to drive all the way to the hospital or his apartment or wherever he's living these days and just talk to him. Wants to check with his own eyes that Keith is okay despite having a nearly fatal traffic accident. Wants to ask him a lot of questions in his current state of mind, see if he's like he was up until the moment of his last memories. He can't do that to himself, though. He can't do that to Keith either.

###

Keith huffs softly as he's lowered down on the couch of his apartment, looking around the room with a frown because he doesn't recognize _anything_ doesn't even know where he is really. He figured he would have moved out of Shiro's place eventually but he had never pictured anything when he thought about it. The apartment is small, doesn't have too many decorations expect for some scattered magazines, movies, a huge TV, a gaming console, and paintings of the sea on the wall.

Pidge is already in his kitchen clattering around with pots and pans and Keith can see her from here, watching as she tries to find something they can make him.

"Keith, do you even eat?" Pidge asks, coming up with some sandwich bread, digging around inside his fridge.

"I don't know," Keith sighs, shaking his head. "Maybe I just eat out or call in take-out?"

"That's unhealthy," Pidge huffs and Shiro nods in agreement as he lays a blanket over Keith's body, tucking it around his leg in a cast carefully.

"We might have to go grocery shopping for the week," Shiro says, sitting down on the coffee table in front of Keith, staring at him with that same look he used to give Keith back when he was a teenager and hiding something.

"Whatever it is you think I know," Keith says, looking at him plainly. "I don't know it. So... you can scold me when my memories come back, if they come back at all."

"True," Shiro says, letting out a huff of breath, laughing. "It can wait until they come back. Is your head hurting? You want some of your medicine?"

"No," Keith sighs, shaking his head. It does hurt, just a bit, but there's something that hurts worse. "Did my phone survive the crash?"

"Yeah," Shiro says, turning to the duffel bag next to him, digging inside of it before handing a smooth black phone to Keith. "I don't know if you have your fingerprint activated but if you do at least that should let you unlock it in case you can't remember your pin."

"Thanks," Keith says, pressing down on the home button and watching the screen come to life. His background is just black, the time and date staring back at him. He presses down against it again and the screen shifts to his home screen, he goes to his text messages immediately. He only has a few chats open, but it looks like Pidge and Shiro are the only ones he actually communicates with constantly.

His thumb drags on the screen slowly until he hits the bottom and Lance's name stares back at him. The preview for the last message they shared makes him close his eyes, that ugly feeling gripping his chest tightly again. _stop. stop texting me._ Keith doesn't know who sent it but it looks like it worked.

"Eat this," Pidge says, his eyes snapping open as she drops a plate into his lap with a sandwich, tossing him a bag of chips and a bottle of water. "Then you can take a nap."

"Okay," Keith agrees, nodding and pulling up one half of the sandwich to bite down on it, staring at the blank screen of his TV as he eats.

"Are you still thinking about Lance?" Pidge asks, taking Shiro's place on the coffee table as Shiro walks off to look for Keith's wallet.

"Yeah," Keith admits with a sigh, taking a sip of the water and looking up to meet Pidge's gaze. "Can't help it. I'm... for me... I just miss him a lot and I don't know, the sudden news..."

"It must be really weird," Pidge says with a nod, her bottom lip jutting outward into a pout. "Do you... want to talk with him, maybe? I think Hunk and I could convince him."

"I do want to talk with him," Keith says, nodding before dropping his gaze again, his shoulder shrugging slightly. "But, I don't know if I should. If we couldn't even stay friends then... this isn't even his problem, you know? I'm just going to have to deal with it."

"Yeah," Pidge sighs, nodding her head, kicking lightly at the couch. "I guess you're right but you know, in case you decide you do want to, I'll do my best to get him to at least give you a phone call."

"Thanks," Keith smiles, unlocking his phone again as he finishes up his food, opening all the messages to skim over them. He chokes slightly when he sees some from someone he could only describe as a friend with benefits. "Uh... who is Fries?"

"I think he's a friend from your gym, or something," Pidge shrugs, glancing at Keith. "I haven't really heard much about him, except for that one time he came to drop off something you let him borrow. Why?"

"Just... looks like we're close, is all," Keith mumbles, closing the chat and moving on to another one, a blush crawling up his neck. He doesn't know if it's an angry one, an embarrassed one, or a guilty one. It feels like he's cheating.

Pidge leaves when Shiro comes back with groceries, saying something about playing catch up for some of her work, and drops a kiss against Keith's cheek that has him laughing shyly because that definitely isn't something that used to happen a few years ago. She gives him a playful grin, sticking her tongue out at him before she disappears through the door.

"Are you sure it's okay with you if I stay here while your leg recovers?" Shiro asks Keith again that night as he helps Keith limp to his bedroom.

"Yeah, Shiro, it's fine," Keith grunts, lowering himself on the bed with Shiro's help. "I'll be needing the help, it's really painful to move right now."

"Okay," Shiro nods, smiling at Keith as he helps him with his covers, brushing back Keith's bangs with a grin. "Feels like old times, huh. Except now you don't look like a baby."

"Yeah, a bit," Keith grins back at him. "I'm definitely getting some dejavu."

"Good," Shiro says to him, turning the light off as he walks out of the room, leaving it slightly open.

Keith's room isn't that much better. He can't see it as well in the dark but he knows it's just as plain as the rest of the house. He has a large mirror, a door that leads to his closet, and a bookshelf full of action figures and some comics. There's more paintings of the sea on his walls but he doesn't pay too much mind to them as he closes his eyes, rubbing his phone between his hands.

Usually right about now he'd be on the phone with Lance, hearing him giggle against his ear as they both try to sweet talk each other into hanging up.

> _"I really want to see you," Keith says, pulling the blanket over his head, closing his eyes._
> 
> _"You just left like an hour ago, Keith," Lance snorts against his ear. "You already miss me that much?"_
> 
> _"Yes," Keith says, honestly, not even hesitating. Lance's breath hitches on the other side, making Keith smile._
> 
> _"Well," Lance says, clearly flustered. "Just... go to sleep then. We're meeting early tomorrow so you need to rest. It's going to be a long day."_
> 
> _"I'm really looking forward to it, Lance," Keith whispers, grinning when he hears a squeak on the other side. "Can't wait to be next to you again, to hold your hand."_
> 
> _"Okay, okay," Lance laughs. "I'm hanging up now. You win."_
> 
> _"I always win," Keith brags._
> 
> _"I'll beat you one day," Lance mumbles softly. "Goodnight."_
> 
> _"Night," Keith grumbles back, the line clicking off a few seconds after._

Keith lets out a huff of breath, rubbing at his eyes when they start to prickle with tears again. He can't even imagine how bad he was when they broke up if he's reacting like this right now. Wonders if he went through the same feelings, the same thoughts he's having right now. Except maybe the Keith with all of his memories dealt with it better because at least he _knew_ why what was happening was happening. Right now, Keith has no clue. All he knows is he woke up and things are so different.

His phone chimes and he lifts it to look at the screen, frowning at it and opening it quickly to look at the message from Fries.

_Haven't heard from you in a while. Everything okay? You weren't at the gym this last week._

Keith huffs out a breath as he stares at the message, his cheeks burning with another blush. He can't really swallow the fact that he's been intimate with whoever this is. Back when he and Lance had gotten together neither of them had slept with anyone. He wonders if they were each others first or if they kept putting it off. Wants to ask Lance but stops himself because he can't do that, he shouldn't message Lance. And second if they did, he would probably hate the fact that he can't remember it. Can't remember that moment.

###

"Dude, that's the third time today, what's going on?" Lance hears Rolo's groan from the other side of the room and he tilts his head back to look at his co-worker. "Did you not get enough sleep or something? You're never this sloppy with your organizational skills."

"Something like that," Lance mutters, shaking his head and rubbing a hand through his hair. "Just some stuff on my mind."

"Then you probably shouldn't be working," Rolo says, the sound of the wheels on his chair scrapping back as he scoots over to Lance. "I mean, you're the boss, y'know. If you need to take a day off just shoot me a text and I'll mentally prepare myself."

"I don't need a day off," Lance mutters, rubbing his shoulder. "And I'm not the boss, I'm just in charge."

"Same difference," Rolo snorts, snatching the whale shaped paperweight from Lance's desk and rubbing over it. "What happened?"

"Mhm?" Lance asks, dragging files into the form he's filling out.

"What's got you so out of it?"

"Oh," Lance lets out an empty laugh. "My ex got in a car crash, lost his memories, and thinks we're still together."

"Wild," Rolo says, sounding unimpressed. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing," Lance snorts, shaking his head and turning to look at Rolo with a raised eyebrow. "What would I even do?"

"I don't know, dude," Rolo shrugs, putting down the paperweight and turning to look at Lance, his expression completely serious, jarring Lance slightly. "But if I were him, I'd probably be hella confused and sad right now. Would be living through all those yucky breakup feelings again, lack of appetite, insomnia, bummed all the time, probably some crying, drinking."

"Uh," Lance frowns, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Because like," Rolo continues, leaning his elbow on the desk, his cheek against his palm. "Imagine waking up from an accident, all hurt, bruised, whatever, and you're just wishing so badly your boyfriend would come see you and cuddle you and shit, but then they tell you that your boyfriend hasn't been your boyfriend for a while... how long?"

"Two years and three months," Lance mumbles, looking away.

"Damn," Rolo whistles lowly, shaking his head. "Poor guy."

"So you're saying I should go see him?" Lance asks, trying to focus again on the form on his screen.

"Nah," Rolo sighs next to him, fiddling with Lance's pens next. "I'm not saying that, because I don't know him. But you do. Do you think he would want to see you? Is it a good idea to go?"

"One of our mutual friends said he was asking about me but I don't know," Lance sighs, shaking his head. "What would I even say to him?"

"I'm sorry for your broken memories," Rolo says without missing a beat. "And I'm glad you're okay and I'm only here to help you understand the part of the past that you're missing."

"I don't know," Lance mutters, shaking his head. "It... it's complicated."

"Hey," Rolo shrugs, leaning back on his chair, throwing his legs over the side of the desk. "You're the one who knows best, I was just being nosy."

"Besides," Lance mutters, letting go of the mouse and sitting back as well. "I'm seeing someone right now. Sort of."

"Riiight," Rolo nods, tapping his hands against his stomach. "How's that going? Nyma, huh? Wow."

"It's going fine," Lance shrugs, chewing on his thumbnail. "We're getting to know each other better. I didn't think she would agree to a date so I was a bit unprepared."

"Sure, sure," Rolo says with a grin, pulling his snapback down to hide his eyes. "But what does Nyma have to do with this anyway? I mean, you're just going to go say hi and bring him a card or something... unless you still got feelings for him."

Lance is silent for a beat too long, rolling his eyes when he sees Rolo's grin widening. He lets out a quiet sigh, slumping down further into his chair, shutting his eyes as his heart starts to beat painfully against his chest again.

"Do you have feelings for your ex?" Rolo asks, nudging Lance with his elbow.

"He's... he's a _big_ ex," Lance shrugs. "First love... all that nonsense."

"Did you ever want to get back together with him?" Rolo asks.

"I... I don't know..." Lance shrugs, biting his lip. "Maybe at first, but I'm not sure anymore."

"This could be like a clean slate," Rolo says casually. "You could get back to how things were."

"Maybe if I didn't have my memories of the past years too," Lance snorts, shaking his head. "But I do have them. I don't think I could take advantage of Keith like that. I don't know if I could be with him without always thinking of when everything is going to go back to how things were before, or his memories returning and... it just doesn't sound like an okay thing to do."

"Whatever you say," Rolo shrugs, folding his arms over his chest, his breathing slowing down.

"You know you get paid by the hour, right?" Lance mutters, snorting, wishing he was carefree enough to take a nap during work hours as well.

###

"Shiro," Keith huffs, following after him with his crutches. "Seriously, what is the gym even going to do for me right now? I can't work out like this."

"No," Shiro shrugs, turning to look back at Keith. "But it is somewhere you went almost every day. You heard the doctor, if we want your memories back it's a good idea to follow your usual routine."

"So what's the plan?" Keith scoffs, panting a bit with effort. "Just walk around and hope seeing someone do a crunch suddenly reminds me of my entire life for the past three years?"

"You never know," Shiro says but theres laughter under his tone. "Crazier things have happened."

"Alright," Keith snorts, going in when Shiro opens the door for him, going up to the check in with him.

"Hi Keith," a girl behind the counter says, giving him a friendly smile. "Haven't seen ya in a minute. I guess now I know why."

"Yeah," Keith says, furrowing his brows and glancing down at his leg as she points down at it. "Um... I brought a guest?"

"Oh, sure thing," she says, nodding, her ponytail bobbing with her as she types into her computer before motioning for them go ahead. "Go on in. Don't work yourself too hard."

"Yup," Keith says back, pursing his lips.

"Are you friendly now?" Shiro asks with a grin, walking next to Keith as they go deeper into the gym, looking around at the equipment and people.

"I don't think so," Keith says, shaking his head. "Maybe she's just one of those people that's overly friendly to everyone. I really doubt I could become an extrovert overnight."

They make their way around the entire gym, Shiro stopping from time to time to show off his strength to Keith who can only roll his eyes, grinning. It's not until they get to the cardio machines that someone finally approaches them. He's slim, his skin lightly tanned, muscles there but not too defined. Keith eyes him as the guy crosses his arms, looking at Keith with a raised eyebrow before he moves his eyes to Shiro, narrowing them.

"So," he says, turning to look at Keith again. "You break your leg and don't think of telling me? When you said you were emotionally unavailable I didn't imagine this."

"Wha..." Shiro trails off, pointing between Keith and the stranger slowly.

"You know, Keith," the stranger continues, sweat sliding down from his temple to his cheek and down his neck, Keith follows one of the sweat drop with his eyes and his brow twitches slightly because it looks familiar but-- "I actually believed you when you said we were going to be exclusive. At least _that_ way but looks like you didn't take long to find a side piec-"

"Okay," Shiro says, laughing and stepping in between them, holding his palms in front of him. The guy doesn't look even the slightest bit intimidated which Keith resents because Shiro is as intimidating as they come. "Enough. There's a misunderstanding here."

"I think I understand just fine," he says, rolling his eyes.

"No, you don't," Shiro starts but the guy cuts him off, waving his hand around.

"I don't need to hear it, whatever, we weren't even together."

"Toget- Keith, _what_?!" Shiro turns to look at Keith, his eyes wide.

"I don't know, Shiro," Keith shrugs, unbothered. "I can't remember shit."

"Wait," Shiro says, calling out to the guy as he turns to walk away. "Please!"

"What?" he turns, his eyes are green, flashing with anger.

"Keith," Shiro starts because he knows Keith isn't going to say anything, isn't going to explain himself to this stranger. "Was in a traffic accident. He hit his head pretty hard and lost the past three years worth of memories."

The guy's shoulders slump, the fight suddenly leaving his body as he turns to look at Keith closer, his eyes lingering on the cast and crutches. He steps closer to Keith, touching his cheek lightly and Keith hates the fact that he has to look up to him. He tries to keep his glare at bay, taking in the details of his face instead because maybe that will trigger some of his memories.

He goes over the shape of his lips, his cheekbones, his forehead, the messy mop of hair on top of his head. There's a sharp pain on the back of his head but he ignores it and the nausea that come with it as best as he can. The guy finally drops his hand and steps back, lips turned down into a small frown.

"Sorry," he offers, shrugging his shoulders. "I didn't mean to be so rude. I didn't know you got hurt like that... you really don't remember me?"

"No," Keith shakes his head, looking at Shiro quickly before glancing back to the guy. "But... let me guess. Are you Fries?"

"Yeah," the guy grins, bumping his shoulder up once. "That's... that would be me."

"I saw our texts," Keith says, clearing his throat. "I'd like to talk to you some more. Not here, though." Not in front of Shiro.

"Sure," Fries says, grinning. "Text me."

"Are you seeing that guy, Keith?" Shiro asks when they're leaving, looking at Keith with wide eyes.

"I think so?" Keith mutters, gripping the crutches tighter. "But it's not serious, I don't think."

"What do you mean?" Shiro asks.

"I think we only sleep together, nothing more," Keith mutters, ignoring how Shiro stops walking all together, his eyes staying resolutely on the car.

"I feel like I don't even know you," Shiro says, catching up with Keith to open the door for him.

"Welcome to the club," Keith huffs, sighing with relief when he finally sits down.

"He kind of reminded me of Lance," Shiro mumbles quietly as he buckles up once he's on the driver's side. "Keith--"

"I know, okay?" Keith says, gritting his teeth. "He reminded me of Lance too but Shiro, whatever it is you want to ask... I still don't know the answers to it."

"Can I tell you what happened after your break up?" Shiro asks, starting up the car and backing out of the parking space.

"Sure," Keith huffs, hugging his arms around himself because that word still makes him feel a chill and the rush of his blood in his arms.

"You kind of shut yourself out for a few months," Shiro mutters, but Keith keeps his eyes out the window. "I mean that's to be expected, but still. When you resurfaced again you seemed different. Everything you did had a dull quality to it, it took us forever to get you to agree to come out to eat, Pidge went crazy trying to distract you with anything. We even tried to plan a way for you and Lance to get back together. I heard... I heard he didn't take it so well either but..."

"But he's Lance," Keith says, slouching slightly in his seat. "He probably bounced back pretty quickly, huh?"

"Something like that," Shiro agrees.

"And you really don't know why we broke up?" Keith asks, looking at Shiro out of the corner of his eye.

"I really don't," Shiro sighs, shaking his head. "You two kept your lips tightly shut about that. I mean, it was easy to see how you managed to do that so easily but Lance usually shares every single bit of information about himself that he can. So when he didn't even tell Hunk the reason we could only speculate. I think we all just came up with various horrible things. It didn't make sense for any of it to happen. At least not to us."

"It has to be bad if we couldn't even stay friends," Keith mumbles, shutting his eyes, trying to remember anything but he only comes up blank. The memories of Lance are all useless when it comes to his current predicament.

"Maybe you two should talk," Shiro mutters, stopping in front of a restaurant. "I think it would really help you. And it's been a while, I'm sure Lance is over it and won't deny you some help."

"Pidge said that too," Keith nods, looking at the window of the restaurant as Shiro unbuckles his seat belt. "I just don't know if it's a good idea. Because... when I see Lance he won't have any of the feelings _I_ still have for him. And I'm just not sure I could take that. Also... he will be different, right? What if... what if I don't like this new Lance?"

"Just think about it some more, Keith," Shiro says, getting out after asking Keith if he wants some chicken and saying that he'll come back quick.

Keith huffs, pulling out his phone and scrolling down to his chat with Lance again. He hasn't been able to open it yet, doesn't want to read the messages. His only option at this point would be to call Lance, because he definitely can't text him. Refuses to even give a bit of room to those messages that they exchanged. Doesn't want to read any anger or heartbreak in them that can feed on to what he's already feeling being away from his... from Lance.

###

Lance ducks quickly behind one of the shelves when he sees Keith sitting at his usual table at the library. He curses quietly because of course Keith would probably visit the places he used to before he lost his memories. Was probably doing it on purpose so that he can trigger some of his memories. Lance peeks at him from behind the books, shifting them around to take a closer look at him.

His heart is pounding against his chest painfully but he ignores it because it's only normal for him to have a reaction like this. Keith... Keith looks different. A bit stronger despite the fact that he has his broken leg propped up on a chair and has bandages around his arms. His hair still curls stupidly just above his shoulders and Lance clutches on to the book he's holding tighter.

"Stupid Keith," he mutters, shaking his head and shutting his eyes tight when he feels a surge of tears. "Why do I still feel like this?"

"Mm," Lance jumps when he hears the soft hum next to him, spinning in place and coming face to face with Pidge. "Feel like what?"

"Nothing," Lance hisses out a breath after, stepping closer to Pidge to hold his finger against her lips. "Be quiet. I don't want him to notice me."

"Okay," Pidge says, her voice dropping to a whisper too. "Sorry. Hunk said you were going to be somewhere else today, so I thought it'd be safe to bring him here for a bit of relaxing and maybe some memory jogging."

"I..." Lance shrugs helplessly. "Yeah, I was going to go somewhere else but plans got canceled last minute. Don't... don't worry about it, I'll go find a seat on the third floor."

"Cool," Pidge mumbles, brushing back her bangs by pushing up her glasses over her head and looking up at Lance with a furrowed eyebrow. "Are you sure you don't want to maybe joins us? I really think if you talked to Keith it would help a lot. It's okay if you don't want to do it face to face but maybe give him a phone call? His number is still the same."

"Maybe," Lance mutters, shaking his head and turning away.

"Lance," Pidge starts, a small smile on her lips as she peeks at him from around his shoulder. "I know it's none of my business but if you ever want to talk about how you're feeling you know I'm here right? I might have been stuck with Keith duty after you two split but... you're still one of my best friends."

"Same here, bud," Lance says with a smile, finally relaxing his shoulders and glancing back between the books again to look at Keith flipping aimlessly through a book. He yawns loudly, rubbing the corner of his eyes before he slumps over the surface of the table and Lance snorts. Some things really never change. "Um... his body temperature kind of drops when he falls asleep," Lance says awkwardly, motioning to Keith with one hand vaguely. "So... cover him up when you get back there. Or... you know, he'll get cold or whatever."

"Okay," Pidge says, grinning, she lowers her glasses back on her eyes again and gives him a wink before walking around the other side of the book shelve, back to Keith.

Lance only lets himself look at Keith for one moment longer before he's making his way to the stairs so he can get to the third floor, holding the book he was going to use for reference against his chest. He takes a few deep breaths in an attempt to relax, sitting down heavily on his chair once he finds a free table. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out, glancing at the screen with a small smile when he sees Nyma's name.

Still sorry we couldn't hang out today. When are you free next?

His phone buzzes again and it's a message from Pidge. It only says two words. _call him._

###

Coming to the grocery store for some comfort food was a bad idea. Lance can admit to that when he's at the check out and the cashier widens her eyes at him at the amount of chips and ice cream and bread he bought. He looks back at her with a slightly shy stare and says, "Party." She only nods as she keeps scanning, the total getting higher, definitely way past Lance's snack budget for the month but when he made that he hadn't taken into account that one day he might be reliving his breakup again.

When he gets home Hunk only shakes his head as Lance puts the tubs of ice cream inside the freezer, handing him over a spoon when he keeps one of them and snatches a bag of chips from the counter. He follows Lance to the living room and silently turns on Netflix to put on one of the many series they're trying to watch together.

"Rough day?" Hunk finally asks after the second episode ends.

"Yup," Lance says simply, shoving his hand back into the bag of chips and shoving as many as he can into his mouth.

"Wanna talk about it?" Hunk mumbles, scooting closer to Lance.

"Keith," Lance says simply, rubbing his nose with his sleeve.

"Ah," Hunk nods, pausing the show in the middle of the cold open. "Are you worried about him? Pidge says he's healing up nicely. They're taking off his cast next month I think. Also the scratches weren't that bad, I mean they were but they didn't get infected or anything. And you know besides the memory loss he's doing good."

"I saw him," Lance says, ignoring Hunk's open mouth. "At the library. It was... um... it brought up a lot of weird feelings."

"Did you talk?" Hunk asks, his voice quiet.

"No, I hid from him," Lance says, shaking his head. "I couldn't talk to him. I don't know if I want to in the first place, but also what could I even say to him, you know? I mean... he probably has a really different mindset from what he was like... and like he thought we were still together when he woke up. Don't you think it would be a bit of a shock for him to see me like that out of nowhere? With no warning? Nah, Hunk. I can't do that."

"Then maybe you could see him with some warning," Hunk suggests, shrugging his shoulders. "You could plan an actual meeting. Pidge and I could come along if it feels weird to be alone together."

"I don't know," Lance says, shaking his head. "I don't think we could actually talk to each other freely if you guys were there listening in. But that's still not the point, you know? Like... it's not like Keith can protect himself from me if I suddenly get angry, you know? I could start lashing out about things he doesn't even remember and just make him feel like shit. I don't want to do that. It might slow down his healing process."

"Lance," Hunk says, resting a hand against his shoulder. "You don't have to answer this but... do you still have feelings for Keith?"

"I don't know," Lance says, shaking his head. "I don't know."

###

"So," Keith says, staring at the guy in front of him, crossing his arms. "Tell me what you know."

"Wow," Andy says, grinning and resting his elbow on the table, propping his chin against his palm. "What is this, an interrogation?"

Keith rolls his eyes at him as Andy wiggles his brows and gives him a wink. He can't really wrap his mind around the fact that this person was attractive enough for him to actually consider sharing his body.

"Just... tell me what we do together," Keith says, shaking his head and snatching his drink from the table to sip at it.

"Not much," Andy huffs, sitting back and poking around at the nachos in front of him. "We tried going on a date once. I insisted. But... you weren't really into it. After that we just kind of saw each other whenever the other needed some... relief, I guess."

"Mhm," Keith says, looking away. "Sorry, that sounds... mean."

"It's okay," Andy says, a small smile back on his lips. "I mean at first it really sucked because... well I liked you but, you know, I know when feelings aren't mutual."

"Sorry," Keith says, meaning it because even though he's always been pretty oblivious about things like these, and he knows what having an unrequited crush feels like.

"It's cool," Andy shrugs, popping a nacho chip into his mouth before he continues with his brief history with Keith.

They met at the gym, Keith scolded him once for his form when he was lifting and their bickering lead to an eventual sort of friendship, that took a turn one night the both of them had been drunk. Andy was totally into Keith at one point but Keith didn't seem to return the feelings so he shut it down himself pretty quickly.

"Why did you keep seeing me?" Keith asks, perplexed, rubbing his thigh when he starts to feel an itch on his leg.

"You're really good in bed," Andy says matter of fact, shrugging again.

"You're really straightforward," Keith tells him.

"Says you," Andy snorts, looking at Keith closer. "Hey... You said around three years are missing right?"

"Yeah," Keith nods, biting his lip.

"We haven't know each other that long, I can't be much help, but," he cuts off, scratching the bridge of his nose. "I think you should talk to that person you always said you were very close to. I think they might be able to help you."

"Yeah," Keith nods, tugging at a lock of hair with a frown. "Everyone keeps saying that, but the person that was most important to me three years ago wants nothing to do with me."

"That's life, huh," Andy laughs, shaking his head. "Well, if you want to get back in touch when your memories come back you know where to find me."

"Sure."

###

He's brushing his teeth as he looks down at the screen of his phone, at the profile for Lance's contact information. His finger keeps hovering over the call icon but he still can't bring himself to press down on it. He sets it down to rinse his mouth and is about to pick it up when it starts to buzz on the counter.

"Fuck," Keith mutters, reaching out for it after drying his hands as best he can against his shirt. He grips the phone finally just as it's about to buzz off the table and his heart stops when he looks at the screen. Lance's name flashes at him, the phone still buzzing insistently and Keith quickly swipes at the screen to answer, pulling the phone to his ear.

"Uh..." Lance's voice says on the other end after a few seconds of silence. "Keith?"

"Yeah," Keith chokes out, leaning against the wall, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, yes, it's me. Sorry."

Lance lets out a huff of a laugh and Keith closes his eyes, sliding down until he's sitting on the cool tile, his back pressed tight against the wall. "Sorry," Lance says. "I don't... I don't know what to say now that I actually called. I... shouldn't have, probably."

"No, it's fine," Keith says, clearing his throat. "I'm the same."

"Mhm," Lance hums. "How are you? I heard you broke a leg. How's that going?"

"It's... it's going," Keith says, looking down at his leg. "I'm getting the cast taken off next week."

"That's good," Lance says, his voice slightly nervous. "So... everything else okay?"

"I guess?" Keith asks, smiling slightly. "I'm... really confused about so much but..."

"Yeah," Lance says quietly. "I bet it's crazy. I just... wanted to check in on you. Didn't want you to think I didn't care about you getting hurt."

"I could never think that, Lance," Keith says, swallowing the lump in his throat because this is all wrong. Lance should be trying to sweet talk Keith right now, embarrassing himself with pick up lines that don't make sense and laughing... Lance should be laughing. Should be telling Keith that everything is going to be fine, that he's going to come over tomorrow and help him out, and cuddle him.

"Oh," Lance says, letting out a soft huff. "I also just... wanted to see if maybe you need something? I was being a bit selfish and only thinking of myself these past two months but if I can help any way... if I can be of use to get your memories back I'm willing to meet up somewhere."

"You don't have to do that," Keith tells him, shaking his head even though Lance definitely can't see it. "I don't want to impose like that on you."

"It's no worry, Keith," Lance says, and it actually sounds like he means it. "I should be able to look past myself this much if it's for the sake of helping you."

"Okay," Keith says finally. "Uh... Shiro is busy the day I'm supposed to take off my cast. Maybe you could give me a ride and after we can go somewhere else to talk?"

"Y... yeah, okay," Lance says, shuffling around on the other end of the line. "Um, give me your new address and I'll be there. What time is your appointment?"

"In the morning," Keith says, pursing his lips. "Sorry, I know you would probably want to sleep in on a Saturday but."

"It's cool," Lance says, noting down the address after Keith recites it to him, still a bit awkward on his tongue even though Shiro forced him to memorize it along with another few bits of personal information Keith had to update on his mind. "Well... I'll pick you up at eight, then."

"Cool," Keith mumbles, licking over his lips.

"Goodnight," Lance tells him after a few seconds of awkward silence, the line clicking off.

###

"Hey, dude," Hunk waves at Lance as he slides out of the bathroom, eyeing him through squinted eyes before he yawns. "Going on a date with Nyma?"

"Um, no?" Lance asks, raising an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's just," Hunk shrugs. "You're dressed up kind of nice. It's usually the style you put on when you're going out with someone."

"What...?" Lance mutters, glancing down at his outfit. He has a pastel blue shirt on, one of his black jackets on, paired with some black jeans, and his usual sneakers. "My date outfits can't be this lame, Hunk, come on."

"It's your date outfit when you actually care about someone," Hunk shrugs, walking back into his room and shutting the door behind him with a click.

"He's just being silly," Lance mutters to himself, walking down the hall to grab his keys and backpack. "No way did I dress up nice to take Keith to get his cast removed. That's insane."

When he gets inside his car he pulls down the mirror, looking at himself, turning his head from side to side and brushing his bangs to the side. He scratches lightly at an eyebrow hair that's out of place before giving up and turning on the ignition, backing out of his spot. There's a nervous flutter in his stomach, energy buzzing on his fingertips.

"This was a bad idea," Lance mumbles to himself, glancing at the map on his phone screen briefly before returning his eyes to the road. "Why did I even make an offer like this? I'm going to die. I'm going to knock on his door and he's going to answer and I'm going to die."

When he parks in front of the apartment he slaps his cheeks a few times, shaking his head and clearing his throat, letting out a few soft greetings in an attempt to find one that doesn't sound weird. He looks at the clock and groans when he sees it reads 8:05AM. After taking another deep breath he climbs off, walking inside the building and straight into the elevator to go up to where Keith's apartment is.

He knocks a few times, not too sharp, stepping back and tucking his hands into his back pockets as he sways back and forth. Coming to Keith's place before used to be one of his favorite things. Keith's bed and couch had always been the perfect place to take a nap and shut off from the rest of the world. Now it just feels like Lance should turn around and bolt, text Keith that he's sorry but something came up. He's about to go for it when the door opens.

"Hi," Keith says quietly, looking at Lance from behind the door before he hops backwards slightly to open it further.

Lance takes in the sight of Keith in with a pang in his chest. He looks at Keith's skin, the color of it a bit paler than he remembers, a still slightly sick tint to it, he has bandages wrapped from his wrist all the way up under the sleeve of his shirt, and the crutches he's leaning on make him look shorter than he actually is.

"Woah," Lance says, looking away and rubbing at the back of his neck. "You really did get hurt kind of bad, didn't you?"

"A bit," Keith says and Lance looks back quick enough to see him nod before he's stepping out of the apartment, pulling the door shut behind him and locking up. "Don't worry, though. I've been told it could have been way worse."

"What happened to your arms?" Lance asks, guiding Keith to the elevator and stepping in after him.

"Scratched them on the concrete," Keith says with a shrug. "They don't hurt too bad anymore, but it's still a bit sensitive. I also had bruised ribs... that... that was actually more painful than anything else. Physically."

"Ouch," Lance mutters, giving Keith a small smile. "Well, at least you'll be able to move around better with your cast off."

"Yeah," Keith nods, sighing and looking down at it. There's a bit of color in his cheeks and he has started sniffing since they got into the elevator. He won't meet Lance's gaze but it's not like Lance is trying too hard to get his attention.

"Weren't you wearing your jacket?" he asks when they're out of the building, Lance leading him to his car and moving to hold the door open for him.

"Not that day, apparently," Keith shrugs, biting his lips. "I wish I could tell you what happened but... I don't remember it."

"Right," Lance laughs slightly, closing the door for Keith once he's settled inside, tucking his crutches into the back seats. "Do you have any place to go in mind once we're done at the doctor?"

"Uh... maybe like a park or something? Too many people around might be weird for me," Keith mutters. He keeps shifting on his seat, scooting backwards into it and slouching.

"Cool cool," Lance says with a nod, starting up the car and backing out of the parking spot he found. "This is... weird."

"Yeah," Keith agrees with a sigh, his shoulders slumping slightly before he turns to the window, his forehead pressed against it. "I'm probably going to get in some trouble."

"How so?" Lance asks, glancing at the GPS on his phone.

"I didn't tell Shiro you were giving me a ride," Keith shrugs. "Everyone is trying so hard to-- Nevermind."

"I mean, you're an adult, Keith," Lance says, biting his lip. "You don't have to ask for permission."

"I don't... really feel like one," Keith says, letting out a slightly sharp laugh. "I don't remember all these accomplishments I've had, or the way my mind grew, it all just wiped out."

"Let's think about something else, then," Lance says, giving Keith a small smile, unable to stop himself from feeling sorry for him even though he knows Keith hates that. "What's the last movie you remember watching?"

"Um," Keith shrugs, pressing his forehead against the window again. "The one with that talking dog."

"Oh," Lance says, squinting his eyes shut for a second, trying not to cringe. Of course, he and Keith used to go to the movies all the time just for an excuse to be in a dark room for hours. They used to get to the theater early in the morning and buy tickets for at least three movies just to watch them one after the other. "It was pretty funny."

"Yeah, it was," Keith nods. "I wasn't really paying much attention to it, though."

"Yeah," Lance mutters, finding a spot to park in once he makes it inside the hospital. "I wasn't either."

They had spent that entire movie facing each other in the very back, tossing popcorn kernels into each other's mouths and laughing quietly whenever one of them missed, keeping score by marking the spot on the wall between their chairs. Keith had won that time. He asked for a kiss.

###

"Isn't it scary?" Lance asks him, his eyes wide as he stares at the saw the doctor has on the table in front of them. Keith rolls his eyes and props his foot up where he's instructed, scooting back until his leg is stretched out all the way.

"Nope," he says, shaking his head and looking up at Lance, turning away when he spots him hovering back and forth, chewing on his lip with some worry. "It's not scary."

"Dude, he's going to saw into your cast with that thing, he could slice up your skin!" Lance shouts, covering his mouth when he gets a sharp look from the nurse inside the room.

"I really doubt it," Keith says, snickering slightly. "I'm sure the doctor knows how thick these things are usually made."

"What if yours isn't as thick as they usually are," Lance mutters, finally standing in place, leaning his elbow into the back of Keith's chair.

"Then... this is where I die," Keith says, shutting his eyes.

He's starting to wish he had. He thinks he's masking his emotions well enough but ever since he saw Lance there's an ache in his chest that just won't leave. If he thinks about too much he's sure he would start crying, he had already been getting a bit sniffly in the middle of the elevator and there's literally not one single safe topic they can discuss because to Keith everything he remembers, everything he wants to do still includes Lance. And Lance... Lance couldn't care less about Keith anymore, clearly has moved on and continued to build his life. Keith hasn't had the courage to take a peek at his social medias but he hopes if he ever does he'll be blocked. He can't be _that_ masochistic.

The doctor comes back into the room a few minutes after that and Keith watches as Lance quickly tucks away his phone into his pocket. He stares at the doctor warily as he lifts the saw from the table and moves closer to Keith, explaining once again what he'll be doing before it buzzes to life in his hand. Keith gulps once, thinking about everything Lance had told him about his impending doom by this saw when he feels warm fingers grip his hand tightly. He looks down at it, swallowing once when he sees Lance's hand gripping his firmly, looking up at his... at him.

"I got you," Lance tells him and it makes Keith's heart skip a beat. "Don't worry."

"I..." Keith is about to deny it but instead he smiles back at Lance. "Thanks."

It's over in a minute and Keith bares through the entire examination afterwards, Lance's hand dropping from his a few seconds after the drill is finally turned off. He stands tentatively with Lance's help, walking back and forth in the room a few times before he finally feels normal enough to brace his own weight by himself.

"Cool," Keith mumbles, wiggling his toes once before he sits down again to grab the sock and his shoe that he brought inside his backpack.

"Does it feel weird?" Lance asks him, dusting his hands when the doctor leaves after signing discharge papers for Keith.

"It does," Keith nods, tying the laces on his sneaker before planting his foot down on the ground again, pushing himself upright. "It kind of feels like it's hollow."

"Weird," Lance snorts, walking to the door and pushing it open, glancing down the hall once to find the exit signs before they set off following them. "So, a park, right?"

"Or somewhere like that," Keith says with a shrug, stepping next to Lance and looking up at him from the side, eyes sweeping over his features that are still the same but a bit more mature. His jaw is sharper than he remembers it. It's not a bad look.

"I got it," Lance says suddenly, tapping his fist into his palm, unlocking the door and getting in right after Keith does. He pulls on his seatbelt and tucks his phone into the cup holder, handing Keith the aux cord for the stereo. "This is gonna be a bit of a long drive. Do you want to play some of your music?"

"Thanks," Keith mumbles, his head pounding slightly because something about this entire interaction seems very familiar but he can't pinpoint it exactly. He has taken trips with Lance before, has gone out to other towns for concerts or to try some restaurant Hunk swore they wouldn't regret getting to. But back then Lance didn't let Keith touch the aux cord, always saying that he chose depressing music. He wonders what changed. Maybe he just feels sorry for Keith.

Keith thinks he might feel sorry for himself if he was Lance as well. If he was in that awkward spot where he doesn't know how to treat someone that has been out of his life... for forever, and suddenly they're back inside this little car, driving down the highway, listening to "depressing music". Lance doesn't look like he feels sorry, though. Sure, he's a bit awkward, they're silent in this ride but...

The windows are down, the wind is blowing through his hair, his arm is rested against the windowsill, his other hand on the steering wheel. Keith is surprised to find him mouthing along to some of the lyrics, his head bopping up and down.

"You like this music now?" Keith asks, unable to hold back a grin.

"It's pretty catchy," Lance shrugs, grinning back. "But, don't worry, I'm still the King of Pop the rest of the time."

"Alright, alright," Keith snorts, nodding his head and turning back to look out his window, resting his chin against the windowsill, shutting his eyes and taking deep breaths as his hair flaps around his face wildly.

"Are you going to get back on your bike?" Lance asks him suddenly as the track shifts to something slower.

"I think I am," Keith says, opening his eyes and becoming dizzy as he watches the trees flash by in a blur.

"You really are fearless," Lance huffs. "I don't think I could ride one again for a long time."

"I'm itching to ride mine," Keith snorts, sitting back again and stopping himself from propping his feet up on the dashboard. "But... it's getting repairs. I'm hoping it can be saved, I really don't want to replace Red."

"Riding it _is_ fun," Lance hums, nodding his head slightly. "But I don't know, I'd probably keep myself to smaller streets for a while if I were you."

"Life can't stop just because someone didn't look twice," Keith mumbles, rubbing under his eye, scratching at the bandages still around his arms. The wounds are better now but he has a habit of picking his scabs and they don't need more help getting scarred.

Keith sits up when they suddenly go from mountains to open spaces, he squints his eyes at the horizon because he thinks he can tell where they are going now but it takes a few more minutes, a few more miles before he finally hears, sees, and smells the sea. Lance's entire posture becomes more relaxed than it had already been, his eyes wandering over to the sea from time to time before returning to the road.

The sun will be setting soon but Keith thinks that's okay, it means less people, a cooler temperature, and it was always fun to sit somewhere together in the dark. He feels a flutter in his chest and he's looking forward to it as he imagines just laying back with Lance to watch the stars and talk about whatever when he remembers they're not just going to talk about whatever.

They're going to talk about their relationship. Lance is probably going to tell him what went wrong, Keith is probably going to get angry or cry, he never could tell which one it was until it was happening already. He swallows once, pulling off the seatbelt when Lance parks, staring into the sea and watching as the sun starts its steady descent into it.

"So," Lance huffs out, undoing his seatbelt as well, popping open the door. "Let's do this."

They find a spot in the beach, far away enough that the tide won't get them as it comes in but close enough that they still feel some spray coming from the waves that drag against it. Lance takes off his shoes and socks immediately, rolling up the bottoms of his pants to expose his ankles and some more of his skin. Keith turns, pulling his knees upward, resting his forearms against them.

They're silent for at least ten minutes before Lance grabs his attention by wiggling his toes deep into the sand. Keith glances down at them, snorting slightly, trying to avoid paying attention to how Lance is so at home when he's around water. He bites his lip but finally lifts his gaze to Lance's, raising his eyebrows.

"I'm sorry," Lance says, resting his cheek against his knee, keeping his gaze on Keith's. "Again. For not... getting in touch with you sooner. I was only thinking about myself and that was wrong."

"I'm kind of glad you didn't, actually," Keith huffs out in a small laugh, his nose wrinkling. "I probably wouldn't have handled it that well. I was kind of really upset when I heard the news. Even more so because no one could tell me _why_..."

"Yeah," Lance huffs, turning his head away and looking into the sea. "I would probably be upset too if no one could tell me the reason. Um... is that something you want to know still?"

Keith is purses his lips, looking out into the sea again as well, his fingers curling into tight fists as he tries to make a decision. He does want to know. Wants to know how they could ever break apart what they had together but he doesn't know if he can handle it when he's still so in love, when he can't remember experiencing the reasons why. Lance lets the silence linger even though Keith can see he keeps twitching, and blinking, and moving his feet around the sand. He's probably just as nervous as Keith is.

"Yeah," Keith finally sighs, nodding his head and shutting his eyes. "Please, tell me."

"Around some time after our eight month mark," Lance starts with a huff. "You got a letter in the mail with some information you had requested a few years ago. I... I don't know if you ever told anyone else but me about it, and I didn't find out until the day you got the letter and came over to my place to open it up but... It had information about your mom."

Keith sucks in a breath through his nose, he remembers sending that application, remembers the social worker telling him that he shouldn't get his hopes up, and him shrugging about it. The only reason Keith even wanted to find out any information was because he had started thinking about his life and his long-term goals but to get past that hurdle he wanted to clear the air of everything that was still weighing him down.

"And?" he asks quietly.

"And they found her," Lance says, Keith opens his eyes to look at him from the corner of them but Lance is staring out into the sea firmly. "You didn't have that great of a reaction, mostly you were angry about it. I think you kind of hoped she was dead."

"I did," Keith says quietly, shutting his eyes again.

"She's not," Lance says and Keith can hear him dropping on his back. "Um... you decided you weren't going to meet up with her even though they gave you her phone number so you could get in touch. Eventually I convinced you to try it out. I shouldn't have, Keith. I'm still very sorry about that."

"Why?" Keith asks, swallowing back the lump on his throat.

"Because," Lance sighs. "It wasn't a good meeting. I wasn't there with you and you never told me what happened, but I do know it wasn't a good meeting. You came back angry, sad, lost. And you kind of shut me out and I couldn't help you like that."

"Oh."

"You started avoiding me, ignoring my calls... uh..." Lance lets out a long breath through his nose and Keith turns to look at him, his lips turning down into a frown when he sees Lance's face scrunched up, his eyes tightly shut. "And that... I was trying to be patient, trying to wait for you to come to me but you never did and eventually I didn't know where we stood, and it hurt so bad, Keith."

Keith can't bring himself to say anything, hugging his knees tighter against his chest instead. He wants to comfort Lance so badly, apologize for what he did, but he doesn't know how. Doesn't know if it would count now.

"I felt neglected, lonely..." Lance laughs slightly and Keith twists his lips, pursing them together tightly. "Um, I broke it off. It was me."

"Ah," Keith nods, looking out to the sea when he can see Lance peer his eyes open again.

"But you didn't stop me, so," Lance sighs, sitting up, sand dropping away from him with a soft hiss. "So that was that."

"I'm sorry Lance," Keith finally says softly, his chest hollow.

"It's..." Lance huffs, letting out a soft laugh. "I want to say it's okay, but it's not. You don't have to worry about it, though. It's been so long already and you don't remember anything about it so..."

"Still," Keith mutters, shaking his head. "I hurt you and I'm sorry for that."

Lance scoots in close to him after a minute, pressing in until their shoulders and arms and flush against each others, looking at Keith with a small smile, his eyes honest and bright in the moonlight. He nudges into Keith by pressing him to the side, giving him a grin.

"It's okay, Keith, buddy, my man," Lance snorts, making Keith grin. "It's all in the past, but man, I'm guessing that didn't bring back your memories, huh?"

"No," Keith sighs, shaking his head. "I don't know if they'll ever come back."

"If they don't I don't think it would be such a bad thing," Lance sighs, stretching his legs in front of him, his feet moving to a beat Keith can't hear.

"Sure," Keith hums, his fingers itching to reach for Lance's hand. "You say that because you didn't forget how to do your job or everything you learnt at school."

"Keith, no one remembers what they learnt at school and we all just wing it at work," Lance snorts, nudging him again, making Keith nearly stumble onto his side. "Wow, you're weak now."

"I haven't worked out in a few months, lay off me," Keith huffs, shoving back against Lance.

"Nope, you're just weak, finally I've ascended to my rightful place as the superior one of us," Lance says, laughing and sitting straight again after they spend a few moments trying to tip each other over.

An hour later they both slip out of the car at the same time, meeting in front of it. Lance has his hands in his pockets, his shoulders bunched up slightly as he tilts his head to the side, looking down just a bit to Keith. His hair is windswept after the long ride with the windows down, a flush on the tip of his nose and his cheekbones. Keith can't help but think how Lance looks good in any lighting, even the soft yellow of the street lamps.

"Well," Lance says finally, his shoe kicking into the ground. "I... had a good time?"

"Yeah," Keith says, awkward. "Me too."

"I wanted to--"

"I was going to say--"

They both snort when they stop in the middle of their sentence, looking away after their eyes meet before Keith clears his throat and goes ahead because he really rather say what he was going to first. "I wanted to ask if you want to try being friends again," he says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "If... you know, if that's okay with you. I won't take it personally if the answer is no, but I can't really picture my life without you in it. Even just as friends. I... I think maybe I didn't try hard enough to get your friendship back before when everything happened but... I want to try now."

When Keith turns back to look at Lance he finds the latter biting down on his bottom lip, his gaze downward as his eyebrows furrow and his lips twists thoughtfully. Keith recognizes this expression as the one Lance wears when he's trying to make a big decision. Usually he saw it in the middle of a makeup shop while he waited for Lance to pick the next skin care product to try. He used to love watching it closely, trying to pick up the exact shift on his expression that gave way to him coming to a decision.

"I..." Lance trails off, letting out a huff of breath before looking at Keith again. "Okay. We can be friends again. I really did have a good time talking to you again. Uh... I just."

"What?" Keith asks him, tilting his head.

"I just hope you don't shut me out again when your memories come back," Lance says, his nose scrunching up slightly.

"I won't," Keith says, shaking his head. "Promise. If they come back I won't shut you out. I know what happened now, I know how you felt, I won't hurt you again, Lance."

"Woah," Lance says, placing his hand against Keith's shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. "It's okay, tone it down. I believe you. There's a new space exhibition opening up next weekend at the museum. Do you wanna go check it out together?"

"Yeah," Keith says, nodding. "Sounds good."

"Good," Lance nods, stepping back finally, walking backwards back to the drivers side. "See you then. I'll text you."

"Yeah, okay," Keith nods again, walking backwards himself to the building, not missing a beat or turning away until Lance is finally inside his car, starting it up again.

###

Hunk whistles lowly as Lance steps into the apartment, wiggling his eyebrows and playfully pointing at his wrist as if he were wearing a watch. "Look at the time, young man," Hunk tells him with a grin, nudging him. "Had a good date, I'm guessing? Had to be if it lasted all day."

"I already told you I wasn't going on a date this morning," Lance snorts as pushes past Hunk, sticking out his tongue at him. "I don't know where you got that idea."

"Huh," Hunk hums, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know I guess I just got that vibe from the way you were looking. Not just your clothes but also your entire body language. Okay, so if it wasn't a date then where did you go? Where you running some day long errands?"

"Something like that?" Lance hums thoughtfully, rubbing his chin before shaking his head and collapsing on the couch, shutting his eyes tightly. "If I tell you where I was do you promise not to judge me?"

"I don't know," Hunk says suspiciously, sitting down next to Lance, his body heat radiating even when they're a few inches away from each other. "Is it somewhere really bad? Like a strip club maybe or a fight club or I don't know, hiding a body?"

"You have a huge imagination, buddy," Lance grins, shaking his head and taking a deep breath. "I was with Keith."

"Huh?" Hunk asks almost immediately, grabbing Lance's arm firmly. "What the heck do you mean you were Keith, dude??"

"Yeah, uh," Lance shrugs, pulling his arm away and rubbing it lightly, it didn't hurt but he's feeling slightly judged. "He needed a ride to get his cast removed and I don't know I just agreed to it and after we went somewhere to just talk about you know... what he remembers. He wanted to know what happened between us."

"And?" Hunk prompts him, his eyes still wide.

"And I told him," Lance says finally, scrunching his nose. "And then earlier when I was dropping him off at his place he stopped me and asked me if I wanted to try being friends again and I don't know! I said yes? Why did I say yes...?" Lance trails off, bringing one of his hands up to his mouth, biting down on his fingers, unable to ignore the sudden thumping of his heart. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Wow," Hunk says after a few seconds, patting Lance's shoulder gently. "That is kind of weird that you agreed to it, but I mean if you felt like that was right in your gut you can't really blame yourself."

"Are you kidding me? This is so messed up, he thought we were still together when he woke up, he probably still you know... has feelings for me," Lance says, rubbing his face. "Isn't that _weird_ man? That a huge chunk of his memories are gone and suddenly he has feelings for me again? Just like that? Brains are weird."

"Yeah," Hunk says, nodding and slouching back on the couch as well. "Well... How do you feel?"

"Tired," Lance says, shutting his eyes. "It was a long day. The whole time I was trying not yell in his face, honestly. He just seemed so sincere. And now I can't stop thinking about what's going to happen now that we're... friends again, what's going to happen if he gets his memories back and remembers everything and suddenly cuts me off again. What if I get used to having him around again, Hunk? What do I do then?"

"Dude," Hunk says, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know. I can see how weird this must all be but there's literally never been a situation like this with any of us. Honestly now I only really have two questions for you."

"What's that?"

"Did you miss him?" Hunk asks, his voice quiet.

Lance stays silent, not even having to think too much on the question before the answer is already crowding his mind.

"Yes." Yes, he did miss Keith. He missed him for an entire year and half, missed him after as the presence of a close friend, missed him as his competition and drive to become even better than he already was. He missed shoving each other around and making crude jokes that would look like they were crossing the line for some but just their style when they were together.

"Do you feel relieved?" Hunk asks after. "That you'll be friends again?"

"Yeah," Lance nods, his shoulders sagging from their tense posture, sniffing once before he turns to look at his friend finally. "Yeah, dude. Of course."

"Then just go with it," Hunk smiles at him, shrugging his shoulders again. "Even if Keith gets his memories back... do you really think you two could go back to being on no-speaking terms after building up your friendship again? You're not deceiving Keith, Lance. You're just being there for him while he deals with some crazy stuff. That's what friends do. Plus," Hunk says, rubbing his palms together. "It's one more mouth to feed during game nights. Personally, I'm quite happy. I missed Keith too."

"You could have still hung out with him..." Lance mutters, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout.

"No, buddy," Hunk shakes his head. "Not the way you were acting. You gave Pidge the silent treatment for two weeks straight when she told you she wasn't going to pick sides."

"I was really offended she didn't pick me right away!" Lance huffs, standing up and pointing an accusing finger to Hunk. "Doesn't mean I actually meant it. I just wanted her to confirm I was most important to her but she chose Keith, dude."

"You're just proving my point," Hunk snorts at him, shaking his head.

"Whatever," Lance huffs, biting his lip lightly and rubbing his eyes slowly before his phone starts buzzing in his pocket. He pulls it out and glances at the screen, frowning when he sees Keith's name on the display. Hunk peers over his shoulder, a small smile on his lips as he motions for Lance to answer. "Hey, Keith. What's up? Forgot something in the car?"

"Uh, no," Keith's voice comes back soft, there's some hesitation in his tone but it doesn't linger long before he's talking again. "I know you said you would text me but... there's still a conversation between us on my phone and I'm not sure if I'm ready to read it yet."

"Ah," Lance says, his throat dry suddenly as he sits up. "I mean..."

"Just give me a call instead, please, at least for now," Keith says quickly.

"Okay, sure," Lance nods, humming softly his agreement. "I'll do that until you say otherwise."

"Cool, thank you," Keith says with a relieved sigh and it makes Lance snort. "Well, talk later then. Goodnight."

"Yep, goodnight," Lance tells him, pulling back his phone with enough time to watch the call end before he suddenly feels Hunk's weight on him, his big arms wrapping around his shoulders and back.

"You are so brave," Hunk tells him, sniffling. "If it's too much tell me and I'll make Keith back off."

"No, dude, it's fine," Lance huffs, grunting as he tries to struggle out of Hunk's hold briefly before he finally caves in and snuggles closer to him. "Everything is okay."

"Everything is okay," Hunk nods, their cheeks pressed together, echoing his sentiment.

###

They don't have to wait too long before they're in the same space again. Keith still hasn't returned to his job and asked his boss to find a replacement for now as he waits for his memories to come back, regretfully telling him he can't do a job he doesn't remember how to do. His brain reset all the way back to when he was still taking classes, dying every night as he tried to absorb all the information in his textbooks and juggled essays and extra assignments on top of it.

So he's tagging around a lot with Pidge who is already out of school and making money by the tens of thousands with some app she built that helps people with... actually he stopped listening once she got into the internal details of it so he doesn't really know what Pidge's app does. He does know, however, that she still spends a lot of time in libraries digging through databases and making notes into her laptop with quick fingers.

Lance joins them during one of these sessions, showing up at their table with three drinks, sliding in next to Keith easily and pulling out the green matcha drink from the cup holder, placing it in front of Keith and handing him a straw before he teasingly wafts the smell of a warm cup of coffee at Pidge's nose. She looks up at him, annoyed before she smiles wide and takes the drink carefully, pausing long enough from her work to take a few sips with her eyes shut.

"Didn't think you would come today," Pidge tells him after a few minutes of nursing her drink.

"I come every Wednesday!" Lance says with a gasp, leaning his elbow on the table as he sips at his own drink. Keith watches as he sticks his finger inside the lid and sucks on the whipped cream he catches on it. "What's up, buddy? Do you not like that anymore?"

It takes him a second before he reacts and pushes the straw out of it's cover, shaking his head and sticking it into the drink before taking a sip. "I still like it, thanks."

Lance nods at Keith, leaning closer to the table until his chin rests against the surface of it, his fingers tapping along the side of his cup, the condensation making his fingers slippery. Keith can't help himself from staring as he keeps his straw in his mouth, taking small sips, trying to savor it because Lance gave this to him. Lance thought about him as he headed over to check on Pidge. And he didn't have to but he did it anyway, included Keith because they're friends again despite everything that happened.

Which Keith still doesn't know the full details of, he's managed to get some more stories from Pidge and Shiro but it looks like he literally shut himself away after the break up. Pidge told him it took a while before she finally got him to come out to each shitty nachos with her at the mall. He gives Lance a small smile when their eyes meet before he turns back to the book he was flipping through, it's has some alien conspiracies and blurry photos so despite the fact that he usually knocks out when he goes to the library with Pidge, today he's actually engrossed in this book.

Lance scoots his chair closer, his chin resting next to the book as he peers into it. He snorts and sits up, his arm against the armrest of Keith's chair, pointing with his free hand to a photo that's mostly just a dark silhouette against a bright background.

"Keith," Lance tells him and Keith scrunches his nose, already preparing to defend himself. "Don't tell me you actually believe this stuff."

"You know I do," Keith rolls his eyes, looking away.

"Uh, yeah, and obviously I do too but you have to think more deeply about it," Lance says, shaking his head and tugging on the book until it's in between the two of them, grabbing one of the pencils on the table and circling the photo with the eraser end, tapping the book lightly. "Do you really think aliens are stupid enough to let themselves be photographed, Keith? With their insane intelligence?"

"Do you really think aliens are stupid enough to not fuck around with humans, Lance?" Keith retorts, snatching the pencil from him and tapping it against the page. "They're out there, man. And the ones we've managed to experiment on were probably children. _Children_."

"Oh my god," Lance says, his eyes widening as he looks at Keith in disbelief. "You can't be serious! Why would they let children come on expeditions to outer planets and galaxies? Also you say we like you've been part of those experiments."

"One day I will be," Keith tells him, flicking Lance's forehead and snorting when he reels back, rubbing at his forehead and looking at Keith with disbelief.

"Stop, you're shaking the table," Pidge tells them in a voice that's trying too hard to be tight.

Keith turns to look at her and notices the small smile she's wearing as her eyes stayed focuses on the laptop screen in front of her. He pulls the book back in front of him and Lance tugs it back to the middle, flipping the page to an illustration and the section of testimonials from victims that have been abducted before.

"If I ever got abducted by aliens I would tell them my insides were made of acid and if they tried to touch they would melt and die terribly," Lance says solemnly, shaking his head.

"What if they tell you they're immune to acid?" Keith asks, snorting.

"I don't know what to tell you, buddy," Lance says, shaking his head and sitting back, grabbing his drink again and holding it against his chest as he takes a sip. "I would just hope it ends quickly."

"Tsk," Keith says before he's laughing quietly, his shoulders shaking, pushing the book away from him as he leans back on his chair, his head tipping over the back of it, hair dropping with him. "I can't believe you're hypothetically stressing about this, Lance, really."

"Valid concerns," he hears Lance mumble and turns his head to look at him, noticing the pink dusting over the top of his ears as he keeps his gaze fixed in front of him, pulling the straw into his mouth again to take another sip.

Pidge groans next to them and they both turn to look at her, watching as she rises from her chair, joints popping as she stretches and cracks her fingers. She finally stops after a full twenty seconds and rests her hands against her hips, looking at Lance and Keith with narrowed eyes.

"Done?" Lance asks, sitting up as well and she nods, closing her laptop and stacking the books and sliding the papers she had surrounding her into a backpack.

When they step out into the sunlight both Keith and Pidge grunt, flinching and covering their eyes from the brightness of it all suddenly. Lance is laughing next to them before he wraps his arm around Pidge and motions for Keith to follow them. He feels a little sharp tug in his heart because usually he would be the one Lance wraps his arm around but he ignores it as he walks after them, catching up.

"You two are like vampires. Hungry?" Lance asks as he looks down at Pidge, ruffling her hair and pulling her closer against his side.

There's that pinprick of jealousy rising in Keith's chest and he takes longer strides so he can walk next to Lance, looking around him at Pidge who is already scrolling through her phone, her glasses back in place.

"Not really," Pidge mutters, shaking her head, some of the longer locks of her hair shaking loose from Lance's arm.

"I think you are," Lance tells her and turns both of them at the same time into a buffet. "Come on, my treat. You gotta eat something."

"I can pay for my own meal, Lance," Pidge says with a roll of her eyes but walks inside the buffet anyway after Lance opens the door for them and motions with his arm saying 'ladies first'.

"Oh, I know Miss Almost-A-Millionare," Lance scoffs, walking in after Keith goes inside and signaling to the hostess that it's three of them, following her to a booth where she takes their drink orders before stepping away. "But it's still nice to pay for your friends, don't you think?"

"Are you trying to get _her_ to pay?" Keith asks, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smile as he walks past both of them to grab a plate from the giant stack next to the food, immediately starting to pile random pieces of food he wants to try on it.

"She has the means, Keith," Lance says to him across the pizza, pointing a finger before he grabs a slice of pepperoni and turns away to where the chicken wings and Asian dishes are.

"It's true," Pidge says, nodding as she ducks under Keith's arms, walking straight to the dessert section and stacking jello and fruits and pieces of cake on her plate.

"You need to eat real food, too," Lance says when they all gather back at the table, glaring at Pidge.

"Hunk would slap you if he heard you say that," Pidge tells him, her voice dead serious as she gestures at the plates before them. "He would shame all of us for eating here and you know it."

"Don't tell him," Lance says, looking around the table and pointing at both Keith and Pidge with a wooden chopstick. "If this gets out I will end you. I'm looking at you, Keith."

"What?!" Keith huffs, his voice breaking slightly and going higher in that way it usually does when Lance says something outrageous about him.

"Yeah, Keith," Pidge laughs, pointing at him as well with her fork. "We all know you're the snitch here."

"Unbelievable," Keith huffs, shaking his head.

###

"Hey Pidge," Keith says once they're back at Keith's place, her legs across Keith's lap as she types on her phone.

"Mhm?" Pidge hums, wiggling her toes in her socks.

Keith swallows once around the sudden lump in his throat, trying to gather the courage to ask what he's been wanting to ask since they hopped out of Lance's car once he dropped them off.

He's feeling pathetic but the familiarity between her and Lance had his stomach dropping every time they shared an inside joke or Lance reached out to touch her casually. And Pidge who always used to shrug stuff like that way didn't move away from Lance, only gave him looks and rolled her eyes.

And Keith knows it's a bit unfair because she has been really comfortable around him as well, giving him hugs every time they see each other, resting her head on his shoulder, or leaning against him while they play video games. He knows that there's been a shift in Pidge and that now she's more open and friendly, at least with them but... still.

"Did you and Lance ever uh..." Keith gestures with his hands slightly, looking away when Pidge snaps her head up to look at him. "You know... date?"

"What?" Pidge asks, her voice slightly flat.

"It's just that you two look... really comfortable with each other," Keith tells her, finally looking back, his heart against his throat.

Pidge's expression isn't giving anything away, she sighs and pushes her glasses back over her head, her bangs following to tuck underneath them. She opens her eyes and looks at him, shaking her head slowly.

"No, Keith," Pidge says, sitting up and pulling her legs from his lap to hug them to her chest instead. "Nothing like that ever happened or could ever happen between the two of us. Uhm... did it make you uncomfortable earlier?"

Her eyes are slightly tense as she looks at Keith before her gaze drops, her shoulders slumping with her and Keith immediately sits up, his hands raising on their own and insides fumbling as he tries to think of what to do to comfort Pidge instead.

"I don't want to make you feel bad, Keith," Pidge tells him, clearing her throat and looking up. "I know you probably still have some feelings for Lance because of... well everything that happened and my friendship with all three of you has changed a bit but if this is making you sad or uncomfortable you have to tell me. I don't want to hurt you just because Lance and I are closer to each other. He's like... a big brother. You all are."

"It's fine," Keith chokes out, shaking his head quickly and letting Pidge grab his hand, squeezing back. "It's just... yeah you're right. I was feeling a bit jealous and sad earlier and even right now but, I know I don't have the right to feel like that so all of this is... just really weird and difficult."

He ends his little speech with a breathless huff, dropping his hand when Pidge lets go. She's giving him the type of look that says she doesn't really believe him but she lets it drop anyway, laying back down over the touch, her feet back on Keith's lap.

"Keith," she says after a long silence of them scrolling through their phones. " _Do_ you still have strong feelings for Lance? Or I guess... well to me technically your feelings would be back but--"

"Yeah," Keith huffs, shutting his eyes.

"Should you be around him, then?" Pidge asks.

"I want to be," Keith says, turning his head to look at her. One of her eyebrows is quirked slightly, her eyeliner smudged on the corner of her eye. "I can handle myself."

"Would you date him again?"

_Yes._

"I really doubt making a decision like that is ever going to come up," Keith snorts, opening up his text messages when he sees a notification from Shiro.

Pidge hums and leans back again, humming softly to herself as she goes back to scrolling through whatever it is she's looking at in her phone. It must be something funny because she cackles randomly, disturbing the comfortable silence that keeps settling between them.

The little knot in Keith's chest is long gone but resurfaces when he scrolls back down to the end of his text threads and finds Lance's name waiting for him at the bottom. He doesn't know why he hasn't had the courage to open it yet, just knows that every time he looks at it he has the urge to throw his phone out the window and be rid of it forever.

He's not like that, though. He knows that eventually he's going to find the courage to open the chat and whatever he finds in it he won't like. And he can't add the confusion reading the messages will bring him, can't imagine getting defensive and sad over something that he doesn't remember happening. So he ignores them because he refuses to open or delete the entire thread. There has to be a good reason, though, a good reason why he hasn't upgraded his phone, why he's kept the messages at the bottom of his list.

He just doesn't know what it could possibly be.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so nervous about posting this because i've been working on it for like a month omg. but i hope you guys enjoyed it and keep looking out for it! it's going to have maybe three parts?? at the rate it's all fleshing out that's what it looks like but it might just be two.
> 
> i'm on twitter [@starlnce](https://twitter.com/starlnce) if anyone wants to follow and hear about updates.♡♡♡
> 
> yall omg i was reading over this and i missed one of the shiro to shirt autocorrects. im dying.
> 
> additional comment... thank you so much for the great response to this. i'm honestly so shocked ;u; i didn't expect it to get this much love overnight but i'm so grateful ♡.


	2. part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don’t rush, there are things I haven’t told you yet  
> After we fall asleep, today will become yesterday  
> Just keep staying by my side  
> [눈(SNOW) - Zion.T (feat.이문세)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7V77p1Jrw)

"Keith," Shiro says, crossing his arms as they stand in front of the store.

"Shiro," Keith retorts, crossing his arms as well, giving him his best blank expression.

"Come on, you need new clothes," Shiro continues. "I looked into your closet and you still have clothes from when you were nineteen. Get it together."

"If it fits it's fine!" Keith huffs, turning his head away. "I'm not going inside."

"You know what," Shiro says, uncrossing his arms and taking a few strides to stand in front of Keith, grabbing him by the shirt and dragging him in until he can pull back at the collar of his shirt. "You don't need to come inside with me, I'll just get you whatever I want and you're going to like it."

"Shiro, what the heck!" Keith shouts, his voice going a pitch higher near the end, squirming around to no avail in an attempt to get away from Shiro as Shiro pushes him and turns him around, grabbing the back of his jeans and pulling back the hem of it to look at the tag in there as well.

"Alright, got it," Shiro says, dropping Keith and laughing as he watches him stumble before he's upright again. Keith can feel his cheeks burning up, is sure they're bright red in embarrassment and people are _staring_. "Are you sure you're a medium for your shirts, the one you're wearing is looking a little bit tight."

"Yo-" Keith starts but Shiro cuts him off, waving his hand around.

"And those jeans, are you sure you don't want to go up a size? They're really tight, Keith, are you even letting your blood flow naturally through your body? You know, that might be why you're not getting your memories back. You're not letting enough blood up to your brain."

"Oh my god, can you stop?" Keith hisses, crossing his arms. "This stuff fits me fine! I don't need new clothes!"

"Just remember when I step out of this store that you had the opportunity to choose your own clothes," Shiro tells him, pointing his finger at Keith before he walks inside the store.

Keith is mortified, he can still feel a few stares but he doesn't have it in him to tell anyone to mind their own business. Instead he's looking around frantically, trying to find somewhere to sit or hide while he waits for Shiro to come outside. When the people that had been around them finally move on Keith walks over to a kiosk that's boarded up. There's some bright colored phone cases behind the chainlink and he steps closer to take a look.

His phone didn't have a case right now and it's not like he can buy one from here when the place is shut down but he starts to wonder if he even needs one with all the case technology these are claiming. Drop tested? Air cushion technology? His phone already survived a traffic accident without a scratch.

He's about to walk away when he sees him. A flash of Lance, his figure unmistakable. Keith looks closer, smiling a bit, already ready to walk over and say hello but he stops short when he sees a girl pop up on the other side of Lance. She's saying something to him and Lance is rubbing at his chin thoughtfully, shrugging one of his shoulders with an easy smile.

Keith dives back behind the kiosk.

Lance is on a date, that's the only conclusion Keith can come to. It makes sense and he hates it because he's been watching them for the past ten minutes and Lance has been holding her hand for five. He can feel that jealous ache in his chest, heartbreak bursting forth and clawing out of it just like it did when they hung out with Pidge except this time it's a million times worse because this is _real_.

It's real in the way Lance quickly swipes his card to pay for their ice cream, in the way he's holding the multiple colorful bags from different stores in his free hand, in the way they lean into each other's personal space, how comfortable they look. The smile Lance is wearing...

Keith turns away when she pushes upward on the tips of her toes and Lance leans down with no hesitation. He crosses his arms over his chest, blinking quickly to stop the tears, his insides squeezing painfully, breath coming short suddenly, fingers curling into tight fists when he feels a rush of jealousy and anger. He just wants to go home.

The worst part is that he can still see her. Can still see her long blonde hair, so long that the tips of it are touching against her lower back, her dainty pink nose and cheeks. He bets she has eyes as blue as Lance's. Or maybe green. Definitely not dark like his own.

She's perfect. Just the type of girl that was suited for someone as handsome and tall as Lance. The type of girl he was always mooning after when they were teenagers. Back then they probably ignored Lance because he hadn't grown into himself but now... damn it, now Keith bets every time Lance flirts with someone new he always gets good results. Even if he uses his shitty pick up lines.

And there's probably more to her than just her appearance. She seems kind, sweet, like a great listener, good with people, probably does charity work and donates money to organizations she believes in every month. She's definitely nothing like Keith, not a slob at times, or angry, or closed off, unfriendly, rude, blunt.

Keith lets out a breath through his nose when he can feel the tears starting to prickle at the corner of his eyes again and he stares stubbornly at the entrance of the store Shiro is inside of. Willing himself to keep his eyes from wandering around the glass just to see if he can catch Lance's reflection on it.

Shiro comes out of the store finally, bearing a few bags full of clothes he bought for himself and for Keith. He's about to say something when he notices the expression on Keith's face and his immediately shifts to one of confusion and concern. Then he's sitting next to Keith, his arm draping around his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay," Shiro tells him, giving him a firm squeeze.

"When?" Keith asks, shutting his eyes and letting out a slow breath. He can hear Lance's laughter even from where he is. He thinks he can see it in his mind's eye, gliding happily like a seal through water around his head, bouncing into every corner of his mind.

"Soon," Shiro says and Keith looks to him, finds that patient smile he reserves just for Keith and the tension on his shoulders immediately drops away. "Should we go?"

"Yes," Keith nods. "Please."

Really Keith isn't surprised at how intuitive Shiro is, he stands and looks around only once before he's lifting Keith by his arm and pulling him around and across a crowd of people. Keith squeezes himself closer against Shiro's side because he truly hates walking through crowds. They make it out to the entrance they came in from in a few minutes, Keith somehow holding on to one of Shiro's bags while Shiro fiddles around in his pockets for the keys to his car.

When they're finally inside of it he turns to Keith with a raised eyebrow, his lips set into a soft and understanding smile. Keith sighs, squeezing his eyes shut firmly before he meets Shiro's gaze again, unsure.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shiro asks him, his hand reaching out to press firmly against Keith's forearm.

"It's really not a big deal, Shiro," Keith tells him, shaking his head. "So he has a girlfriend... whatever."

Shiro raises one of his eyebrows, his head tilting slightly in a way that makes Keith think of a dog. Shiro squints at him and Keith huffs because he knows Shiro is trying to look through him, past all of those self protective layers Keith has on just so he won't burst out into tears over something like this. Something he knew was a possibility, something he hadn't asked Lance about yet because he didn't know if he was allowed to know, if Lance would even feel comfortable sharing details about his personal life like that.

"Are you sure?" Shiro asks, pulling his hand back and all Keith can do is nod.

Hollow feeling in his chest be dammed.

###

It's... awkward. They've been at the exhibition for the past thirty minutes now and Keith hasn't said a word. Lance wrinkles his nose as he watches Keith lean close to the description that accompanies a photo of Earth and he feels annoyed now because that's the third time Keith has read it and he probably has it memorized by now. What with his stupidly good memory, ignoring the fact that right now his memory definitely isn't working with him, that is.

"Mhm," Keith hums and Lance shakes his head, walking up to him when Keith moves on again to look at a model of a tiny space ship.

Maybe Lance was wrong to ask Keith to this thing, it would have been different in the past, the two of them would have been arguing about which one of them would make the best pilot and getting into an in-depth discussion about what happens when you fart in space. Keith is ignoring him right now, though, has been since they met up at the entrance of the museum. He even bought his own ticket when Lance had been hoping he could pay for it. Whatever.

He knows there has to be an explanation for the way Keith is behaving but he just doesn't want to dig too deep into it, doesn't want to prod at him when Keith clearly doesn't want to talk so instead he drags his feet behind Keith, stays a ways back or steps in close depending on whether or not he wants to look closer at what is on display. When they're nearing the hands-on activities Lance finally has enough. He waits until the family in the room with them has moved on before he steps in front of Keith, blocking his way.

"Aren't we going in there?" Keith says, his eyes staying leveled on Lance's chin.

"Oh, so you _can_ talk," Lance replies with a snort, rolling his eyes as he places both of his hands against his hips.

"What do you mean?" Keith asks, looking up at Lance. His stare is blank, not even the slightest bit confused which lets Lance know that Keith knows what he's doing. He's just choosing to do it.

"Keith," Lance sighs, his shoulders slumping. "Why are you ignoring me? Are you upset about something? You know you can talk to me about it, right? Even if it's about me, dude, I'm here for you. I thought we were going to have fun here but you're shutting me out and you promised you wouldn't do that. I thought maybe you would want to catch up with what I've been doing, with how my life has been going but... I don't know, maybe this was a mistake."

A choked noise comes out of Keith and Lance watches as his hands rise and he reaches out for him before they snap back to his sides. Lance looks up at him curiously, tilting his head to the side, his brows furrowing together because Keith looks... strange. His lips are pursed together tightly, eyes squinted shut slightly, cheeks flushed but Lance knows this type of blush. Recognizes it as one that is guilty and little bit angry.

Lance is bracing himself for a fight, getting ready to shout back louder than Keith but the fight suddenly leaves Keith as abruptly as it came and he looks up at Lance instead. Lance is briefly caught in his eye lashes, the shiny sheen of his eyes, ones with a color that Lance still doesn't have the name for. He feels like his heart has dropped to his stomach but he acts quick in masking it, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away from Keith.

"Lance," Keith says and it almost tempts Lance into looking over. "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to do that, I just... didn't have a great day yesterday and I guess some of that is still lingering right now."

"Oh," Lance says, glancing back to Keith with a nod before motioning for them to move to the next room. "Do you want to talk about it, maybe?"

"I don't," Keith shakes his head, taking a deep breath. "Sorry. It's not even that important."

"Keith, if you're feeling upset about it then it is important. And you don't have to tell me but if you ever need some advice just let me know. I'm loaded with a lot of wisdom, y'know?"

"Sure," Keith snorts, looking at the entrance for the anti-gravity simulator before turning his head to Lance. "Whoever gets dizzy first has to pay for lunch."

"You're on," Lance cackles, his voice bouncing off the walls and a couple ahead of them looks back to him in alarm and Lance looks at Keith who is staring at him with a huge grin.

"That's new," Keith says, stepping into the chamber and waiting until Lance is next to him before they take the first step inside.

"I did some LARPing with Hunk last year," Lance huffs, already feeling wobbly on his legs as they go through the chamber, watching as the walls turn around them at random in an attempt to make them feel weightless. "They asked me to be the rogue character."

"Did you wear a costume?" Keith grins, looking back at Lance and the asshole isn't even stumbling a little bit, looks right at home as he takes quick and nimble steps.

"Yeah, I did," Lance scoffs, gripping onto a handlebar tightly when the room spins again. "And I looked _amazing_."

He can hear Keith mumbling something but it's too low for him to catch and it doesn't come up again because he stumbles into Keith's back, lurching them forward and out of the chamber. They stumble around against the railing outside and one of the employees is holding out her hands in a weak attempt to help them but Keith straightens up first, drags Lance up and places his hands firmly on Lance's shoulders to weigh him down.

"Guess I win," Keith tells him with a small smile and Lance huffs, pushing past him with a pout, his heart hammering in his chest and the butterflies flapping in his stomach only make him feel confused. And scared.

When they finally make it to the souvenir shop inside the museum Lance has almost reached out for Keith's hand a total of five times, once they even brushed fingertips but Lance ignored it, pretended he didn't feel it and lifted his hand quickly to point at some moon rocks on the other side of the room.

It's embarrassing. This isn't a date, he's acting like an idiot. They're strictly friends now, tentative ones at that. Lance has to be so careful around Keith, he still doesn't remember anything. He's watching as Keith spins around a postcard holder, picking up a few before he sets them down and moves on to look at the glow in the dark star stickers.

"Oh," Keith mutters, picking up a packet, holding a hand against his forehead suddenly as his face scrunches up in pain.

"Keith?" Lance asks, stepping closer to him, leaning down to try and get a better look at his face but Keith's expression relaxes slowly and he looks up to meet Lance's eyes.

"Did we ever... paste stickers like this on your bedroom ceiling?" Keith asks, licking over his lips slowly and Lance clears his throat, standing upright again.

"Uh, yeah," Lance says, laughing and grabbing the packet from Keith's hand. "Yeah we did, that was... I mean it was a long time ago, maybe uh... like around our ninth month? You remembered that?"

"Yeah," Keith mutters, rubbing his arm, his gaze flitting downward. "I remember you trying to put a chair on top of your mattress to reach the ceiling."

"Oh god," Lance huffs, shaking his head quickly.

"And nearly falling and me saving you and then holding you up while you stuck the stickers up into the shapes of your favorite constellations."

"I still cannot believe your upper body strength," Lance mutters, crossing his arms.

"You're just very light," Keith tells him, reaching over to grab the star stickers from Lance. "Are you getting anything?"

"Uh..." Lance looks around quickly, snatching a plushie of the moon from the wall and shaking it around. "Yep, this. I'm getting this."

"I got it," Keith says, grabbing the plushie and walking past Lance before he has the chance to protest.

Lance watches Keith from a distance as he walks straight to the cashier, reaching into the back pocket of his jeans to grab his wallet. The girl behind the counter is trying to make conversation with him but Keith only nods and doesn't say anything to whatever she's asking him. She gives up eventually, handing back his change and a plastic bag with their items inside.

Lance might have said something before, called him an unfriendly brat, or told him he's really dense when it comes to certain things but instead he accepts the plushie Keith holds out to him in the bag, the star stickers already tucked inside Keith's wallet.

"Thanks," Lance mumbles quietly, leading the way to the exit.

###

"I mean," Lance continues as he twirls his fork around on his plate but Keith can only stare at Lance as he continues to talk. He's been running his mouth for the past twenty minutes without pause but Keith doesn't hate it. In fact Lance has his undivided attention, has him laughing at the right moments, smiling as he goes down a line of embarrassing moments Keith missed out on after their break up.

Keith can't help but soak all of it in, even the small details Lance peppers his conversation with like how he had cried during the ending of a movie or when he found a lost dog and returned it without taking the reward money. Keith hears him talk about his graduation, about all the small temp jobs he went through before he found a place that locked him down and valued him as an asset.

"Cool," Keith says when Lance lulls into silence for a moment. "I wish I could tell you stuff about me but..." he knocks the fork he's holding against his skull gently and Lance laughs, their feet kicking together briefly before Lance mumbles a quick apology and scoots his chair back just a bit.

"So," Lance says, stabbing into a piece of chicken. "I know you don't remember anything but has Shiro said anything to you? Pidge?"

"They don't know that much, just," Keith shrugs. "Simple things. Like when I go to the gym or how many overtime hours I was working."

"Pidge mentioned some guy," Lance says suddenly and Keith freezes as he reaches for his drink. "I guess maybe you had some boyfriends?"

"Uh," Keith shakes his head quickly. "I don't think so... I don't know."

"I feel kind of bad for them if you did," Lance tells him, his tone is casual but he hasn't looked up to meet Keith's gaze once since he brought it up. "They could be frantically looking for you or something, you know? Worried?"

"Me?" Keith laughs, wrinkling his nose. "No, Lance, trust me. If there are a few ex-boyfriend's out there I really doubt they're worried about me. No one has contacted me yet." Which is a lie but Lance doesn't need to know about his weird friends with benefits relationship. Keith still can't believe he agreed to something like that.

"Oh," Lance mutters, chewing slowly as the silence stretches between them.

Keith knows what he wants. Lance wants him to ask. And Keith really doesn't want to, specially after what he saw the day before at that huge mall but he also doesn't want to seem closed off, doesn't want to come off like he doesn't care about Lance. He shuts his eyes, takes a deep breath, braces himself because he knows he can do this if he tries hard enough. He knows he can get himself through this conversation without crying.

"What about you?" he says when Lance swallows. "Any relationships?"

"A few," Lance says, nodding his head slowly. "I'm actually kind of seeing someone right now."

 _I know_ , the words crawl up to the tip of Keith's tongue but he doesn't say them, instead he raises his eyebrows, circling his fork in the air once in a motion for Lance to continue even though Keith wishes he wouldn't.

"Her name is Nyma," Lance continues, nodding his head, a small smile on his lips and Keith tries not to let out a shaky breath. "She's really great. We've been dating a little here and there for about three months."

"So she's not your girlfriend?" Keith asks, surprised at how leveled his voice is.

"Not yet, I guess," Lance nods, rubbing his nose with his wrist, shy.

Not yet. Of course it's a not yet, Keith should have known. He looked so happy standing next to her, holding her hand, buying her things. He didn't watch them kiss but he bets Lance likes doing that with her as well. They probably hang out together at his place, curl up on his bed to watch movies or just talk quietly to each other.

"She sounds great," Keith huffs, stabbing his fork into his plate with a bit too much force. "Real charming."

"I think you would really like her," Lance tells him with a small smile and Keith can't help but return it, his chest squeezing tight.

###

Keith remembers their goodbyes from before. Remembers standing close together, their pinky fingers hooking close when they finally managed to detangle their fingers from the hold they were in just enough. Keith remembers the two of them taking a small step closer, their eyes connected, smiles mirroring each other's. He remembers Lance cupping his cheek gently, his thumb brushing against Keith's bottom lip and cheek. Remembers Lance leaning down to slot their lips together in a soft and chaste kiss. Feeling the warm whisper of a goodnight against his lips before Keith pulls back his hand from Lance's only to throw both arms around Lance's neck.

Keith remembers their warm embrace as Lance would wrap his arms around him as well, their bodies swaying slightly before they found the right balance, foreheads knocking together gently before Keith would steal another kiss, and another, and another. Lance laughing quietly, happily. Keith returning that laughter in kind with small chuckles of his own. And he remembers the outside variants as well, sometimes the sound of an owl hooting from its nest, the soft sound of rain around them, or Shiro opening the door to take out the trash before hastily running back inside muttering something about being sorry for interrupting.

Remembers Lance pulling back reluctantly every single time. His hands coming up to hold Keith's face gently, a kiss pressing against his forehead, the tip of his nose, his lips again before Lance moves away. Remembers his smile, his promise to call as soon as he's back home, kisses being blown Keith's way while he runs to his car. Keith remembers the urge to run after him, to ask him to stay.

It's not like that right now. They're back at the parking lot near the museum and Keith is fiddling with the key's to Shiro's car, watching as Lance shuffles around nervously in front of him. Their cars aren't parked that far from each other and Keith doesn't know why but Lance said he would walk him to his car, so here they are, standing in awkward silence.

"Thanks," Keith says and he flinches because the sudden words seem harsh interrupting the quiet that had been lingering before. "I had a lot of fun today. I'm glad we could do this."

"Me too," Lance says right away, nodding.

Keith looks up to him. He can't help but wish things were different. He wants to go back in time and yell at himself for being the idiot that let Lance go. He can't imagine being so stubborn he wouldn't chase after Lance, wouldn't plead with him to stay and make a promise to become a better man for him. He bets they would be living together by now if he hadn't messed up. Right now they would probably be cooped up in their bed, snuggled close, Lance making up stupid jokes that would have Keith in tears because when was Lance not funny.

Instead this is where they are, together in this silence.

"What do you think about doing this with everyone else?" Lance asks him suddenly and Keith raises an eyebrow, his head tilted to the side and Lance grins. "I was thinking maybe we could have a sleep over like in the good old days? Pidge is old enough now that Shiro and Matt won't have to be there ruining the fun by chaperoning and we can all hang out together again! Hunk misses you a lot, dude, it would make him so happy if we did something like that."

"I'd like that," Keith says, nodding slowly. "I miss Hunk too."

"Let's do it then!" Lance shouts, jumps slightly, his phone in his hand suddenly. "I'll start a group chat so we can plan, find out when everyone is free."

"I'm always free now, I don't have a job," Keith says and Lance snorts, stepping close enough so he can knock shoulders with Keith.

"Lucky you," Lance tells him and Keith's phone buzzes in his pocket. He takes it out to glance at the screen and rolls his eyes when he sees the message from Lance.

 _party at our place!!! not tonight, later. sleepover extravaganza by lance and hunk part 50...?_ Lance's text reads.

 **YES** Pidge replies back immediately, the phone buzzing a few more times as she follows her message with keysmashes and emoji's.

Aw yeahh! Hunk sends back, sending a picture of him in his chef hat.

"Does he just have that photo on hand?" Keith asks, snorting.

"Pretty much," Lance tells him with a grin, nudging him again. "Come on, you have to RSVP on the chat too."

I don't think we're at party #50 yet, buddy. This might be party #48 tops.

**hunk you beautiful big man are you taking orders for favorite snacks because if this party doesn't have dunk your own popcorn with at least three different types of cheeses and chocolate i'm not going**

Send in your orders, I'll do my best. Keith is coming too, right? Keith if you're seeing this I miss you! Come to the sleepover extravaganza! We'll even let you put on a scary movie.

"A scary movie, Keith!" Lance tells him and Keith looks up, laughing. "Hunk misses you so much he's sacrificing this for you!"

"Well, can't say no to that," Keith says with a small smile, his fingers tapping over his phone.

_ yeah, i'm in. any chance you can make that bean dip with all the layers? _

Anything for you, Keith!

**i'm bringing the booze.** _NO!_ they all message back nearly at the same time and Lance laughs so hard his voice echoes around the parking lot, making Keith feel warm, his forearm suddenly pressed against Lance's and he doesn't remember how it happened but he's enjoying the warmth that Lance radiates, his happy smile and quiet snickering as he sends more messages to their chat.

_this is strictly straightedge fun._

**lance?? straight??**

_you know what i mean you little gremlin!_

_ shiro doesn't want me drinking yet, also i don't know remember ever drinking so i decided to wait too. sorry pidge. _

**ugh, fine. we'll just get food wasted. i'm counting on you hunk.**

I got you! Seriously, everyone, send in your orders. I'll have everyone's favorites ready for the night. I'm so excited!

_okay, everyone stop texting now, keith is about to drive home and i don't want him sneaking looks at his phone to keep up with the chat._

Keith frowns, looks up to Lance, grins when Lance steps back and salutes him before nudging him over to the drivers side.

"Come on," Lance tells him. "It's getting late and it's a long way home, isn't it? You should get going before it's too late. You can always text back once you get home."

"Yeah," Keith mumbles with a small smile, nodding, wishing he could lean up to kiss Lance just once but he unlocks the car instead and slides inside once Lance has stepped back, letting his window roll down so he can lean out. "See you soon?"

"Ye...yes," Lance nods, the tips of his ears red, his wrist coming up to rub at his nose. "I'll call you."

"Cool," Keith smiles, rolling the window back up again, keeping eye contact with Lance until the window is up completely before moving to pull on his seat belt.

###

He didn't actually mean to open this album but it's too late now. He's curled up in the couch of his living room, scrolling through pictures of him and Keith, sniffling. He gave up on wiping away the tears that keep dragging down his cheeks a long time ago, letting them linger instead as he pulls the blanket he has closer around him, thinking about blowing his nose against it but he doesn't want to wash it later so he keeps resisting, sniffling instead.

"I hate this," he mumbles, pausing at a picture of the two of them in a garden, there's fairy lights strung up over them, glittering as they hold hands, Lance pointing out to some roses and Keith looking over curiously. He doesn't remember who took the picture but judging by the quality of it it was either Shiro or Hunk.

He really blames the last time he hung out with Keith for this, for the sudden pining he's starting to feel. Lance is not sure if Keith is doing it on purpose or if maybe it's just something stupid like muscle memory or maybe Keith is just that good because every single time they've been together Lance has wanted to ask him if instead of being friends maybe he wants to give them a shot again.

Which is stupid because of course this Keith is going to agree to it, going to say yes without any hesitation because Lance can tell he still likes him. Loves him? He's almost kissed Keith in five different occasions and one of them was when they were trying to drag Pidge out of the library once again two weeks ago. They had given up when she snapped at them and said she needed five more minutes. They both knew that meant at least an hour so they had shrugged and decided to explore the library instead.

Lance had been laughing at the description of a book, waving Keith over to look at it and they had stood so close together that when Lance tilted his head to look at Keith all he wanted to do was kiss his brow bone, drop the book in favor of wrapping his arms snug around Keith, tuck his head against his shoulder to press soft kisses against his neck. He jumped back when he realized he had been leaning down and Keith looked up from the book, confused, his head tilting to the side as he watched Lance fumble around before he had turned to put the book they had been snickering at back on the shelve.

"Stupid Keith," Lance mutters, burying his face into the blanket, swiping his thumb over the screen to move on to the next photo. It's taken from above, Keith has his face buried against Lance's collarbone and he's clearly asleep. His face is smoothed over, no grumpy expression on it, instead he looks at peace. His hair is ruffled slightly but Lance can tell it's just from moving around in his sleep. Lance has his fingers curled over the back of hair, his lips brushing against the crown of Keith's head, a small smile on his lips.

"Are you okay?" Lance hears Hunk ask and he looks up. "Why are you crying? Did something happen?"

"I'm fine," Lance says, shaking his head, locking his phone. "Just got a little bit sentimental, bud, don't worry."

"Alright..." Hunk shrugs, smiling a bit at Lance. "I'm going out to meet up with Shay but if you need anything send me a text, alright?"

Lance nods and waits until he hears the door locking from the outside before he unlocks his phone again, moving on to the next photo, his laugh teary as he stares at the photo of Keith kneeling down next to a few puppies from an adoption event. Keith had been hoping he could find a pet dog that day but they hadn't been able to find one that he clicked with just right so Keith had said he could wait for it.

"Good things always come if you wait long enough," Keith had told him, reaching out to hold Lance's hand. "Wouldn't be the first time I waited a while for someone."

"What do you mean?" Lance asked him, squeezing his hand.

"I know if I wait just a bit more I'll find the perfect dog companion," Keith had said, pulling their hands up to brush a soft kiss against Lance's knuckles. "Just like with you."

"Are you calling me a dog?" Lance had teased, watched as Keith's eyes widened and he stuttered to correct himself.

"No...!!" Keith had nearly shouted, stopping and grabbing Lance by his shoulders. "Sorry! I didn't mean it like that just that... you know... I've liked you for so long... and we're finally together. You're my... my soulmate."

"I'm so lucky," Lance had said softly.

_I miss him so much._

A part of Lance is trying to be rational, he just saw Keith the other day, and they were having the sleep over in two weeks but Lance is itching to get in his car and go drop by for a surprise visit. He could bring snacks, or an actual meal because Lance just knows that Keith is definitely not feeding himself as he should. And not only that but if his memories are wiped then that means he doesn't remember how to cook the few recipes that Lance taught him how to cook back when they were dating.

He sits up and looks down at his phone again, switching to the next picture, a hiccup coming out when he looks at the photo of Keith with his sister Veronica. They're both staring each other down across the table, hands grasped on top of it. Keith's sleeve is rolled up and Lance can't help but roll his eyes at the muscle there. Veronica is wearing a tank top but there's that lean muscle that she has visible as well. Lance can tell they're in the middle of their arm wrestling match by the furrow in their brows and he snorts.

Veronica had won that time and when Lance had asked Keith about it later Keith had somberly told him that she was a force to be reckoned with. Veronica had texted Lance that she loved Keith after, that he was good for Lance, that he should bring Keith by as his boyfriend and not just his friend soon so that the entire family could grill him and arm wrestle him as well.

His phone starts to buzz in his hand and he blinks a few times to brush away the tears when he see's Keith's name on the screen. After taking a few quick breaths he swipes at the screen, pulling the phone to his ear and humming softly into it.

"Hey Keith," he says once he's sure his voice isn't going to shake.

"Hey," Keith says back quietly. "I was wondering if you wanted to go get some patbingsu?"

"Sure," Lance smiles. "I haven't had that in a long time, you know? Now if I don't get it I'll be craving it for days. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Yeah, if it's okay with you," Keith says and Lance can hear the smile in his voice.

"It's no problem bab...buddy," Lance says hastily, pressing his hand against his chest when his heart starts racing, his eyes shutting tightly in embarrassment because he almost called Keith _babe_ again and at this point he's not sure how many more times he can get away with it. Keith is dense but eventually he gets it.

"See you soon, then," Keith says before the line clicks dead.

###

"A lot of the condensed milk on that one, please," Keith mutters and Lance watches as he digs into his pocket to grab his wallet. "My friend likes things really sweet."

"I know," the cashier tells him and Keith raises an eyebrow, glancing at Lance.

"Uh..." Keith trails off.

"You guys haven't stopped by in a while huh?" she continues. "We were worried we lost our best customers."

Keith looks a little bit stunned and Lance can't really blame him, he probably doesn't remember how many weekends they spent here eating and kicking each other under their booth's table. It hadn't really been common for them to do this up until the last memory Keith could pinpoint.

"It's better when it's super sweet," Lance tells him, changing the subject, sticking out his tongue and grabbing the spoon and napkins the cashier offers him, handing one over to Keith.

"Sure," Keith tells him, grabbing the tray with both of their shaved ice, walking off in the direction of the booth they always sat on when they came here.

It's strange but Keith always seems to know where he's going whenever they visit places they had been to before. Specially the ones they visited frequently. If Lance thought about it too much though he knew he would grow suspicious of Keith, of whether or not he was just lying to get closer to him again. So he doesn't. Besides Keith always proves that his memories are gone when his expressions at new findings are hilarious to the point that Lance can't help laughing at him.

Once they're sitting down Lance leans over to grab his shaved ice, digging into it almost immediately, scooping up a strawberry slice along with it and popping it into his mouth with a happy hum.

"Lance," Keith says after they've been picking at their own plates quietly, enjoying the company. "Did you get enough sleep last night?"

"Huh?" Lance blinks, putting down the sticky spoon on top of his napkin. "Yeah, why?"

"Your eyes were a bit red earlier," Keith tells him, one of his shoulders pulling up in a small shrug. "It was either that or you were crying before you came over? Are you okay? Did something make you sad?"

"I'm fine," Lance tells him, laughing softly and shaking his head. "I can't believe you were able to pick up on that, though."

"Are you sure?" Keith continues, leaning over the table so close that they are only a few inches away as Keith inspects his face. "You can tell me if something happened. Did you fight with your... your girlfriend?"

Lance sighs, leaning back on the booth, slouching slightly and crossing his arms. He wants to smile when Keith drops back and mirrors his position. Keith probably thinks he stepped over a line now by asking about Nyma but the truth is that Lance is the one that feels guilty. He's watched as Keith has struggled with saying it, the shift of his voice, the sniffles that follow, his quick blinking and looking away.

But Lance knows Keith is trying to be nice, to engage with what is happening even in his love life, even when it hurts, but Lance doesn't like that. Doesn't like watching Keith's shoulders slump, his smile fade away, the furrow of his eyebrows switching from relaxed to jealous and sad.

"No," Lance finally says. "It's not about Nyma."

"Oh... well," Keith glances at him quickly before he sits up again to scoop whatever's left from his shaved ice. "That's good, then."

"Do you want to go watch a movie?" Lance asks, changing the subject, swallowing once to stop the strange tears that keep trying to surface when he sees the way this Keith acts. Still carefree, still content to just be around Lance.

"Sure," Keith shrugs, putting their plates on the tray and getting up, grabbing it and walking off to give back to the staff.

Places like these usually clean up once the customer is gone but Keith had always stood up, returned what they had used personally and mumbled a quiet thank you before he met Lance by the door. It had been something that Lance had found endearing when they were friends and then absolutely charming when they were a couple. He wants to offer Keith his hand but he holds the door open instead and starts listing off the movies he can remember are out in theaters right now.

###

Keith is biting on his thumbnail slightly as he stares up at the menu of the concession stand. Sure, they just ate a giant heap of shaved ice with fruit and syrup twenty minutes ago but as soon as they stepped into the theater the smell of greasy buttery popcorn was calling to him. He squints his eyes at the prices, huffing because he bets they keep raising them by a cent every day. A whole seven dollars for a large popcorn? Is the tub made of gold?

Lance is bouncing on the balls of his feet slightly next to him, looking at the menu as well and taking that long stride forward when the line moves. Keith follows after him, their arms brushing together and if this were the past Keith would probably be tucked under Lance's arm, his hands shoved deep inside the pockets of his jacket as Lance talked his ear off about whatever he did that day.

But, as Keith keeps reminding himself, this is not the past.

When Keith is hugging the big tub of popcorn on one arm, sipping at the icee cup he's holding with his other hand he starts to follow after Lance to their theater but they're stopped suddenly when a big yet soft and booming voice shouts out Keith's name. Keith flinches, stopping and glancing back in a panic before he breaks into a giant smile when he spots Hunk running over, a girl following behind him at a slower pace.

Lance takes the drink and the popcorn from him just in time before Hunk is slamming into Keith, wrapping his big arms around him and lifting him off the ground into a rib crushing hug. Keith lets out a huff of breath, laughing slightly, wishing he could return the hug but his arms are tucked against his side. Hunk sets him down and starts patting all over his shoulders, hair, and face.

"Oh man, I can't believe it's really you, Keith," Hunk tells him, finally pulling back his hands after he squishes Keith's cheeks together. "I missed you buddy. Wow, you look so different. Did you focus on getting more buff all this time?"

"Ah, yeah, sort of," Keith says with a snort, rolling his eyes when Lance immediately starts to complain.

"Hey, how come you never compliment me like that, Hunk, what the heck!" Lance shouts, standing behind Keith.

"Stop glaring, Lance," Hunk says, sticking out his tongue before he reaches over behind him and waves the girl he was with closer. "You remember Shay, right?"

"Um..." Keith looks at Shay, shaking his head with a small smile. "No, I'm sorry."

"Aw, it's fine," Hunk tells him, patting the top of his head gently. "Shay won't take it to heart, she knows about your memories."

"Are you two back together?" Shay asks, her smile and voice polite and Keith's eyes widen, glancing behind him to Lance who is as red as Keith feels.

"No no no no," Lance says quickly, laughing and handing Keith back his popcorn and drink. "Just hanging out."

"Oh, I see," Shay nods politely, her hands tucking behind her.

Lance lets out one of his panicked half giggles and Keith rolls his eyes to the side before he looks closer at Shay. She blinks at him twice before relaxing her stance and meeting Keith's eyes. The thing about it is that something about her does seem familiar. The sound of her voice feels like something he's heard before, her tone polite and sentences always structured carefully. Her skin is a dark and rich brown, her arms and legs are smooth and shiny, clear of any type of body hair. Her hair is short and one side of it is tucked behind her ear, a bobby pin holding it in place. She has large hoop earrings on, a dark red color in the middle of her lips that blends out to her natural color as it goes outward, cheekbones high.

Keith blinks when Hunk's hand waves in front of him and he looks up to him with a raised eyebrow.

"You're staring pretty hard at my girl there, Keith," Hunk tells him, his voice straining to sound a little bit annoyed but mostly he sounds amused and happy.

Keith shrugs, a surge of confidence running through him because he's around two of his friends again. He sips at his icee again before glancing at Shay one more time and turning to Hunk, "What can I say, I like staring at pretty people."

Shay giggles and Hunk gapes at him, Keith hears Lance huff softly behind him and he can picture him rolling his eyes.

"I am certain your memories will return, Keith," Shay tells him with a smile, hooking her arm around Hunk's.

"Why do you say that?" Keith asks, smiling back at her.

"Because this has happened before," Shay says and Hunk nods dumbly next to her.

"Are you sure you don't remember her, Keith?" Hunk asks him but Keith shakes his head, shrugging once.

"Shay is familiar, but I don't remember any of our interactions, sorry," Keith mumbles, feeling self-conscious suddenly.

"What movie are you guys watching?" Lance interrupts, bumping Keith to the side to stand next to him.

"Dogcopter Three," Hunk says and Shay nods next to him. "It's gonna be intense. You guys?"

"Same," Lance says, furrowing his brows. "Should we all sit together?"

"Nah," Hunk shakes his head. "This is a date man, if you guys aren't dating too it'll just be weird."

"True," Lance hums, snapping his finger into a finger-gun and looking at Keith with a smile. "Guess we're on our own, bud. Run, get the seats all the way at the back so Hunk has to sit somewhere else!"

"Unfair!" Hunk shouts but Keith is already turning away, waving at Shay before he picks up the pace and starts jogging so he can get to the back of the theater.

He actually thinks that is the best place to sit down, some people like sitting in the middle but not Keith, also it gives him the best view. Not just of the movie but the people around them. He hears Lance's whoops, the stomping of his feet as he finds the seats in the very middle of the back row and plops down into one. Lance pulls down the seat on Keith's left and they look at each other with a snort as Hunk and Shay finally make it inside, walking straight to the middle row of seats.

Lance shoves his hand into the popcorn tub, grabbing a fistful and leaning back on his seat until he's slouching. The lights dim just a little bit as the previews start. Keith turns his head abruptly when he sees Lance pulling up the armrest between them, his heart starts hammering in his chest suddenly because this is what they used to do before so they could get closer, lean into each other enough that they wouldn't disturb people as they cracked jokes during the movie they watched.

Lance grabs the tub of popcorn from Keith's hands and sets it in between them, pulling off his jean jacket to wrap it around the tub to keep it steady. He looks up at Keith when he's done and smiles, gives him a shrug before he's sitting back again, leaning over enough so he can sip at his drink.

"So what are the Dogcopter movies about? It sounds kind of weird," Keith mutters, reaching for the popcorn and popping a piece at a time into his mouth.

"Oh man! I forgot you missed this whole series," Lance snorts. "I wonder if you even watched them at all."

Keith can't help but stare at Lance as he starts describing the entire series so far. He watches as Lance starts off with the first movie, his gestures grand, smile wide, eyebrows popping up every time he makes the sound of an explosion. He wants to reach over, brush back Lance's curly hair, pinch his cheek, cover his mouth in an attempt to get him to stop talking but instead he just nods along, laughs when Lance turns his voice squeaky and deep depending on who is speaking.

When the lights finally turn off Keith thinks he has a pretty good idea of what the movies are about. Lance reaches into the popcorn every time Keith pulls his hand back, his legs kicking up into the empty seats in front of them and Keith glances at them, furrowing his brow because he had always been just a little bit jealous of how long they seemed, but also he had always liked the fact that they looked so long. It had made tangling legs together with Lance when they cuddled up for a nap really interesting.

So he spends the entire movie slightly hyperaware, wishing he could move the tub to his lap instead, and shift his entire body until he's pressed against Lance's side. Wishes Lance's arm was around his shoulder, that he was rubbing his thumb gently against his arm, that he could feed pieces of popcorn to Lance instead.

"He shoots missiles from his ass," Keith deadpans as the robot explodes.

"Yeah," Lance laughs so hard he snorts a few times and Keith feels his heart do a happy tumble at the sound. "So funny, right?"

"It's hilarious," Keith nods, rubbing his nose when the effects of the explosion finally come to an end. He watches as the dog slowly descends again to stand in front of the girl who immediately crouches down to offer him a treat. She calls the dog a good boy and Keith can't help but shake his head.

"This is kind of ridiculous," he mumbles and Lance is nodding along with him.

They both reach into the popcorn tub at the same time, their fingers brushing together and Lance mutters a quick and mindless sorry as he pulls his hand back and waits for Keith to grab some before he sticks his hand back inside of the tub.

Keith eyes him carefully after the brief exchange, his shoulders slumping slightly because Lance doesn't look even a little bit affected by it. He knows it's unfair to expect Lance to feel anything, specially when he already has a sort of girlfriend he cares about so much but Keith can't help but think that if their roles were switched right now he would be feeling a lot of confusion about the whole situation. Lance had to know how Keith still felt, right? He had to know what all these seemingly innocent days together were doing to Keith's heart, to his hopes.

Or maybe Keith was just being an asshole by expecting anything else from Lance. An asshole for thinking he still had any leverage over any of Lance's feelings.

When the credits start rolling Keith stretches out his legs and arms, sitting up straight again and twisting his torso from side to side before he finally stands up, grabs the popcorn from the nest Lance made it with his jacket, taking the empty icee cup and tucking it inside the empty tub.

He can see Hunk standing up as well, offering his hand to Shay once she's out of her seat as well. He feels just a bit jealous when he watches them make their way out to the stairs leading to the exit, their shoulders brushing together when they walk. He probably would have carried Lance out of here on his back if they were together. They're not though so when Lance stands up he makes his way out of the row of seats behind Keith carefully.

###

They're standing outside the theater waiting on Hunk and Shay so Lance can give them all a ride. Lance looks to the side, sees Keith with his head tilted upwards, eyes on the moon, his hands tucked inside his jacket pockets. There's a soft breeze blowing and it makes Keith shiver, his chin dropping to tuck against his chest, hair swaying for a moment before it settles again and Lance feels is overwhelmed with the urge to hug him close, warm up together.

He imagines the two of them tucked together in a bed, toes poking at each other playfully, foreheads pressed together while they crack jokes about each other. Wants it so badly his heart is aching. Keith turns his gaze to look at Lance and gives him a small smile, it sets his heart racing. Lance smiles back. They both turn to the entrance when they see Shay and Hunk finally coming out the doors, their hands held close together, smiles content.

Lance wishes he could hold Keith's hand.

And then he thinks about Nyma, about holding her hand, about taking her out on dates while they explore their fresh relationship. One that they're very close to making official by how it's been going. At the same time he feels slightly guilty because although he does like her and would have been over the moon before, now that Keith is back everything is changing again, and he doesn't think he can give his all to their relationship if they become an actual couple.

Keith calls out after him, snapping Lance out of his thoughts as he waves Lance over to the parking lot.

Lance really needs to talk to Nyma.

###

"What's up, hot stuff?" Nyma says as soon as she sits down next to Lance.

She's wearing her hair up in a high ponytail this time and Lance thinks it's a cute look on her, smiles when she settles in just a few inches away from him and starts poking around the menu in front of them.

"Not much," he says, leaning his elbow on the table, chin on his hand as she flips the menu around to look at the back of it.

"What did you want to talk about?" Nyma asks, looking over at him when she finally sets down the menu, her head tilted to the side, smile friendly and open.

Lance had thought about this for two entire days, about when the right time to bring it up was but now that he was finally here in the moment his plans flew out the window and he leaned against his palm a bit more heavily because even thought he knew it was the right thing to do he still was nervous about it.

"Nyma," he starts, shutting his eyes briefly. "I've had a lot of fun going on dates with you these past few months but I have to be honest about something..."

"Okay..." Nyma trails off carefully and Lance opens his eyes, looks at her, the furrow of her perfectly filled in eyebrows, the flick of her eyeliner into a crisp wing, the eyeshadow framing her pretty eyes.

"Someone I didn't expect to be back in my life has returned and... well... I'm starting to..." Lance trails off, unsure of how to phrase it, straightening his back as Nyma tilts her head, eyes searching his own. "My feelings for him are returning... and I just don't think it's fair to you if we continue this and... I'm torn between what I feel for you and what I feel for him."

Nyma sits back, reaching for the end of her ponytail and twirling it slightly in her finger, eyes moving away from Lance and to the surface of the table. They sit in silence for a few minutes before she takes a deep breath and looks back to Lance with a nod.

"Thank you for your honesty," she says, a small and sad smile on her lips. "I really like you, Lance. We have fun together but I understand what you're saying. I hope we can remain friends?"

Relief floods through Lance and he nods quickly, moving forward to give Nyma a quick hug which she returns with a soft laugh. When they pull back she tugs her hands up to her chin and pokes her index fingers together once, thoughtfully.

"You know, it's a good thing you brought this up because... I think I might have met someone else I could be interested in too," she says, giving him a wink when the waitress comes by to take their orders.

###

"You've been spending a lot of time with Lance lately," Shiro says, scratching as his stomach as Keith sprawls next to him on the couch of his living room.

"Yeah," Keith mumbles, biting down on the slice of pizza he just got from the kitchen. "So?"

"Don't get too defensive but," Shiro shrugs, looking over at Keith. "Is it a good idea to be hanging around each other so much?"

"It's fine, we're friends," Keith mutters. He already knows where this is going, doesn't need the lecture Shiro is about to go off into but he also doesn't think he can bring himself to tell Shiro to shut up. So he puts the pizza away on a napkin next to him and crosses his arms over his chest, bracing himself.

"I just think maybe you need to give yourself some time and distance from him, Keith," Shiro continues. "You don't even remember why the two of you broke up."

"He told me why," Keith mutters quietly.

"I know that, Keith," Shiro sighs. "Doesn't mean you actually understand it, you don't remember any of the things leading up to it happening. You might come to regret getting so close to him again later on when your memories come back. The two of you can potentially go through more heartbreak because you're being a bit stubborn by spending so much time with him."

Keith doesn't say anything, instead he slouches deeper into the cushions of the couch, his lips twisting to the side. Shiro is right, of course, this could potentially be a huge disaster but at the same time, the things he keeps discovering about his life make him think that maybe growing closer to Lance again is exactly what a Keith with all his memories would want.

"I don't want to see you get hurt again," Shiro sighs and Keith turns his head to watch as he scratches at his jaw.

"I know you're worried about that," Keith mumbles, shaking his head. "But I don't think I'll be upset if I get my memories back. I think Lance has been missing from my life this whole time. I think I need him to be in it. He's like an anchor, Shiro. I look at my apartment and you can't even tell someone lives there."

"I..." Shiro trails off, his brows furrowing together.

"I need stability, friendship," Keith continues. "And Lance can be part of that too now. It doesn't have to be just you and Pidge. I can even reach out to Hunk now too. It's okay if you're not too happy with how I'm handling things, Shiro, but Lance won't hurt me."

"Okay," Shiro nods finally after a long silence, raising the volume of the TV again, settling back.

Keith grabs his pizza and takes a bite as well, rolling his eyes at the cheesy Japanese soap opera Shiro has on.

###

"Amor Prohibido," Lance says, pointing his finger.

"Selena, right?" Hunk asks and Lance nods his head quickly, grabbing the mic from Pidge as she takes out Lance's phone to film him. He quickly glances at Keith who is sitting with his legs crossed over the couch inside the booth they are in. He has a soda in his hand, sipping at it as he flips through the book with the tracks available.

He doesn't think Keith is going to sing anything but it's fun to think that maybe they can watch Keith do a rendition of his favorite punk track or maybe something unexpectedly soft for those that don't him as well as Lance does. He's no stranger to Keith's quiet crooning of love songs, though. Specially when they were sung over the top of his head, against his forehead.

"This is for my America's Got Talent audition tape," Lance jokes and Pidge snorts as she presses record on Lance's phone, Hunk starting the track after. Lance catches sight of Keith lifting his eyes from the book, he has a small smile on, his eyebrow raised. He's probably preparing to be amused by one of Lance's funny performances but Lance doesn't play when it comes to Selena. He probably would have shimmied around with Despacito or something else but right now he's really feeling this song.

He watches the screen for his cue before he turns back to look at the camera of his phone. He was joking about it being an audition tape but he always loved looking back on his videos whenever they decided to come do karaoke, it helped out his self-esteem when he saw the ways in which he had improved. Plus, showing off in a room full of his friends was something Lance was always up to.

Hunk is already shaking the tamborine he grabbed from a box in the room to the beat, nodding his head, his smile huge, bouncing slightly next to Keith. Keith is watching him with that small smile again and it makes Lance's chest flutter slightly. He misses the first few words of the song but catches up quickly, looking away from Keith because he can't take it suddenly singing to Keith about forbidden love, how badly he wants to see him, of love being worth more than money, of not caring what anyone has to say as long as they're sharing time together.

When he glances back to Keith near the end of the song he's shocked to find him mouthing the words, his head nodding, smile a bit wider, open, teeth peeking through. They meet eyes and Keith only grins wider, making Lance stutter over the last verse of the chorus as it loops back one more time.

Pidge stops the recording after Lance bows a few times. Hunk is shaking the tamborine wildly and Pidge is hollering something, Lance can't really understand what she's saying. Keith claps a few times but stops suddenly when Lance shoves the mic at Pidge's hands and walks straight to him. He pushes past Hunk to sit on Keith's other side, peering at his face suspiciously as Keith blinks back at him.

"How did you know the lyrics?" Lance asks and Keith scrunches his nose slightly.

"I don't know, actually," he says with a small shrug. "I think I've heard it before."

"But it's in Spanish, Keith," Lance says and Hunk stands from the couch, already typing some numbers into the keypad to load up his track after Pidge's. "I mean, you can know a song in a different language but not that well."

"I don't know it that well," Keith rolls his eyes and sticks out his tongue to Lance before he looks down at the book again, flipping through it.

"Have you gotten any memories back recently?" Lance asks, glancing over to Hunk when his musical theater track starts.

"Some," Keith sighs next to him. "Nothing too big, though, just small stuff. Like Shiro's birthday party last year, I think? Could have been the one before I guess but I don't really remember it as a whole. More like little moments of what happened during the celebration."

"Oh," Lance nods, looking at Keith again. "What about me? Remember anything about me?"

"It's weird but you're the one I have the most trouble remembering pieces of," Keith sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"Maybe you're just trying to protect yourself," Lance mumbles and Keith hums softly next to him. "I think if I had lost my memories of you it would take me really long to get them back too. There's probably a lot of stuff there that you're not ready to deal with."

"Do you think it would be okay if I didn't remember any of that?" Keith asks him and Lance watches as he bites his lip. "Is it really a bad thing if none of my memories of you come back?"

The truth is Lance had thought about this as well, had turned the idea over in his mind a few times and always came to the selfish conclusion that if Keith getting his memories of Lance back meant that their current friendship would change he didn't want Keith to remember anything. He wanted to keep Keith in his life, had felt like a hole in his life had filled once he accepted Keith's offer of renewed friendship.

And this is what it was all about. Lance had missed this so much, the four of them getting together to do things like this. To eat at random restaurants Hunk had heard good things about, to drink inside these karaoke rooms while someone belted out a terrible rendition of their favorite songs. Lance missed the afternoons in the library trying to annoy Pidge into taking a break and he was way too excited for their sleepover party next week.

He missed Keith's patient smile as he followed him into another one of his random adventures, the way Keith always kept up with him as Lance begged him to come with him to check out a new trail, or climb some mountain. He missed running his ideas by Keith and getting back constructive criticism or a snort at the ridiculous ones.

Without really giving it much thought Lance leans to the side, his cheek dropping against Keith's warm shoulder, stealing his drink from his hand to sip at the straw, wrinkling his nose at the fizzy taste in his mouth suddenly. He feels Keith tilt his head down to look at him but Lance keeps his eyes firm on Hunk dancing around with Pidge while they both shriek into the microphones.

He used to do this way before the two of them were together a part of him is saying while the other reminds him that while that is true it was also one of his classic moves when flirting with Keith.

Keith doesn't move, though, so neither does Lance. Not until Pidge drags the both of them up anyway and shoves the extra microphones into their hands, starting up a One Direction track. Keith pales at the selection but he still speaks the lyrics into the mic with his regular voice when it's his turn, one arm crossed and tucked underneath the one holding up the microphone to his lips.

###

"So you and Lance, huh?" Keith jumps slightly when Hunk speaks up, they're collecting all the dishes together on the table for easier pick-up while Lance and Pidge went off to pay for the session. Keith looks up to Hunk and shrugs one shoulder, shaking his head. "What does that mean?"

"I'm just not sure what you're asking," Keith tells him, his bottom lip jutting out slightly. "Not sure if you're judging just a bit either."

"Judge?" Hunk asks, his shoulders drooping as he looks at Keith and Keith thinks that he probably messed up just a bit but he doesn't linger on the thought too much because Hunk just picks himself back up. "Why would you think that? Have people been judging you and your friendship?"

"Shiro isn't that big of a fan of it right now," Keith tells him, shrugging his shoulders once. "We're just friends, I don't see what the big deal is. I missed Lance a lot, I can tell I did even if I don't remember it. There's no way I could just forget about him so easily."

"It wouldn't be so easily, though," Hunk tells him, his voice dropping and becoming softer. "You guys hadn't spoken in years, Keith. I would have understood if it had just been a few months but you two were literally away from each other for a bit over three years. I'm sure that you missed Lance but you should remember that the two of you are different people now."

"I know that," Keith tells Hunk, shaking his head. "I don't want to think about it too much because if I do I might pull away from Lance and I promised him I wouldn't ever do that again. If I focus too much on it I might find reasons to pull away from all of you again and... you know I've been going through my things in my apartment and I just... know that my life was a bit of a lonely mess after everything that happened. I don't want to go back to living like that, Hunk. I know you're worried about Lance the way Shiro is worried about me but I don't think you should be. Lance has a girlfriend right now and he made it very clear that there is no chance for the two of us."

"He did, huh?" Hunk asks, rubbing at his chin. "A girlfriend."

"Yep," Keith pops his lips at the end of the word, smiling a bit after when he can hear Pidge and Lance arguing about why Lance had to pitch in for half when Pidge was the rich girl here. They both burst through the door, wrestling with each other and slapping each other's arms before Hunk pulls them away.

"I'll pay you back, Lance," Keith says when Lance tries to reach over Hunk's beefy arm to slap at Pidge.

"Didn't know you had a sugar daddy, Lance," Pidge snickers as Hunk lets out a quiet and teasing "ooooh."

"Keith is just a good and fair friend!" Lance scoffs, shoving away from Hunk and crossing his arms, pouting his lips outward and Keith can't help but think how cute it is. "You don't have to do that, by the way, Keith. I'm just kidding around."

He's still so gone.

###

"If you change your mind just call me and I'll come pick you up," Shiro tells Keith as he's climbing out of the car with his pillow, blanket, and overnight bag.

"Shiro," Keith turns to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not ten."

"I'm just saying Keith, if you have a nightmare or get scared of something just give me a call and I'll come pick you up," Shiro continues. "Remember to brush your teeth, say thank you for whatever they feed you, and offer to help with the dishes."

"Oh my god," Keith laughs, closing the door but staying still with his arms crossed when Shiro quickly rolls down the window.

"I love you, Keithy," Shiro tells him, blowing a kiss.

"They grow up so fast," Matt mumbles from the backseat, sniffling.

"You two are weird," Pidge says, kicking the door open to get out after dodging out of a hug from Matt.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow bright and early," Shiro says, waving as Keith shakes his head. "Eight sharp."

"Are you crazy? We're probably going to be _going_ to sleep at that time," Keith tells him. "I'll call you or get a ride from someone else, jeez."

"That's not healthy," Shiro starts but Keith turns away, stomping after Pidge who's already running to Lance's and Hunk's front door, quickly pressing the doorbell.

"Stop!" Lance shouts, opening the door, pulling Pidge's hand away from the doorbell when she keeps pressing it.

"Bye Lance!" Shiro calls out and Lance pokes his head past Keith and Pidge to wave at Shiro awkwardly.

"Come on in," Lance says, stepping inside and waiting until both Keith and Pidge are inside and past the front door hall, closing the door and locking it with practiced fingers. "Okay, well, we don't have any rules except flush the toilet when you finish so... I'm gonna go change into my pj's and be back. You guys wanna change too? You can take Hunk's room, Pidge."

"Yep," Pidge nods, waving her hand as she walks down to the right and slips inside a room.

"Wanna change in the bathroom or my room?" Lance asks Keith, tilting his head.

"Anywhere is fine," Keith tells him, shrugging his shoulder and dropping his blanket and pillow next to the couch before following Lance down the hall Pidge disappeared in.

"We can change in my room, that way you can look at it and judge it in private," Lance snorts, opening the door to his room and letting Keith in first before he goes inside as well, leaving the door slightly ajar. "You did bring pj's right?"

"Yeah, of course I did, this isn't amateur hour," Keith scoffs, dropping his bag from his shoulder and crouching next to it to grab the red pajamas he found in his closet with the lions printed on them.

"Gotta check, bud, you're super dense," Lance tells him, already inside his closet, flipping through the hangers.

Keith turns to face the wall when he catches sight of Lance pulling off his shirt by the back of his collar. He feels his heart stutter slightly when he spots just a bit of Lance's skin around his hips. He swallows once, trying not to clear his throat to draw attention to himself and keeps his eyes on the poster of some concert tour Lance has on his wall, quickly changing into his pajamas.

He turns when he suddenly hears Lance snickering, his brows already furrowed together and stance defensive because he knows Lance is probably going to make fun of the print of his pajamas but instead he snorts when he sees Lance wearing an identical set except his are blue.

"What the..." he laughs but stops suddenly when he gets a flash of a memory, recalls standing next to Lance at the department store, agreeing on matching pajamas when Lance finds the set with the lion print on them. He remembers going back to Keith's house almost immediately and showing Shiro, standing back to back, striking a pose despite the fact that Keith had felt just a little bit embarrassed but he always wanted to indulge Lance.

"I can't believe you still have them," Lance says, walking over and fixing the collar of the shirt.

"You still have yours too," Keith tells him, looking over Lance's pajamas, noticing that they look worn and comfortable unlike his own that were still bright in their color and slightly crisp and new looking.

"Yep, they're really comfy," Lance tells him, nodding and stepping back until he sits on top of his bed, moving to pull off his socks and grab a pair of blue lion slippers from under his bed.

Keith nods, zipping up his bag again once he tucks in the clothes he was wearing into a side pocket, setting it under Lance's desk before standing and wandering around the room. The carpet is soft and fluffy under his feet, a soft lilac color, the walls are a pastel mixture of red, blue, and purple swirling together perfectly. He notices little pieces of Lance's character all of around.

There's a wall covered in photos of his family and friends. Keith eyes linger on one of Lance's siblings, grinning when he sees the how different they look. Veronica has a wide smile in one, Marco and Luis tucked under her arms as they all stick their tongue out at the camera, there's another one of Lance's birthday.

The cake is clearly tres leches, decorated with a few sparkling candles, theres a lot of people around Lance and Keith recognizes a few of them from family gatherings Keith had gone to. He spots himself in a few pictures and his chest aches slightly because Lance might have been really mad at him this whole time but he still didn't pull Keith from his walls, still saw him as a part of his life.

Lance walks up next to him and peers up at photos as well, pointing out one of the two of them together. They're sitting on some bench, Keith has a bag of nuts on his lap and Lance has his hand shoved inside it, theres a few squirrels around them all looking up expectantly as Keith eyes them warily.

"They attacked us as soon as we got up," Lance tells him, laughing. "Hunk couldn't breathe for a solid two minutes, he was laughing so hard he turned purple."

"I kind of remember that," Keith says, snorting.

"We dropped the bag and they attacked it instead, it was crazy," Lance snorts, turning from the wall and closing the screen of his laptop, putting away some books and papers into a neat stack before turning to Keith again with his hands on his hips. "Alright, ready to party?"

"You know it," Keith tells him, nodding his head a few times and following Lance out of the room.

They walk out at the same time Pidge does and she sticks her tongue out at Keith, she's wearing an oversized shirt and baggy sweats that are tied tightly around her waist. After eyeing both of them for a second she grabs Keith by his wrist and tugs him along to the living room where they find Hunk already dressed in his pajamas as well, his hood is up and Keith thinks that the bunny ears are cute even on a big guy like him.

He's setting down bowls filled with chips and other snacks on a coffee table, the spread making Keith lick his lips when he sees a tiny chocolate fountain and pieces of fruit and marshmallows next to it, the bean layered dip with a bowl of tortilla chips next to it, two big pitchers one filled with water and the other with something that looks like iced tea, and different bowls of popcorn in random flavors.

"Pizza is in the oven," Hunk tells them as Pidge jumps immediately to the table, sitting down next to the chocolate fountain and dipping popcorn into it. "I made it myself so it's going to be out of this world. Get ready for the ride of your life, Keith."

"It's really good," Lance nods, throwing himself on top of the couch and reaching over for a few chips to pop into his mouth one at a time.

When the pizza is gone and they are close to finishing up the snacks and after Hunk assures them there's more in the kitchen for later they all sit around in a circle around the table. Lance's eyes are narrowed and he's switching his gaze between the three of them as he rests his elbows on the table, laces his fingers together and presses his hands under his nose.

"Alright, nerds," Lance says. "Never Have I Ever or Truth or Dare."

"Oh no," Hunk gulps and Pidge snickers next to him.

"You have to pick or we'll flip a coin and no one will be happy," Lance tells him.

"You didn't let me bring alcohol, what are we even going to drink with Never Have I Ever?" Pidge asks, rolling her eyes and popping another chip into her mouth.

"We can just drink soda, Pidge," Lance tells her, rolling his eyes.

"First one that goes to pee loses," Keith says, filling up his cup already and Lance grins, reaching over to fill his cup as well with some iced tea.

"I guess it's decided," Hunk sighs, his shoulders slumping as he grabs his drink and Pidge fills both of their glasses quickly.

"Alright, I'll start," Lance says, tapping his fingertip thoughtfully against his chin. "Never have I ever... catfished someone."

"Damn it," Pidge takes a drink, rolling her eyes at the various gasps around the room but Keith notices that Lance quickly takes a sip as well. "I wanted to know how far my hacking skills could get."

Keith lowers his gaze to the table and thinks for a moment before he shrugs both shoulders and declares, "I think I'm going to win."

"Why?" Hunk asks.

"I probably won't be able to remember if I've done any of this stuff," Keith says and Lance laughs loudly at that.

"Hunk, your turn," Lance finally says and Hunk sighs.

"Never have I ever stayed up for three days straight," Hunk says, looking around the table.

"I'm sure I have," Keith mutters quietly, taking a sip.

"Right right," Lance laughs, looking at Keith expectantly still so he clears his throat.

"Never have I ever stolen money specifically from Shiro," Keith says, taking an immediate sip and laughing when everyone except for Hunk does.

"When did you steal money from Shiro, Lance?" Hunk gasps, staring at him with wide eyes.

Keith looks away quickly when Lance turns an unamused look to him.

"Well, Keith obviously remembered that time he made me take twenty bucks from Shiro's wallet while he was sleeping to pay for pizza," Lance huffs and Keith nods with a snicker.

"Guilty," Keith mutters, smiling back at Lance.

"You did it for a noble cause and I respect that," Pidge says, holding up her glass on soda. "Cheers. I took it because I wanted to see him panic when all his cash was gone."

They move on to video games after that, fighting over who gets a turn since Hunk and Lance only have three separate controllers. They finally find a good pace where all of them can rotate and still get a chance to play against each other.

"We have to play shoulder to shoulder to avoid all cheating," Lance says, sitting down next to Keith, pressing against his side as Pidge does the same on his other side. Hunk waits on the side with a grin, pulling out his camera and muttering something under his breath.

It does not stop them from cheating, Keith finds this out quickly when he gains first place on Mario Kart and both Pidge and Lance slam into him from either side, swaying him back and forth until he falls off the track.

"Choke!" Pidge shouts as she shoves against Keith again and Keith leans heavily into Lance, making him bend painfully on his side.

"You two are a bunch of ugly cheaters!" Lance shouts and Hunk is laughing off to the side. He finally manages to push Keith back again with surprising strength and they start screaming at the same time when Pidge throws her remote and launches herself across their laps to grab at Lance's controller.

"I said choke!" she shrieks and Lance squirms trying to pull away from her, meanwhile Keith keeps his eyes on the screen, adjusting whenever Pigde moves in her attempts to get Lance off the track again, her character on the screen is sitting still, glancing around in his kart as people dash past him and knock into him.

"You're a demon!" Lance shouts, kicking his feet and knocking Keith's remote out of his hand just as he's nearing the finish line. None of them are in first place anymore, the computer controlled characters passed them a long time ago but Keith thinks this is about pride, about crossing the finish line before the game gets tired of them and calls the race.

Hunk walks over slowly, kicking the remote at Keith when he gives up trying to free himself from Pidge's body and Lance's kicking around and he grins at him in thanks, pulling his character upright again in the road and pulling through to the finish line.

"No!" Lance shouts and Pidge turns abruptly, yelling once before she's off both of their laps and reaching for her forgotten remote.

Lance's Luigi is picking up again in the track but he only gets to move for five seconds before the game cuts them off. Keith stands, holding his arms outward, glancing at Hunk's phone when he brings it closer and shakes it in front of him. He laughs as Pidge starts cursing softly to herself and Lance turns, crossing his arms over his chest.

Later in the night after they stuff themselves with more snacks and Hunk turns on Netflix Keith tells him they don't actually have to watch a scary movie. Hunk gives him a relieved smile and pat on the back before he's scrolling through the selection they have. They watch a few episodes of The Office before switching to Mulan, singing loudly along to every one of the songs.

Lance gets up just before A Girl Worth Fighting For comes on, marching around the room, Hunk getting up quickly after him to act out the scene together. They grab Pidge by her shoulders when it's Mulan's turn on the screen, leaning into her from either side and poking at her stomach while she tries to shove them away.

"Nah!" they both shout, walking away from her and marching over to Keith next, he squirms slightly as they plop down on either side of him and shout, "Wish that I had!" Keith rolls his eyes but plays along anyway, mumbles, "A guy worth fighting for."

"Ay!" Lance shouts, laughs and ruffles the side of Keith's hair.

###

Keith glances at his phone when he sees a text from Shiro later in the night, typing out a quick reply that he's fine and _go to sleep shiro, it's 5 am_. Shiro replies back quickly that he's getting up for his daily jog and Keith should be the one going to sleep.

He glances in front of him, looking at Hunk who is sprawled across the room in front of the TV asleep. He snores but not too much, just a few rolling out of him whenever he shifts in his sleep. Pidge is curled up under the coffee table, her feet sticking out at odd angles but she looks comfortable, the glasses she usually wears set down next to her by Lance once they noticed her snoozing.

He's sitting shoulder to shoulder with Lance, watching one of the many Disney movies Keith can't remember right now. Lance is munching on half of a pastelito, the other half is on Keith's hand and he's nibbling at it slowly. He's surprised that Lance is still awake but can't deny that he's enjoying his company, his warmth, how their matching pajamas look pressed together.

"I watched this one at the movies with Hunk, literally everyone was crying," Lance mumbles turning to Keith to give him a small smile, his nose scrunched slightly. "I was too."

Keith swallows once, smiling back at Lance and wanting to turn back to look at the movie but Lance keeps his eyes on him, twists slightly so he can throw his arm over the back of the couch, his body shifting until he's facing Keith completely.

"Did you have fun tonight?" Lance asks him, blinking a few times, slower each time his eyes shut and Keith lets out a soft huff of laughter through his nose because he's definitely tired but holding out for this.

"Of course," Keith says, nudging his knee against Lance's. "I was with all of my friends having one of those classic nights together and Shiro and Matt didn't annoy us with the excuse of chaperoning. It was great."

"I'm glad," Lance tells him, his head lowering as he turns it down to look at his pajama bottoms, tugging slightly at a loose thread. "I keep thinking things are going to be weird or awkward or just painful but they aren't. And I'm... I'm really happy we're friends again, Keith."

"Me too," Keith tells him, resting his hand gently against Lance's knee for a few seconds before pulling back, grinning at Lance when he looks up and sticks his tongue out at him.

"There's so much I want to tell you," Lance says, sighing softly. "A lot of stuff that I want you to know about me. New stuff."

"You can tell me," Keith says, scooting closer, resting his head back against the couch with a small smile, head turned so he can keep his gaze on Lance. "I want to hear about it. I want to hear about you."

Lance gives him a shy smile before clearing his throat, leaning on his side until his cheek is resting against the back of the couch as well, their eyes on each other as Lance tells him about the time Keith has missed out on for him. He tells Keith about his struggles with some of his graduate classes, about the people that he became friends with and eventually dramatically betrayed him somehow, about work and his co-worker named Rolo, about his family, his parents, how his siblings are doing, how many new babies they've welcome to their family.

Keith doesn't really notice it when they move closer to each other, he's too focused on listening to Lance talk about his life and Keith is so hungry to hear more, but Lance's knee is now tucked underneath Keith's and their noses are so close to brushing together, the pull irresistible and they both notice it at the same time, freeze. Lance trails off on his story about his trip to Spain and the kids that bully tourists in the streets.

Keith thinks about leaning over, about closing the distance between them, pressing a kiss against Lance's lips. He doesn't want to be that guy, though, doesn't want to steal an abrupt kiss after they've been apart for so long, specially not when they're only friends. Even their first kiss before they had gotten together hadn't been sudden, Keith had asked quietly, his fingers tangled tightly with Lance's.

He lifts his gaze from Lance's lips, blinking once when he finds Lance's searching gaze, his lips parting to say something, already getting ready to pull back but Lance clears his throat, whispers, "Can I kiss you?"

Keith swallows once, lets out a soft shy breath and nods, his eyes fluttering shut but not before he sees Lance's lips tilt into a small smile, feels the warmth of his breath, the first soft brush of his lips before they press gently into Keith's.

Keith had never really been a fan of cheesy things until Lance. Had always thought it was an exaggeration when first kisses were shown as life changing on movies and shows but that's exactly what every kiss with Lance has felt like and this one is no an exception.

It's as if bursts of color are shooting off behind his lids, his chest and cheeks feeling impossibly warm almost immediately, heart fluttering softly, a content feeling settling deep in his chest and stomach. It feels right, meant to be, fucking _destined_.

Lance pulls back just a bit, their foreheads pressing together and Keith opens his eyes slowly, finding Lance's still shut, his lips pursing together briefly before he's leaning close again, catching Keith's bottom lip with his lips, tugging at it gently before he's pressing them back together softly. Keith let's out a quiet hum, tastes the sweet strawberry filling from the pastelito, his hand moving to rest against Lance's thigh, head tilting to the side so it's easier, smoother.

Lance cups Keith's face between his palms, pulling him closer, their noses bumping together as he presses quick soft kisses against Keith's lips before his arms slide behind him and around his neck, Keith's hand moving to slide his arm around Lance's waist. He nips lightly at Lance's bottom lip when the latter pulls back and they laugh together softly, under their breaths. Lance nips back at Keith's upper lip, kisses it right after as if he's soothing it, his fingers brushing gently over the locks of hair curling on the back of Keith's neck and–

"Bananas in my calzone?" Hunk says, shocked, and they both spring apart, looking at Hunk in a panic only to find him sleeping still. "Who do you take me for..."

Lance gives Keith a small smile when they turn to look at each other again and he smiles back, presses his back against the couch cushions again, feels Lance do the same. Their shoulders press together and they turn back to the movie, but Keith, stupid and brave reaches for Lance's hand. He laces their fingers together, expects Lance to pull back but he doesn't, instead he squeezes lightly and rests his head against Keith's shoulder.

###

Lance wakes with a start, gasping and sitting up in a daze. He looks around in a panic before he remembers where he is, spotting the empty bowls of snacks and Pidge still sprawled underneath the table. Keith is curled against the other side of the couch, mouth slack in his sleep, just a bit of drool seeping out of the corner of his mouth. Lance feels his heart thump in his chest, a giddy feeling rushing through him when he remembers their kisses from the night before.

He stands from the couch carefully so as to not disturb Keith, pulling the latter's legs over gently so they're stretched across the couch instead of curled up. Keith shifts slightly in his sleep, cheek pressing closer into the armrest of the couch, hair wild and sticking out in different directions.

Lance can feel a headache making his head pulse lightly near the back of his neck but he ignores it, expected it after staying up all night and only eating greasy snacks and sugar filled drinks. He wanders into the kitchen for a glass of water and spots Hunk next to the stove, a pot of coffee brewing as he makes what looks like waffles.

"Hey dude," Hunk says, waving. "Sleep well?"

"Ugh," Lance grunts, shrugs and rubs his eye. "What time is it?"

"A bit after two," Hunk says, humming under his breath as he stacks two waffles next to each other and starts to drizzle over them with some syrup, placing fresh fruit next to it, and then a dollop of whipped cream he definitely hand-made.

Lance's stomach growls suddenly at the sight and Hunk looks up at him, waves his hand at him in a shooing motion.

"Go wake everyone up," Hunk says, starting up on preparing another plate. "It'll be about twenty minutes."

"Okay," Lance mumbles dumbly, going to the living room again and nudging Pidge with his foot against her leg until she wakes up with a whine, rolls out from under the table and stands. She glares at him and he shrugs his shoulders.

"Hunk said, get up, clean up, pee, and go eat breakfast," Lance tells her, grinning when she flips him off and stomps away in the direction of the bathroom.

He stares at Keith for a minute before he crouches down next to him, reaching with a light touch to brush his fingertips against his cheek, pushing the hair away from his face. He wants to let Keith sleep in some more but if Hunk doesn't see everyone sitting around the table he's not going to let anyone eat. So Lance starts to nudge gently against his cheek, grins when Keith's eyebrows begin to furrow, a low rumble coming from his chest as he twists slightly away from Lance's touch.

"Wake up, Keith," Lance says softly, tugging gently at a lock of Keith's hair and Keith lets out a quiet whine but it lacks discontent, instead he sounds a little bit flustered and happy.

Lance pulls back his hand when Keith lets out a slow breath through his nose, eyes fluttering open when he finally dares to look into the brightly lit room. His eyes meet Lance's and he gives Lance the most adorable and sleepy smile, one that makes Lance want to lean over to steal a kiss but he doesn't do it, isn't sure if he has the permission to keep doing it.

"We're eating breakfast soon," Lance tells him. "Or well... late brunch, I guess?"

"Okay," Keith mumbles softly, sits up, stretches his arms over his head and Lance snorts when he hears a few joints and bones pop.

When Lance is back in his room putting away the sleeping bags no one but Hunk used he hears the creak of his door, turns and sees Keith coming in. From all the way here Lance can see how Keith's cheeks are flushed a bright red, there's a slight scrunch in his nose and he looks hesitant to come close to Lance and immediately Lance's mind starts running too fast for him to catch up because he knows that look. Knows it as one that means Keith is feeling at odds about something and the only thing that has happened between them that Keith can be confused about is their kissing the previous night.

And suddenly Lance can't breathe anymore because he was an idiot for pulling a move like that on Keith in the first place, didn't know what he was thinking by asking him if he could kiss him and didn't know what possessed him to not only take one kiss but at least a few dozen instead. He can see Keith is bracing himself to say something but Lance puts up his walls immediately, doesn't want to fight, doesn't want to face any type of rejection so he opens his mouth before Keith can.

"Sorry about last night," Lance says, shrugging his shoulder and turning to tuck away the sleeping bags like he doesn't care, doesn't want to see the relief in Keith's expression.

"Huh?" he hears Keith say, the shuffling of his feet on the carpet.

"I shouldn't have kissed you, I'm sorry," Lance says, turning finally when the sleeping bags are tucked in the furthest corner of his closet.

"I..." Keith starts but Lance cuts him off.

"It was a bad idea, Keith," Lance says, swallowing once because just saying the words makes him realize it's actually true. "You... I feel like I took advantage of you. You don't have your memories... you don't remember that you _don't_ actually like me anymore and when your memories about me come back everything between us might change again."

"Lance," Keith says but Lance shakes his head quickly, can't stop now.

"I won't let it happen again," Lance tells him, fierce, decisive. "It's for the best."

"But... Lance... I like you," Keith mumbles, looking away from him, his lips turned down into a frown.

They stand in silence for a while and Lance keeps his eyes on Keith, is wary because even though Keith saying that has him filling with hope he still doesn't know if it's a good idea. He isn't sure if they should risk it before Keith's memories come back, doesn't want for them to come together and suddenly be shut out again or worse yelled at by a really angry Keith for letting something like this happen.

"I love you," Keith says and he swallows once, his fists shaking. "I love you and that's... you know that's the first time I remember saying it but-"

Keith cuts off and Lance's heart is racing, his face feels hot, and his feet aren't sure if they want to run away from Keith or to him. _Love_? Keith _loves_ him?

"This is really hard for me you know?" Keith continues, pressing his back against the door and it clicks shut, muffling Pidge's and Hunk's voices coming from the kitchen as they argue about what fruit goes best with waffles, Lance thinks he heard Pidge say ice-cream and Hunk shriek _that's not a fruit!_ but he can't be sure. There's too much blood rushing in his ears, pulsating against his throat because he hasn't seen Keith this emotional in a long time.

"And I... I know you sort of have a girlfriend right now and it was probably not right to say yes last night but I don't regret it... It's what I wanted. And if she's the reason why you're saying no right now then that's easier but if this is because of my memories I think you're wrong. I don't think I'll be mad at you... maybe I was over it before but I don't think I was, Lance, because even _I_ can tell my life is fucking empty right now. The me before the accident was a lonely person... I don't want that again."

"I broke things off with Nyma a week ago," Lance says in the silence that follows and Keith looks up at him.

Lance ruffles the back of his hair before he steps closer to Keith, standing only a few steps away from him. He looks to the side and spots one of his action figures lying on top of a few books and it's stupid that he's having this conversation with Keith in his room because if it ends badly now Lance won't be able to not think about it in this context. He sighs, pursing his lips before he looks to Keith again.

"I think we should wait," Lance says, brushing his fingers against his own neck and reaching for Keith's hand, pulling it close and pressing it flat against his chest, over his heart. "I know this is confusing, Keith... it is for me too. I mean... can you feel that? My heart has been going crazy for you and it's not just now... it's always, every time we hang out together, whenever you smile at me. It's... it's weird to be back to where I was before when it comes to how I feel about you.

"I thought this was done with... I had accepted it, and I know it would have stayed that way, us broken up, if it weren't for your accident, but I just don't know... I don't want us to hurt when we can avoid it. I love you too, Keith. I don't know if I could ever stop but I think we need more time."

"Are you sure?" Keith asks, his voice is soft, hair still sticking in all directions from waking up. His bottom lip is jutted outward into a pout and Lance laughs, lifts his free hand to press a fingertip gently against Keith's cheek. "I'll only accept it if you're sure, Lance."

"I'm not," Lance admits, shaking his head.

"Well... how about we go on a date?" Keith asks, clearing his throat. "You know... no commitment, just... Keith and Lance."

"Neck and neck," Lance snorts when Keith rolls his eyes but smiles anyway. "Okay."

"Yeah?" Keith asks, pulling his hand back from Lance's chest and instead tangling their fingers together, squeezing tightly as he lifts himself on his toes to press a kiss against Lance's cheek.

"Yep, we'll figure it out later, okay?" Lance says, pulling back and letting go of Keith's hand. "Hunk literally won't eat if we're not all there... and... you don't mind if we don't tell anyone about the date for now, right?"

"I don't mind," Keith says immediately, giving Lance another small smile before he turns and reaches for the doorknob, pulling the door open once he twists it and he waits for Lance in the hall so they can walk together back into the now clean living room, sitting around the table when Pidge and Hunk stab their forks into the waffles immediately.

Lance can't help but feel worried he'll get used to this again only to have it taken away. He swallows back the feeling with a gulp of orange juice before joining in on the conversation about the night before, what they should do next, when the next sleepover should be and if they should do a panty raid at Shiro's place before hitting Matt's. Keith can't stop laughing at that, he's bending over the table, his forehead makes a thud against it and his fist is banging against the floor. The loud and bright sound of his laughter is so contagious the rest of them start cracking up with him.

Lance really could get used to this again.

###

Shiro picks Keith and Pidge up anyway even though Lance said giving them a ride home wouldn't be a problem, he and Hunk needed to go out to replenish all the groceries they used the night before anyway. They're all standing in the lawn, scrolling through their phone to look at their calendars to try and figure the next best day for all of them to hang out together. Keith leans slightly to the side, his bag weighing down one of his shoulders, pillow and blanket tucked underneath his other arm.

He can't stop stealing glances at Lance, grinning when their eyes meet and Lance looks away quickly, his cheek flushing before the color fades and gets lost in his warm brown skin. Once they got something figured out Keith opens his arms to accept a hug from Hunk who gives him a tight squeeze and lifts him from the ground for a few seconds. Lance wraps an arm around his shoulders in a quick hug from the side before they Lance and Hunk move to hug Pidge before they make their way to Shiro's car.

"Hurry up, I'm gonna miss my shows," Shiro calls out and Keith rolls his eyes, sliding into the passenger seat.

"You're literally the only one that cracks old person jokes about yourself," Keith tells him and Shiro grins as Pidge lays across the back seats.

"Hey, someone's gotta do it," Shiro shrugs, waving at Hunk and Lance before driving smoothly down the street. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah," Keith laughs, shaking his head. "It was really crazy."

"It's always like that," Pidge snorts. "I mean we only did it once after, you know, but now that we had a sleepover again it was just how I thought it would be. Crazy, fun, stupid."

"Well, I'm glad you guys enjoyed your time together," Shiro hums softly to himself, he keeps giving side glances to Keith, his eyebrow raising from time to time. "Specially you, Keith. You look a bit _too_ > happy."

"Shut up," Keith rolls his eyes, crosses his arms over his chest and slouches on the seat.

It's kind of true though. He does feel happy, happier than he has since his accident. He can't stop thinking about the night... morning? Can't stop thinking about what Lance's lips against his own felt like, about the ways his hands fit perfectly against Keith's face, about how they laughed while they kissed just like the always did.

It feels like he's walking on air, weightless, heart soaring every time he thinks about Lance's smile, or his gentle nudges against Keith's shoulder, the sound of his voice when he's telling a story. He purses his lips together, swears he can still feel them tingling from pressing them against Lance's cheek.

After they've dropped off Pidge they drive to Keith's apartment and Shiro asks if he needs anything before Keith waves him off and shakes his head.

"I'll just sleep to catch up from last night," Keith tells him, grabbing his blanket and making sure he has his phone and keys before he waves to Shiro and turns.

After he's showered and tucked into his bed, the curtains drawn so only a sliver of light comes through, Keith pulls out his phone from his sweats pocket. He taps it gently against his palm, eyes on the ceiling and every time they shut he can't help but see Lance behind his lids.

Keith is ready to take Lance on a date next week, but first he has to do something more for himself, has to face the one thing that has been making him freeze and hesitate for the past few months since his accident. He swallows once, braces himself as he pulls his phone in front of him, sits up so his back is pressed against the headboard, knees drawn in close to his chest.

He unlocks his phone by pressing his fingertip against the reader, opens the message app, scrolls down quickly until he hits Lance's name and he sees it again there. A message from three years ago.

_stop. stop texting me._

He shuts his eyes once more, thinks about Lance again, about last night, about how their lips meeting felt right. About the happiness that was still tingling against his fingertips, the way Lance's heart had been racing underneath his palm. With a deep breath he opens his eyes, looks down at the phone again before pressing on the message thread with his thumb, the screen filling with long bubbles of speech.

"Here goes nothing," he whispers, scrolling to the very top.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so excited to share this second part and im sorry it took a while, sometimes i get stuck lol.  
> also keith is super gay obviously, he's just being playful with shay.  
> i love comments and kudos ♡


	3. part 3 (final)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i miss the way you sound  
> i miss [being] around you  
> just let me have another chance
> 
>  
> 
> [Sick Feeling - boy pablo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTFDlGv2IWg)
> 
>  
> 
> (the first part of a lot of this are flashbacks, but it becomes pretty clear that that is what they are eventually [i hope])

It's hot in the kitchen, Keith has a tank top on, back straight against the chair and he sits still, patient as Lance dampens his hair only a little bit so the fine tooth comb he's brushing through Keith's hair glides smoothly. There's something simmering on the stove, a new dish Lance wanted to share with him. Lance had said it was one of his favorites from when he lived in Cuba and his mom had finally found almost the perfect balance to make it taste like it did back home. _It's not going to be perfect... the taste is never the same in other countries but we can try!_

When he was done Keith had been lingering in the kitchen, keeping Lance company, his back leaning against the wall next to the stove as he watched Lance chop vegetables finely when Lance had made another one of his usual comments about Keith's hair. He flicked Keith's bangs back with two fingers and shook his head, told Keith they would be trimming his hair in a second, and Keith had only agreed because Lance with his fingers in his hair would be... nice.

"You really need to think about maybe going to an actual hairdresser one day, Keith," Lance says and Keith only smiles, keeps his eyes on the print of Lance's shirt, content in staying still while Lance lifts a lock of his hair and trims it with the soft snip of the scissors on his hand.

"You do a pretty good job," Keith tells him, grins when Lance bends down to grab Keith's bangs, his eyes focused, hand steady as he trims away the dried out ends.

"One of these days I'll chop off way too much of your mullet and you'll be mad," Lance laughs, brushing back Keith's hair with his fingertips, dragging them deep into his scalp. "Maybe I'll do it on purpose because this style is a crime to your handsome face."

Keith feels like his heart is against his throat, wants so badly to have the right to hold Lance close, to press a thankful kiss against his hands. He grabs Lance's wrist when the hand holding the scissors stars to drop away, pulls him close between his legs. He doesn't really think about it but follows the urge anyway, pulls the scissors from Lance's hands and lets them drop with a clatter, laces their fingers together to press a soft kiss against Lance's knuckles.

"Ah..." Lance lets out a soft huff of a breath, squeezing Keith's hand gently and Keith can feel he's about to pull away and he really doesn't want him to.

"Hey Lance," he mumbles, tilting his head upward, smiling when he sees Lace's eyes already on his. "Thank you."

"It's no problem, buddy," Lance lets out a soft breath, looks a little bit flustered, moves to pull his hand away again but Keith holds on tighter, wraps his free arm around Lance's waist, leans closer until his face is buried right in the middle of Lance's chest.

"Keith?" Lance whispers.

It's not because he's feeling brave, it's more because he's feeling desperate to finally take something he has wanted to for a long time. He stands carefully, keeps Lance's hand in his, leans closer until he can be face to face with him, only a few inches away. Lance's cheeks are bright red, his eyes blinking quickly as they try to keep up with whatever is going on with Keith's face. He watches as his eyelashes flutter nervously, hand squeezing against Keith's probably without noticing.

Keith thinks about stealing a kiss but he thinks this has the potential to open up their lives in a new and exciting way. Thinks that just as they're about to enter their twenties next year maybe they can do it together as a couple if this goes well, if Keith hasn't been reading things wrong, if Lance likes him too.

He leans close, pushes himself upward just enough on his toes, tilts his head so their lips are only a breath away and he watches as Lance's eyes flutter shut, feels a tighter squeeze on his hand. Lance looks nervous, his eyes squeezing at random but Keith holds his place, whispers, "Lance, can I kiss you?"

"Mfm," Lance hums out, nodding his head twice quickly.

Keith presses a soft kiss into Lance's lips, it only lasts a few seconds before he's pulling back, giving another light squeeze to Lance's hand and letting go finally, their fingers brushing together as they pull apart. Lance's gaze flits to the side, his lips pursing together before he bites down on his bottom lip gently.

It's how they start the conversation about their feelings, about their relationship, about keeping things secret until they're sure. But Keith remembers all of that too vividly, knows exactly what time it was, what the weather was like, their exact longitude and latitude because he wanted to keep every detail in his mind forever like that. Wanted to honor how special Lance felt to him.

The memory is still triggered in his mind anyway when their text messages are sweet, funny, still dorky with each other. Lance sends him a lot of emojis and the first time Keith finally caves in an uses a blue heart in his goodnight message to Lance he remembers getting a phone call right away, remembers Lance's voice heavy with happiness at a gesture so small.

 

 

Shiro finds out on accident. Lance is over at their place and it's not an uncommon occurrence so there's really nothing to be suspicious of and they don't feel like they have to act any differently than how they usually do except Keith failed to notice that they had been acting different from each other. Keith was more attentive, more cheerful, more present. Lance was a little bit shy, teasing, always touching Keith somehow.

They are settling down with a fresh bowl of popcorn to finish watching their movie when Shiro stands in front of the television, his arms crossed as he looks down at them with suspiciously narrowed eyes. Keith and Lance are a bit oblivious, he remembers his arm thrown over Lance's shoulder, thumb rubbing gentle circles against it, eyebrow raised as he stared back at his older adoptive brother.

"Do you two have something you want to share?" Shiro asks in his best teacher voice.

"Yes," Lance nods, sitting up. "In the event I ever get arrested can I count on your to come pick me up and not tell my parents?"

"Ha ha," Shiro deadpans and Keith snorts, turns his head and his lips brush against the side of Lance's curly hair. "See! That, right there! What is that about?"

"What?" Lance asks. "Also please answer the question I might want to become a criminal one day."

"Lance, of course I would pick you up, I've done it enough times for Keith and I'm his guardian," Shiro rolls his eyes. "You two... there's something going on here..."

"Uh..." Lance glances at Keith and Keith furrows his eyebrows, looking back, trying to see what Lance thinks, if maybe it's still too soon but he doesn't think it is because he can't stop thinking about Lance. Knows that this is real, that this is going to last, that they have the potential to be together forever.

"We're dating," Keith says and Lance grins, sitting back again, comfortable and relaxed as Keith pulls his arms closer around his shoulder and smacks a kiss against Lance's temple for effect.

"Good," Shiro mutters, nodding his head a few times. "Well, I'll leave you to it. Congrats."

"How many times have you been arrested, Keith?" Lance asks, his eyes widening.

"I've been detained once, it's not technically on my record after Shiro talked to them," Keith shrugs.

 

 

"It's not fair, Keith is going to destroy us," Pidge deadpans, looking at Keith and Lance standing side by side in the entrance to the paintball field.

They already have their armor on and Keith has his paintball gun strapped to his back while Lance is holding his at the side.

"Untrue," Hunk says. "Keith is just going to shoot at random and Lance is the one that will destroy us."

"We're playing teams today and if Lance and Keith are together they will be unstoppable, you know one with his perfect aim and the other with his fearless drive."

"So true," Keith mutters, shaking his head, rubbing his chin with his thumb. "But I called dibs on Lance so..."

"He did," Lance nods, reaches over to grab Keith's hand after switching his gun to the other one.

"You ambidextrous mother fuckers," Pidge mutters, stomping her foot and pushing inside. "Come on, Hunk!"

They get the most hits in even when they're leaning behind giant blocks to hide, even when they spend most of that time pressing kisses into each other's lips until they're too covered in paint to keep going.

"Laser tag wouldn't be as messy," Keith says to Lance as the timer announces the end of their session and they walk hand-in-hand to meet Hunk and Pidge who are dripping with paint.

"So true," Lance snorts after he tries to mimic Keith's tone from earlier.

 

 

He looks like an absolute love fool and he knows it. Doesn't really care as he props both elbows on the table and rests his chin on his palms, staring at Lance sitting across from him as he works on his homework. From time to time Lance's gaze will lift from his laptop, his fingers slowing down over the keyboard as he meets Keith's gaze and gives him a small smile.

Keith is kind of lucky that Lance doesn't mind being admired because sometimes it feels like that is the only thing Keith knows how to do when he's around Lance. He smiles back, though, grins when Lance drops his head quickly and takes a moment before refocusing on his work. Eventually Keith will move next to him, lay his cheek against the table, shut his eyes and relax to the soft sound of Lance's breath, his little hums as he thinks on what to add to his essay next.

Falls asleep only to wake up when Lance starts to pack up, his jacket draped over Keith's shoulders. Keith huffs and buries his face into his arms, takes a few deep breaths to get used to being awake again, to the light before he's standing and kissing Lance's shoulder in thanks as he gives back the jacket.

 

 

_hey babe_

_mm?_

_mama found out about us._

_uh... and.._

_and she wants to talk_

 

 

"You didn't have to dress up," Lance tells him, eyes wide and his siblings snicker behind him. "Shut up, Marco."

"This is amazing," Veronica laughs and Keith turns away, his cheeks burning bright.

"Veronica, you wish your girl had the guts to come and ask papá if she can date you," Luis snorts but he has a wide smile too and Keith spots a thumbs up in his direction.

"Technically Keith didn't ask papá before making it official," Veronica says and her accent is back full force, Keith knows that Lance's probably will surface again too any minute as he comes to Keith's defense but they don't have time to find out because Lance's parents step out of the kitchen, their rapid Spanish cutting off when they see Keith.

"Keith, hello," Lance's father sticks out his hand and Keith freezes slightly, can hear the chorus of groans from Lance and his siblings because their father even made his voice deeper, squared his shoulders.

"Right, yes! Hello," Keith holds out his hands, stiffly shakes the hand offered to him and bows slightly as well. It's a habit now, something he does out of respect, something he never did before Shiro put him in the habit of bowing to every elder.

Lance's mother has a small smile on her lips as she eyes over him and she's not dressed up either, is wearing an apron over her simple shirt and shorts outfit, has flip-flops on that Lance is always complaining about whenever he knows he's going to miss his curfew.  _No is safe from the chancla, Keith. Not even you._  There's a slight twinkle in her eye and Keith can't keep looking at her because he feels the rush of nervous butterflies in his stomach again, meets the gaze of Lance's father again and can't stop the words bubbling out of his chest.

"I like your son and would like your permission to take him on dates," Keith spills out too quickly, his breath nearly running out before he finishes.

"I can't watch this," Keith hears Marco say as his snickers start in full force again.

"But does my son like _you_?" Lance's father says, crossing his arms over his chest, not looking at Lance.

"Uh," Keith starts, looking to Lance and widening his eyes when he finds Veronica's hand over his mouth, Marco pinning his hands behind him and he struggles but his parents seem unbothered and Keith doesn't want to step over lines even though he wants to jump in a save Lance.

"I don't know, papá," Luis starts and Keith blinks because he thought Luis was on their side earlier. "I ain't ever heard Lance talk all gooey about Keith and he talks gooey cheese about a lot of people."

"Used to," Lance's mother corrects and Keith hears Lance's muffled protests as he keeps squirming. "He stopped a few weeks ago."

"That _is_ true," Marco says.

"Maybe he didn't talk gooey about Keith but he has been talking about him," Veronica says, grunting with the effort to keep her hand over Lance's mouth. "Stop licking my hand, it won't work. Anyway," her accent is still in full effect, her mouth smacking on her gum. "He has been talking about Keith an awful lot."

"Complaining about Keith," Luis points out and they all look expectantly at their father, Keith furrowing his brows because just a while ago Keith and Lance hung out with Veronica and she seemed on board with their relationship.

"Dejalo ir," Lance's papa says and both Veronica and Marco drop Lance, moving away from him as Lance turns to swat his hands at them. "Mijo, you like this guy or do you want to beat him up, we're confused."

"Both," Lance says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I feel like that about you," Lance's mother says and Keith glances at her, returns her smile before he hastily grabs the hand in front of him to shake it again.

"If that's what Lance wants it's okay," Lance's father says, shrugging one shoulder. "Who's hungry?"

"Me!" everyone in the room shouts except for Lance who is wiping his mouth with his sleeve to clear away his own drool, he walks over to Keith and presses a palm gently against his cheek when everyone follows Lance's mother back into the kitchen.

"Sorry about that," Lance mumbles, looking down. "I uh..."

"It's okay, it's part of this... you... you're worth it," Keith sighs, his shoulders slumping slightly because suddenly he feels really tired and relieved.

"Where did you get this suit from?" Lance laughs, brushing down the front of Keith's jacket.

"Shiro," Keith mumbles, pursing his lips together quickly.

"Yeah, I can tell," Lance snorts but he has a small smile on anyway as he slides his arms around Keith's back, squeezing him in a quick hug before he's pulling him into the kitchen.

After that it gets easier to step into Lance's home, he joins them often for dinner or just because they're all going to be watching a new movie in their living room. Lance always throws himself over Keith, wraps a blanket around them as they share whatever snack Lance's mother made. Keith thinks at first that it's weird that his parents don't blink an eye at them but it must be because they know they're not doing anything inappropriate. Keith just bears Lance's weight and doesn't complain even when he can feel his legs falling asleep, brushes his fingers over Lance's curly hair as he settles back into Keith's chest, head nestled against Keith's shoulder, eyes on the screen.

 

 

_the concert is out of town. is that okay?_

_ why wouldn't it be? _

_we're going to have to stay there overnight._

_oh._

 

 

They're buzzing with so much post-concert energy that Keith doesn't even remember why he was so nervous to spend the night with Lance in a hotel. They take turns in the shower and sit down on the bed facing each other, their legs crossed over, hands held between them as they talk about their favorite part, or song, or if they could hear each other sing over everyone else.

"Thanks, babe," Lance tells him, leaning across and kissing Keith once softly.

Keith still isn't used to Lance's kisses, still gets taken by surprise, blown away, heart set racing, warmth spreading everywhere. He caves into his urge and throws his arm around Lance, laying down with him as he peppers quick kisses all over Lance's face. After they settle down, Keith's lips brushing against the crown of Lance's head, Lance wiggles around enough that he can pull the blankets over them.

Keith doesn't know if it's the same for Lance but he's suddenly feeling heavy when Lance turns the lights off, scoots closer into Lance's side, pulls him in tight to him by the waist as he buries his face into Lance's soft hair, fluffy from the shower, breathing in the sweet scent of his hair cleanser.

"Night, baby," Keith mumbles, his eyes falling shut heavily and Lance squeezes his arm around Keith's waist, makes a soft content noise.

"Night."

 

 

_babe please tell me what we're doing pleaseeee._

_it's a secret._

_grr. even from me?_

_ specially from you. _

 

 

Keith planned on saying it today, he just didn't think it would be so early in the evening. Didn't think it would slip from his lips as Lance adjusted the collar of Keith's shirt, his fingers careful. But Keith looks at him, at the small smile adorning Lance's lips, the color dusting his cheeks and tip of his nose. They're not even out of Lance's porch yet but Keith rests a hand against Lance's waist, leans close into the grip of Lance's hands and whispers, "I love you."

It's been six months and Keith knows he loves him. Sort of already knew he did before they got together but it was a big word and he wanted to be sure, didn't want to let it slip just like that when they were in the middle of their honeymoon phase.

Lance's fingers freeze against the fabric of his shirt and Keith watches as his eyes dart around before they meet his, his Adam's apple bobbing once as he swallows, teeth peeking out as he bites his bottom lip but Keith can tell it's because he's trying to hold back a smile.

"I..." Lance lets out a shaky laugh, nodding a few times. "I love you too, Keith."

Keith can't help but grin, leaning in close to press a quick chaste kiss against Lance's lips, his arms sliding around his lower back, chin hooking onto his shoulder and he catches sight of the curtains of Lance's house swiping shut. Lance groans when he hears the rushed whisper shouting of his entire family but hugs Keith back tightly anyway, burying his nose to the top of Keith's head.

Keith can't remember the rest of their date. All he knows is that Lance was radiant until Keith dropped him off home that night, both of them getting off Keith's motorcycle and walking him to his door, sharing another one of their way too long goodnight's. Remembers Lance opening his door and barely taking a step in before he's snatched inside, door slamming shut, and four excited voices are asking him a million questions in both Spanish and English that Keith can barely understand through the door.

He has to sit down for a moment on the porch steps, thumbs fiddling together as he tries to slow down the frantic beat of his heart because he _did_ it. He told Lance he loves him. Finally. _And Lance_ _said it back_. He lets out a breathless laugh when he finally hears Lance's shouts over the voices of his siblings, ruffling his hair as they start to trail off when they move into a different room of their home.

When he steps through the door of his own house Shiro is fiddling with his phone, his entire body laid across the couch and he lazily turns his head to look at Keith when he hears the door before he's suddenly shooting up, jumping to his feet at a speed that makes him look both hilarious and terrifying. His feet thump on the floor heavily as he rushes to Keith, grips him by his forearms and shakes him a bit in front of him before he looks into his eyes, raises both brows.

"So..." Shiro prompts him, looks excited for Keith but also a little bit hesitant.

"So?" Keith asks, blinking, pretending he doesn't know what Shiro is asking.

"Come on, Keith, how'd it go?" Shiro asks. "Did you tell him? What did he say? Did you give him the bracelet?"

"It went great," Keith says, swallowing once before he's laughing along with Shiro, pulled into a tight hug that has the breath rushing out of his lungs.

Keith is sure that was one of the best days of his life.

 

 

_pizza? ice cream?_

_I don't know... I'm tired._

_oh come on, theres something going on. i wish you would tell me._

_ don't worry about it. _

 

 

Lance shows up at his house with ice cream and pizza anyway. Keith isn't sure it's a great combination because just the sight of the two things together has his stomach rolling uncomfortably but Lance tucks the ice cream into the freezer and tells him it's for later, just in case he needs it. He gets to work grabbing them plates, napkins, a few soda cans from the fridge and tucking away a few slices for Shiro too. He leaves a note on top of them that says Shiro's name and Keith feels a slight pang in his chest.

He can't believe he's been shutting Lance out. Lance who is so attentive to every little detail, someone that takes care of everyone around him, makes sure they're all feeling content before he worries about himself. Keith has seen the slump of his shoulders when he's alone, the insecurity that lingers behind almost everything he does before he masks it with a heavy layer of fake confidence. He feels a stab of guilt in his gut but sets it aside for now.

They scoot close together when Lance finally sits down next to him to eat. Keith tries to focus on only this but there's still that sad shock lingering in his fingertips, angry tears threatening to gather in his eyes and potentially spill. He sniffs once and takes an angry bite of the pizza slice Lance gave him, only lasting a moment before he's dropping heavily against Lance's side but it looks like Lance expected this. His body is firm as he supports Keith's weight.

When they're done, when it's been at least thirty minutes of spending their time together in comfortable silence, Keith takes a deep breath and reaches inside the pocket of his sweats, pulls out the crumpled and dirty sheet of paper he's been keeping on him since he received it. He hands it to Lance with a bit of a shake in his fingers and Lance carefully takes it, looks down to the side at Keith who keeps his eyes on Lance's jawline, unable to meet his eyes.

He doesn't want to see Lance's questioning gaze, doesn't want to explain himself what the paper is and what it means. He turns his head to the side instead, leans down on his elbow and presses his cheek against the back of the couch. He can hear Lance unfolding the piece of paper, smoothing down the edges and it's quiet for a minute or two before Lance gasps softly. He takes a deep breath right after and releases it slowly and then Keith feels two arms wrapping tightly around his middle, Lance's nose and forehead pressing against the back of his shoulder.

"How do you feel?" Lance asks quietly, the words whispered against Keith's neck, making him shiver.

"Confused," Keith mutters after a long pause. "Sad."

"That's okay," Lance reassures him right away, squeezes him tighter before he's turning Keith around, pulling him tight against his side, practically on top of his lap. "It's okay to feel that way. How long ago did you get this?"

"Two weeks ago," Keith tells him, sniffs once and rubs the sleeve of his shirt against his nose before he's collapsing into Lance once again, his forehead pressed against the side of Lance's neck, cheek next to his collarbone.

"Have you decided what you're going to do?" Lance asks, rubbing his palm over Keith's back slowly. It's comforting.

"Nothing," Keith mumbles, he likes to think that his voice sounds sure of himself but he knows it doesn't. It's what he wants to do but he doesn't know if it's the right thing to do. Should have probably talked to Lance sooner, probably listened to what Shiro had to say about it before he left on his work trip out of town. Instead he wallowed in his self-pity and anger. Instead he stopped talking to everyone including Lance.

"I think you should call her," Lance tells him, patting his back gently a few times, his free hand coming up to brush his fingers over the back of Keith's hair. "You never know what could happen."

"I don't know," Keith mutters, shaking his head.

 

 

_are you sure you don't want me to come with you?_

_yeah. it'll be okay._

 

 

It's not okay. Keith thought it would be, that he could handle meeting her, but all his mom has to offer him are bullshit excuses and pleas to let her back into his life. Keith can't shake off his anger quick enough, can't shake off the bitterness of wandering from foster home to foster home until Shiro finally found him and helped him. Can't move past the years of pain he went through after his father died on the job.

He storms out of the cafe they met at quickly, jumping on his motorcycle, revving it once and giving one last glance at his mother who has her shoulders slumped, hands covering her face. Keith can't help but feel some satisfaction at how the tables have turned.

Except they don't, because she continues to reach out to him, keeps trying to sneak back into his life. She finds him at school, at work, through Shiro and even accidentally as he's walking through the grocery store. She has a ring on this time, one she wasn't wearing a few months ago when he met her. And then he looks down and there's a smaller version of her sitting in the cart. It's obvious who the little girl is, obvious what that makes her to Keith.

Something in him snaps.

 

 

_so everyone is going to the movies, do you want to come with?_

_ no thanks. _

_i miss you keith._

 

 

"I'm really worried about you," Shiro's voice sounds somewhere in his room but Keith keeps his face buried in his pillow, still groggy, not willing to wake up just yet. If he can have his way he'll sleep longer. He rejected the annual summer job offer from Coran and Allura, doesn't have school, and all he wants is to just sleep, shut himself in. Forget about everything.

"Go away," Keith mumbles, pulling the blankets over his head.

"You're not dealing with this in a healthy way, Keith," Shiro continues, a sudden weight pushing down on his mattress.

"Ugh," Keith groans, shaking his head.

He takes a few deep breaths, turns his head slightly to the side and looks up just enough to find Shiro's concerned gaze on him. He starts to feel his forehead pulsing into yet another headache so he shuts his eyes.

"We love you, Keith," Shiro tells him and Keith feels Shiro's cool fingertips brush against his forehead and Keith sniffs once when the tears immediately rise at the contact. Hates it so much that he turns around sharply, rubs at his eyes to clear up the moisture.

"Go away."

 

 

Lance stops texting him eventually and just shows up. Somehow drags Keith into doing little tasks like cooking something together so they can eat, sometimes with Shiro and Adam if he's over. Sometimes they watch a movie with the projector Lance invested in, curl up together after Lance rips Keith's old sheets and blankets off his bed and replaces them with fresh ones. Lance tells him funny stories from his job, about Hunk, what new thing Pidge is working on, the robot she made that went crazy because she forgot a semicolon on her code.

Sometimes Lance just holds him, murmurs quiet sweet-nothings against the crown of his head, brushes back Keith's greasy and unkempt hair because he can't even get up to do that and Keith can't help but think about how easy all of this used to be. How easy it was to open the door and immediately feel that rush of happiness when he saw Lance on the other side, even when they were just friends. Can't help but think about how late their hang outs ran sometimes that they fell asleep together in Keith's bed and Shiro would look at them disapprovingly the next morning but never said anything because he knew they didn't go farther than cuddling together.

And then there's a shift in Lance, his smiles turn sad, the light in his eyes dies, he comes over and stays less time than he used to and Keith can see what's happening. Can feel himself losing Lance but he can't make the feeling inside of him taking over _stop_. Lance is one of the only people worth it to Keith and he can't even stop himself from shutting him out. It makes him feel worthless, undeserving of Lance and the attention he continues to show.

And Keith doesn't know how to react, didn't really have that much experience with people before Shiro and his friends. Doesn't know how he's supposed to behave in a relationship because this is the first one that's gone past a first date. The first one that's felt like something that will last. His lack of experience, of how to express himself turns into irritation, into snapping at Lance for any little thing. Their playful bickering from before turns into bitter comments from Keith and Lance flinching every time before he clears his throat and tries to change the subject.

It turns into Keith pulling away sharply every time Lance tries to touch him, hug him, press a kiss against his cheek. Into a sneer when Lance says he loves him in a voice that breaks at the word "you."

It's late at night and he gets up from his room to grab a glass of water when he hears it. Lance's voice, a little broken, really sad. There's short breaths that sound like sobs and Keith immediately tenses, taking one step forward, his body ready to run over, to help, but he then hears Shiro's deep voice.

"It's going to be okay," Shiro says softly and Keith presses himself against the wall, brows furrowing. "You are doing great. I know Keith really appreciates it even if he doesn't say it."

"It's hard," Lance says and Keith shuts his eyes when he hears the wobble in his voice.

"I know," Shiro says quietly.

Keith takes a deep breath, walks back to his room despite how dry his mouth and throat feel. He pulls the blankets over his head again once he's back in his bed, his leg shaking slightly, heart pounding, a heavy guilt settling deep in his bones because Lance doesn't deserve this. Doesn't deserve to have someone who takes him for granted, someone _broken_.

 

 

_...keith?_

 

 

"We're not gonna make it are we?" Lance mumbles, hugging his knees to his chest. Keith is sitting across from him on the floor, his arms crossed, back pressed against his bed.

They just got done yelling at each other over something Keith can't even remember anymore. He only recalls mentioning his mother, his sister, the anger spilling out of him in waves until he was yelling about Lance. About how clingy he was,, how pathetic, how selfish, how _annoying_. Really Keith just remembers wanting to spark anger in Lance, wishing that Lance would yell at him instead of sit next to him patiently and talk softly about how much he cared about Keith. About how much other people cared about him.

Keith looks at Lance after he says the words though, sees the shimmer of tears pooling in his eyes, ready to spill. He has a small smile on his lips but Keith quickly recognizes it as the one Lance wears when he's feeling vulnerable, broken. It doesn't stop Keith from responding with more anger.

"You're right," Keith's voice is scratchy. "We're not."

"I love you," Lance says, his breath hitching before he hangs his head forward and Keith can see the tears dotting his floor as Lance's shoulders shake.

Keith wants to say it back but he stays quiet, rises to his feet when Lance does the same. Furrows his brows together and purses his lips into a straight line when Lance looks up at him again and he almost breaks his cold facade when he sees Lance's suddenly blank eyes. Gone are the shine of them whenever he looked at Keith, the crinkle at the corners because he always smiled at him that tilt of his lips into that beautiful curve that made Lance's smile, smirk, laugh.

"But you're right," Lance continues, swallows once. "I guess we're not going to make it. We might as well end it now."

"Okay," Keith tells him, looks away.

Really he wants to get on his knees, crawl close to Lance and beg him to stay. Wants to tell him he'll be better, that he will try harder but he swallows it back. He turns away when Lance's long legs move him within seconds to the door of his room. Rolls his eyes when he sees Shiro and Adam standing outside of the door to his room. They're both looking at Keith and Lance with furrowed brows, mouths twitching because clearly they want to say something but Lance brushes past them in a hurry. The three of them flinch when they hear the slam of the door and Keith closes the door to his room, locking it before Shiro or Adam can do or say anything. He doesn't want to deal with anyone right now.

 

 

Despite everything they see each other again. Keith, stupid with exhaustion and heartbreak goes to Lance's house. He sees the disapproving stare of his siblings through the window but he doesn't care. Wants to see Lance just one more time before he resigns himself to a life without him. Lance stands in front of him with his arms wrapped around himself, looking oddly small despite his slightly taller height over Keith. He doesn't shoo his siblings away and they don't close the curtains.

"What are you doing here, Keith?" Lance asks, his voice tired.

"I don't know," Keith tells him, shaking his head, trying to ignore the glare Veronica is sending his way.

"Please leave," Lance says, sniffling a few times and he turns away.

Keith doesn't stop him.

 

 

He slowly comes out of the pit he dug himself into. Starts coming out of his room, showering every day, sitting with Shiro and Adam for dinner. He starts to laugh at jokes they make, hangs out with Pidge when she reaches out to him, goes back to school despite missing out on an entire semester, makes up for the time he lost by helping Allura and Coran out at their store.

It's because he's feeling better that he starts to think about Lance even more than before, starts to miss him with an intensity he had never experienced before, sends him text messages that are never answered. At one point Keith thinks that he might be blocked but it doesn't stop him from sending messages whenever he has the time.

 

 

_ lance, i'm sorry. i know i messed up really bad. i really want you to know that it was never my intention to let you down like that. there was just so much going on. i didn't know what to do. i didn't know how to react. i was bitter...angry.... my mom she... she left me but had another child she didn't mind keeping? married to some other man without ever thinking of looking for me. i just didn't know what to do... please, can we talk? i miss you. _

_ shiro did the dumbest thing today. if you had been here you would have roasted him so beautifully. adam was losing his mind he turned so red from laughing, he couldn't breathe for a solid minute. _

_ pidge said you're not talking to her right now... you know she's not taking sides right? i think she misses you a lot. _

_ lance please... please... _

_ you're not replying anyway so i'll just take my chances. i fucking love you lance. i haven't stopped even for a second. i was sad and i needed you and i know you were there but why did you give up?? why did you just turn away as soon as i agreed with you? i would lay down my life for you lance and you just... you just left me. when i needed you the most you left me. _

_keith, stop._

_ what? _

_i don't want to see any of this, can you please just stop? you made your decision. you left me too. you left me FIRST, you know? love takes work from both people. i can't just wait on you forever like that. you can't just come back to me now because something changed or whatever... that's not how it works keith, i would never do that to you. so just stop._

_ Lance _

_stop. stop texting me._

 

 

Keith's phone drops from his hands. He sits in the silence of his room for a few minutes, frozen on the spot because his memories are back. His memories are back and they didn't come in the small fragments they had been presenting themselves in since Keith went back into his routine. They came back all at once and they feel like a bucket of ice cold water has been dropped on him. He stumbles out of his bed and drops to his knees in front of his bedside table, opens the drawer and digs through it desperately until he finally spots the envelope tucked into the before corner of the drawer, it's crumpled and looks ugly and yellow but he rips into it anyway.

He lets out a soft gasp as he sees the photo of his little sister inside along with a sticky note with the contact information for his mother. He sees the scribbled note about how she wants Keith to be in her life, about how she wants to be in his life, about how his little sister would benefit from a big brother figure like Keith. He can't help but think about Shiro, can't help but compare himself to his own big brother in this scenario. Wonders how his little sister looks now that so many years have gone by since he found out about her, about his mom.

He rises to his feet and tucks the photo and sticky note into the pocket of his sweats, glances at his phone once because he wants to call someone but the first person he thinks about is Lance and after getting all of those memories back he isn't sure if Lance would be the best person to talk to. Can feel bitterness rising like bile on his chest and up his throat because Lance gave up on him eventually, Lance can give up on him again. He's about to make up his mind, about to call Shiro to see if he's busy with Adam or if he can come over and talk when he hears a knock on his front door.

After ruffling his hair and taking a few deep breaths Keith finally walks to the door, peers through the peephole and his eyes widen when he sees Lance on the other side. He's rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, looks too cute with his lips pursed outward and eyes wandering up the ceiling and Keith hates that he thinks that. He has half a mind to pretend that he isn't home but the other half of his mind is stronger and he opens the door, looks at Lance and can't help but return the smile that Lance offers him.

"Hey," Lance says, looking down suddenly, his cheeks dusted with a bright red color, making his freckles pop. "I uh... I was at home and I just... I missed you so... I'm here..."

"You left me," Keith blurts suddenly. "My memories of you are back and you... you left me."

"Ah..." Lance makes a soft noise, looks up and that nice red color is drained from his face now, leaves him looking a bit pale, eyes wide and lips set now into a worried line. "Keith that... you memories?"

"Yeah," Keith nods, rubs his arm when he feels a sudden chill.

Lance rocks back on his feet and his eyes dash to the side and Keith thinks it looks like he's about to run out but Lance instead looks back at him and then past him inside the apartment.

"Can I come in?" Lance asks and Keith nods.

It's not what Keith expected their next meeting to be like. He had pictured instead some cuddling, kissing, a _lot_ of talking. Getting back together. Instead it feels awkward, they sit on opposite ends of Keith's couch, and Keith doesn't even offer Lance a drink.

"I didn't want to leave you," Lance mumbles, his fingers fiddling with the fabric of his shirt. "I... I just didn't know what more I could do for you."

The thing is that Keith is working hard to keep his mouth shut and listen but anger and sadness is bubbling up inside him. The lost memories don't feel like they happened years ago. It feels like it was yesterday, like Lance turned him away from his door, asked him to stop just a few hours ago. So he's angry, he's sad, he's heartbroken all over again but at the same time...

"I..." Keith trails off.

"I know you must have felt terrible," Lance continues. "I should have let you when you reached out to me after when you... when you were feeling better but I thought you might just think I only cared about you when you weren't at your worst and..."

Keith knows Lance isn't like that. He should probably say that but he can't seem to open his mouth, feels like he should go to his room and curl up under his blankets and shut off the world again like he used to but the difference is that Lance is here now. He came because he wanted to talk about the two of them, because he _missed_ Keith.

"Do you think this was a mistake?" Keith asks, cutting off Lance as he tries to take a deep breath to get started again.

"What?" Lance asks, blinking quickly at Keith a few times.

"Do you think us becoming closer again was a mistake," Keith says, clearing his his throat after because it suddenly feels thick.

"No," Lance says immediately. "I don't."

"Okay," Keith nods, laughs slightly, relief flooding through him.

"Okay?" Lance asks, scoots closer to Keith, his hand against Keith's knee.

"Yeah," Keith says, turns to look at Lance with a smile. "If you still want to... I want to try again. Us. I want us to try again."

"Yeah," Lance sighs, hesitating for a second before he throws himself across the couch and wraps his arms around Keith in a tight hug. "Please."

###

Lance rolls his eyes as he watches Keith lean on the counter of his kitchen, he has a lollipop in his mouth, the stick moving back and forth as he scrolls through his phone.

"What are you looking so smug about?" Lance asks, raising an eyebrow as he stirs the pasta on the pan he had been watching for a while. "Leaning over there all cool looking."

"You think I'm cool?" Keith says, his voice teasing and Lance looks over just to see Keith's smug smile. He's still looking at his phone, typing quick replies and snorting from time to time.

"Only on rainy days," Lance tells him and huffs, turning off the stove once the food reaches the consistency he was looking for. He walks over to Keith and peers into his screen, smiling when he sees the picture of Keith's sister with a flower crown filter on her, her tongue sticking out. Keith immediately turns on his camera for a reply and pulls his phone away enough so that Lance can be on the frame as well.

He snaps the photo of them quickly and then types a caption on it telling her to go do her homework before he tucks his phone into his pocket, turns his head just so that he's looking at Lance with a raised eyebrow and a small smile. It's a good look on Keith, something Lance doesn't mind admitting to himself because now he's getting to know the Keith from now but also sees a lot of the Keith from three years ago.

After a heated discussion Lance had convinced Keith to go meet his sister, something he had been hesitant to do due to everything that had happened after he convinced Keith to go meet his mother but he knew this time had to be different. And it was. This time Lance had tagged along to their meeting at the zoo and only had to talk non-stop for about ten minutes before the little girl snapped at him to shut up and made Keith laugh so hard he had to sit down. Lance pouted at that but later couldn't help but smile as he watched them from a few feet away talking to each other. Keith reached over to ruffle her hair and she kicked his shin, her tongue sticking out.

"I'm sorry I told you to shut up," she had said to him, her arms crossed, lip twisted to one side and pursed outward. Lance couldn't help but snort at the expression, having seen it multiple times on Keith before. "I was really nervous and trying to think and you were talking too much."

"Apology accepted," Lance smiled, patting her head twice. "I'm sorry too, for distracting you."

When they dropped her off at her house they hung around the outside of it, lingering by the car while Keith's sister climbed on top of it and tried to cram as many more stories as she could before she had to go back inside. She had offered for Keith to come in and see her room and her pet turtle but Keith had declined with a soft voice, telling her he wasn't ready to go inside yet. She threw herself at him for one last hug when the front door opened and Lance glanced over, giving a polite smile to the woman that opened the door.

Lance could tell that she definitely had the dominant genes in their family because both Keith and his sister were her exact image. She kept her distance and waited for her daughter to stop clinging to Keith, closing the door behind them with a small wave at Keith.

Keith suddenly turned around and slumped into Lance's side, his eyebrows furrowing together, lips pursing closed for a second before he's tilting his head upward just so to meet Lance's eyes.

"That was hard."

"You did great," Lance had told him with a smile.

###

It's a secret from everyone right now because it's tentative and they're not really sure where it's going. Keith flinches away from him sometimes, his eyes losing their light for a moment as if he's remembering something again before he snaps out of it and takes Lance's hand again. It's a secret from everyone but it's hard to keep it secret when they're around others. They couldn't even keep it secret from Shiro the first time but they're trying this time around.

Keith, Lance, Shiro, Adam, and Hunk are all crowded inside a booth at a burger and fries place. They all have milkshakes in front of them and Keith keeps eyeing Lance's but doesn't ask for a sip, instead sticking to sulkily sucking from his own. They're pressed together, Lance in between both Keith and Hunk. Adam and Shiro have taken the other side of the booth completely, their giant milkshake has two straws sticking out of it and as Lance watches them he's a little bit jealous of the ease they have around each other.

He sees Adam tossing a ketchup pack at Shiro before he even has the chance to ask, sees how Shiro lifts his hand and catches it expertly, dotting Adam's fry with it before he takes care of his own. He watches as Adam snorts and wipes salt from the corner of Shiro's mouth with his thumb and really really starts to miss that dynamic he had built with Keith as well in the past.

They had been like the perfect dream team, unconsciously switching the position of leader between each other, knowing what they needed before they even had the chance to express it. And Lance could see it was slowly starting to become like that but he figured that as long as they were hiding their tentative relationship again they wouldn't have the chance to get comfortable being like Shiro and Adam.

When Pidge shows up she scoots in next to Shiro and Lance slaps his hand against the table. It makes Hunk jump and Keith raise an eyebrow as he looks over. A confession of their relationship had been bubbling up his chest steadily but it dies down when he sees everyone staring at him expectantly. He weakly asks, "Another round of fries on me?"

"Yes!" Hunk cheers next to him and Lance looks over with a grin, dropping back on the booth and moving his hands to put both of them under the booth, lest he'll try to make a bold confession again.

He freezes for a moment when he feels Keith's fingers brush against his before he hooks their pinky fingers together. Lance grins across the table at Shiro who narrows his eyes and looks over him before he shrugs.

Later, right before they're about to finish up eating Hunk gently clinks on his milkshake glass and looks around the table with a small smile. Lance wants to tell him that's cheesy but Keith takes the opportunity of everyone looking at Hunk to lace all of his fingers with Lance's leaning around him to get a better look at Hunk himself, a small smile curling on one corner of his lips as well.

"I just wanted to say that I'm really happy we can all just hang out together once again," Hunk says, his voice has that raspy texture to it and he's wearing a small smile as he looks around the table, his gaze stopping at Keith. "I'm specially happy that we can have Keith around again without it being awkward, that both uh, Lance and Keith found a way to make their friendship work after everything that happened."

"Weird that you have to mention all of that," Pidge notes and Lance glances at her with a roll of his eyes. Keith squeezes his hand before he lets it go in favor of reaching around Lance to pat Hunk on the back.

"It's just good to see all of us together again," Hunk shrugs, his eyes a little bit misty but he blinks a few times and it's gone. He sits down again and they all talk over one another until Pidge finally announces that she's out, Shiro and Adam slide after her and the rest follow.

Lance stumbles slightly as he gets back on his feet and Keith straightens him up by supporting him by the elbow before they're both walking out after Hunk. Pidge is rocking back and forth on her feet as she stands in front of her car. They're talking about something while Adam stands behind Pidge and tries to tie her hair into a ponytail as she moves. As they move closer Lance can hear them better and snorts when he hears Adam's muffled complains.

"Stop moving, you're making this really hard, do you want your hair out of your face or not?" he grumbles, the hair-tie bobbing up and down between his lips as he speaks.

"I don't know where you got the idea that I wanted my hair up from!" Pidge shouts and Shiro rolls his eyes.

"From my head and it looked great but if you're going to be like that forget it!" Adam huffs, dropping the hair-tie and slouching against his car again.

"You really have to go home?" Shiro asks. "I thought we could all go get some pizzas and watch movies."

"You can eat more after all those fries and milkshakes?" Keith asks, his voice sounds amazed but Lance can tell he's doing it to tease.

It works, Shiro immediately turns his attention on Keith and reaches out with a hand to lightly brush it against Keith's cheek in a pretend slap.

"Don't talk to your father that way, young man," Shiro tells him sternly and Keith groans, rolling his eyes to play up the part.

They're not supposed to linger like this in the parking lot and Hunk keeps reminding them nervously before he finally gets in his car to leave. It quiets down slightly once he's gone, Pidge follows a few minutes after him and then it's just four of them. When Keith notices that Shiro and Adam are making sticky eyes at each other he grabs Lance by the wrist and pulls him away to Lance's car. He leans against it and Lance rests his elbow against the hood in an attempt to look just as cool as Keith does right now.

Maybe it's the setting sun and the way the sky slowly darkens, shifting from pinks to blues and purples. Maybe it's just that Lance doesn't have the strength to resist anymore. He steps closer and closer to Keith every time he makes him laugh. Can't help but admire the way his lashes cast shadows until there's no more light for it. Maybe it's just that he's tired of holding himself back when they're not alone, maybe it's just that his hand feels weird if Keith is in front of him and he's not touching him somehow, not linking their fingers together and giving meaningful and comforting squeezes as they talk. Maybe it's just something weird like second nature but--

The wind blows hard enough to make Keith's hair flap in the air and Lance grins when he sees him trying to spit out the locks that went into his mouth. He laughs slightly and takes that final step that puts him directly in front of Keith, invading his personal space, he reaches out with both hands and gathers Keith's front hair into a small bun at the top. It works, the rest of Keith's hair keeps flowing with the wind but it's not in his face anymore and the worst part of it is that he looks _cute_ too.

He can't stop himself from sliding his arms around Keith's shoulders, his wrists knocking together gently behind him as he leans forward and presses a soft kiss against Keith's exposed forehead. He can see Keith grinning as the latter pulls his head back and moves it to the side, not to get away from Lance but just because he's a little bit embarrassed, or overwhelmed, something at least that Lance knows is not negative by the soft huff he makes and the color on his cheeks.

" _I knew it!_ "

The words break the moment and Lance looks back quickly to see Adam pointing while Shiro stands next to him, his head tilted to the side, one hand scratching at his hair in the perfect imagine of someone that's confused. Keith curses softly and Lance pulls away with a little bit of panic rising on his chest because he messed up, they got caught, of course they would doing what they were when they knew Shiro and Adam were around. He barely has the chance to hope that Keith isn't mad when Keith wraps his arms around Lance's waist and hooks his chin on his shoulder, yelling "And what of it!" back at Adam who laughs before he's saying that Shiro owes him so much money.

###

Honestly Keith thinks it's a relief that they don't have to hide anymore. He doesn't have to bother on keeping Lance a secret, something he never wanted to do in the first place but knew might be necessary given their history, and can even spend time with the rest of his friends without any worries. He was prepared for some light teasing from everyone but instead the entire group just grins when they see any type of affection between the two of them before the conversation picks up again.

It's surprising how quickly things go back to how they used to be. Lance doesn't even hesitate as he throws himself over Keith's lap and doesn't pause for even a second before he's already ranting about his day and what happened. It's surprising that he still has the ability to push Keith forward into doing what he knows he should. He nudges Keith in the right direction to approach his previous employer again, helps him on finding his courage to ask for his job back (which he gets).

They try with his family too, all of his siblings hesitant to welcome Keith back into their home but as a show of twin solidarity Rachel is quick to embrace Keith again and somehow convinces Veronica and Luis and Marco. Keith doesn't have to go through the entire ordeal of asking for permission to take Lance out but he does get a few menacing words in a low tone of voice before things go back to normal. Keith gets it, he knows that it's what he deserves, knows that if the situation had been switched around Shiro would have probably treated Lance with some hesitance at first as well.

But it's easy, it's easy to slip back into how things used to be, easy to say yes when Lance says he's going to visit his parents and eat dinner with them and when he asks if Keith wants to come along too. It's easy. Being with Lance has always been easy and Keith can't help but be glad that at least this part of them hasn't changed. Because even though they are slipping back into the same dynamic they had together some things are different too.

Keith notices it first when he realizes that Lance is now more self-assured than he was before. Notices how he doesn't freeze up and shove himself to last place when there are other people involved. Notices that although Lance is still selfless as ever, he also puts himself first more often, makes sure that he's doing alright before he's trying to lift Pidge out of her panic when she starts to feel dysphoric after a visit to the salon trims her hair just a bit too short. He makes sure that he's in a good mind space before he's offering to help Hunk relax and check his codes for any syntax errors on the new programs he's writing.

And they're better for it because Lance isn't letting Keith push him around anymore when Keith doesn't realize he's doing it, snaps back when Keith loses his temper and leaves the room if it gets to be too much when Keith can't help but feel overwhelmed by the reality of everything that happened. Is patient and listens when Keith finally cools down and asks for his forgiveness because he definitely never means to take out his frustrations on Lance.

Their fighting comes on less and less because Lance refuses to let anymore misunderstandings hang between them, puts space between them when they need it to think over things before they're meeting again in one of their homes to talk things out and soon enough they're huddled together with their arms around each other laughing at how ridiculous the entire thing was in the first place.

It's easy but there's times too when certain things feel like dejavu, when moments he shares with Lance trigger memories that are still coming back to make him feel bitter.

Things that he doesn't even think will trigger memories, like sitting with Lance in his room, Lance's knees drawn up to his chest as he holds his phone up and looks at the screen, eyes darting over it and Keith looks at him from the other side and Lance rapidly taps at his phone before dropping it and muttering, "Ugh, I didn't make it."

Lance stays sitting and the music of his mobile game starts up again but Keith's memories flash him back to the night they broke things off officially, his head follows the trail that is different because this isn't his room in Shiro's house but Keith can see how Lance would look standing, how he would look wiping tears, how the door would creak as he opened it, the shocked faces of Adam and Shiro on the other side as they eavesdrop, the slam of the front door after Lance pushes past them.

The vision shakes off Keith's mind after a minute and he looks at Lance again. He's biting his lip as he taps furiously at the screen and the music shifts to one announcing he won the level, he looks up at Keith, shakes the phone in his hand and is laughing.

"Level one hundred!" Lance shouts, dropping his phone and stalking over to Keith, tackling him down on the mattress of his bed. "I did it! I beat you. Give me my prize."

The anxiety Keith had felt building up at the thought of Lance walking away again like he did that night eases as he feels Lance rub his pointy chin against his chest, face nuzzling into the side of Keith's neck before he's biting at the skin there playfully, squeezing Keith in his arms tightly and wiggling in an attempt to get a reaction out of him.

"Here you go," Keith says, his voice sounds slightly gruff as the lump he had felt form in his throat eases down. Lance looks up and gives him a grin before he's leaning upward again to meet Keith halfway in a kiss.

###

Shiro and Adam are grunting with effort as they start to pull the motorcycle off the back of Adam's truck. Keith kept offering to help them but Shiro had pushed him away and told him that the two of them could handle it.

Keith feels like his fingertips are buzzing with energy as they finally set the bike down in front of him and he looks over it with an almost lovingly gaze. Shiro and Adam stand on either side of it and Keith can see the nervous energy in Shiro and Adam's hesitant but brave attitude about Keith getting back to riding.

He walks closer to the bike and brushes his fingertips lightly over the steering grip, drags his fingers down the paint and rounds the bike slowly, he grins when he sees the scratches that peeled off some of the paint are still there but the dents have been smoothed out. The tires are new and Keith pinches the side of one experimentally before he's standing straight again, grabbing the helmet that was hanging off a steering handle.

"Are you sure about this?" Shiro asks him, he hovers nervously near Keith as Keith tucks the helmet between his legs to pull his hair back into a small ponytail.

"Yes, Shiro," Keith drones playfully but before he pulls on the helmet he gives a reassuring pat on the shoulder to his brother. "I'll be very careful."

Shiro doesn't look convinced but he nods, taking a few steps back. Keith pulls the helmet over his head then, throws a leg over his bike to straddle it, sitting down on the new plush seat and looks over the familiar dashboard. He turns the key, kicks the engine awake, sits straight and keeps his feet steady on the ground before he's looking around.

He grins under his helmet when he sees Lance climbing out of Hunk's car, his own helmet tucked under his arm, curly hair still flowing with the wind and then he's making a straight line to where Keith is. He pulls on the helmet just a few steps away from being next to the bike, slides over it as easily as Keith did and scoots his body forward until his chest is pressed flush against Keith's back. His arms slide around Keith's waist and he grips firmly, legs pressing together so he's adding extra support to the both of them and then Keith takes off.

He hears Lance's excited whoop and feels him squeeze just a bit tighter before his grip returns to what it was before, his helmet pressing against the back of Keith's neck as he rests his head down against him.

This is what comes naturally to Keith. The speed, the wind in his clothes, stinging his skin, Lance holding on tight as he makes sharp turns, as he speeds up. Trusting that Keith will keep them safe even after everything that has happened.

They take their exit from the highway. Lances sits up straight when the shoreline comes into view, squeezes Keith gently in his arms as Keith starts to slow down his speed to comply with the limits. They don't say anything even though Lance wouldn't have to yell to be heard anymore. Instead Keith thinks Lance is enjoying the moment, looking at the reflection of the sky on the water. Keith steers them slowly to the parking lot, turns off his engine and he misses the vibrations all over his body but Lance loosens his grip, slides off and stumbles for a second on shaky legs before he's laughing, tugging off the helmet from his head.

Keith grins and dismounts the bike as well, pulls out his helmet and shakes his head a few times to get rid of the stiffness, grabs Lance's helmet to tuck them away on his compartment before he's offering his hand to Lance, lacing their fingers together when Lance reaches out as well. They look at each other with silly grins, knock shoulders together before they're swaying their arms between each other, stepping into the sand.

###

Lance could never really understand what Keith had seen in him. Couldn't believe that they had both developed mutual feelings for each other after years of sharing a rivalry and then friendship. He leans into Keith's shoulder as they stare at the setting sun, feels like he's caught in a perfect moment as he feels droplets of salt water drip down on his shoulders and drag down his neck as he continues to dry off. Keith has his legs stretched out in front of him, arms behind himself to brace his weight and Lance's.

He shook his hair free from his loose ponytail when they finally settled down to dry before they have to leave in an hour. He has water droplets sliding down the side of his neck and clinging to his arms as well but seems at home. Lance thinks it's only because the beach at least feels a little bit like the desert and Keith had apparently lived in one for a few years as a child. His skin isn't burnt bright red but rather has turned a pleasant shade darker, cheeks in what looks like a permanent flush.

"Keith?" Lance murmurs softly, doesn't want to break off the moment and the silence between them that had been filling comfortably with the sounds of the waves, the breeze, birds, and the radio from a family sitting a few feet away from them playing a cumbia track.

"Yeah?" Keith hums softly, turning to look at Lance with a small smile.

"I love you," Lance tells him, swallows once after he's said it.

It's been a few months since they got back together, almost exactly six and neither of them had said it again, hadn't admitted to it even though Lance knew they wouldn't be trying again if they didn't love each other. Still, he hadn't felt ready to utter the words and Keith seemed to feel exactly the same way but Lance had been starting to feel tired of not vocalizing it when he knew it was true.

He knew that showing it in those little ways like kisses pressed against Keith's forehead or shoulder were enough, knew that showing him by buying him a snack, or forcing him to sleep at night, or sharing his food without Keith asking was enough but he also found himself almost saying it every time he did any of those things.

Found himself almost saying it to Keith as a greeting and goodbye after they spent the day together.

"I love you too," Keith says after he stares dumbfounded at Lance for ten seconds, grins right after and lets out a huff of laughter through his nose, throws himself over Lance and tackles him into the sand. Lance digs his fingers into it for a second find his balance before he's hugging Keith back, turning his head to press a soft and chaste kiss against Keith's lips.

They pull back and stare at each other for a moment before they're snickering at each other, Keith brushing back Lance's damp hair from his forehead, leaning closer so their noses are brushing together, lips barely touching as he says it again, "I love you _so_ _much_ , Lance."

Lance presses his fingertips lightly against the soft skin on Keith's lower back, digs his nails in and drags down lightly on reflex against Keith's skin when he feels the press of Keith's lips gently against his throat. The kisses are soft, chaste, and Lance feels love pour out of them as they press against every surface of his skin, down his shoulder and back up again before Keith lifts himself on his hands to meet Lance's eyes.

"What?" Lance asks, laughing slightly as he reaches up to tug gently at a damp lock of Keith's hair.

"I'm just so lucky," Keith mutters, shaking his head. "I probably shouldn't say this, but I can't help but feel a little bit thankful for my accident if it brought me here. Back to you."

"Yeah, you're right," Lance tells him, rolling his eyes. "You really shouldn't say that but... I think if this hadn't happened something else would have... because you and me, buddy, we're meant for each other. The universe would always find a way to get us back where we belong."

"Cheesy," Keith says teasingly, pressing another kiss against Lance's cheek before he's sitting up, rolling back on his feet and pulling Lance along. They stare at each other for a moment before they're picking up their clothes to tug them on, Lance shivers slightly at the feeling of his still damp shorts under his jeans but pushes it away as Keith laces their fingers together again and starts pulling him along back to the motorcycle.

###

"I bet it's still here," Lance laughs, the screen behind them is playing the commercials before the movie trailers begin, and the theater is nearly empty but Keith and Lance immediately beeline for the very back of the theater. Lance lets go of Keith's hand and Keith feels a little bit put out because these days he just wants the two of them to have nonstop contact. He stops short when Lance starts to walk back and forth on the aisle before he spots what he was looking for, waving over Keith as he sets their tub of popcorn down on his seat. "Babe! It's over here!"

The pet name still melts something inside of Keith every time he hears it, he can't help but grin as he walks closer and peeks over Lance's shoulder and sure enough, there it is. There, between two seats, are their initials with hearts drawn around them, a scoreboard with tiny dashes under it marking how many points they each had. They had made the markings with pencil assuming someone would eventually have to clean it up, but seeing that it has withstood the test of time by still being there after nearly four years made something in Keith's stomach roll in a good way.

"See?" Lance says, sitting down on the seat next to his initial, patting the spot next to him. "Whatever happens, we'll always come back to each other."

"I see it," Keith laughs, shakes his head and sits down, pulling the divider between their seats up and leaning back into a comfortable position as Lance scoots in closer to him and curls against Keith.

They shove their hands into the popcorn tub occasionally, making fun of the trailers and then the film as they watch, snickering together before they're bored enough to start tossing popcorn into each other's mouths.

Later when Keith is lingering outside of Lance's front door, when they have their hands clasped between one another, swaying them slightly from side to side as Lance tells him about the latest development in his quest for the perfect bathtub experience Keith can't help but reflect just a bit in what Lance kept saying about always finding a way back together.

Years ago after their breakup Keith couldn't see how that would ever be a possibility, had felt physically ill every time he remembered that Lance wasn't his anymore. Had tried everything he could have possibly tried and even stopped himself when some of his planned actions seemed a bit crazy. He had held himself back because he didn't believe that he and Lance were a possibility anymore, that they had the wrong timing, or weren't actually meant for each other.

Yet... looking at Lance under the crappy lighting of his front door, the curtains drawn, Hunk's muffled laughter behind the door, the sound of their TV, Lance stepping closer... Keith doesn't know how he could ever doubt that this was right, that this was their future, that this was _meant to be_.

"You know," Lance says, their noses brushing together as he crowds into Keith's personal space, space that Lance had never been aware of, had always invaded and Keith had never minded. "I don't know if I like the idea of you driving back to your place, it's already so dark outside."

The sun is barely setting and Keith lives only ten minutes away and he tries to stop himself from grinning but fails miserable as their lips brush together while Lance slips his hands away from Keith's to wrap around his waist, cling to him as he presses a soft kiss to Keith's slightly open mouth.

"Maybe you can stay tonight?" Lance mumbles as Keith's arms lift to slide around Lance's shoulder and neck. "You can sleep in the couch if you don't want to crash with me..."

"Only to give you peace of mind, baby," Keith says in what he hopes is a serious voice and Lance snorts, laughs that precious and bright laughter that makes Keith feel warm.

"Yeah?" Lance says, pulling his head back slightly and Keith knows it's only because he likes the way Keith chases after him without a second thought.

"Yeah," Keith nods, leaning forward, closing the distance between them and slotting their lips together for a brief kiss before Lance pulls back, a bit unwilling, turning to unlock the door and step inside with Keith close behind him.

"Oh, hey guys!" Hunk says once they round the first hall and step into the living room.

"Hey," Keith grins, squeezes Lance's hand before he's letting go and both of them are walking over to the couch to sit down with Hunk, stealing the bowl of chips he has on his lap.

This is the type of forever Keith wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well... there it is! i just saw how long it took me to update and i am so sorry lol. season 7 hurt my feelings and made me sad so i was in a big f voltron mood for a while. but then i realized klance is forever and idc what happens, i love these two and i am going to write them as many of my fave tropes as i want >:llll 
> 
> love u guys  
> thank you for the comments and support :')
> 
> also u can pry the rachel and lance are twins headcanon from my cold dead fingers
> 
> omg I'm reading this whole thing back and found some inconsistencies but I'mma be real with you. I was just tired. I forgot to change some of my non organized bullet scenes I wanted to add ): maybe I'll fix them soon but for now I just wanted to finish this and go to sleep ;v;


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